Hangin’ Out in the UK

I left Trinidad for the UK on the 26th of February, a week after Carnival. Twum had come to visit for the Carnival week, and it was nice to see him and spend time with him. I also took part in the Trinidad Carnival, so that was good. I had planned to stay in the UK for about two weeks, getting my Ugandan and South African visas, and making contact with various organizations in both countries. This, did not happen. The organizations in Uganda and South Africa either did not respond, or did not have space for me as they had accepted their quota of interns for the time being, or were working on rape and not domestic violence, etc. In the waiting, I applied for some scholarships to fund my masters program in the fall (I’m still waiting…pray for me), and I baked up a storm! I think I may have made close to five or six pounds of pound cake. I made some chocolate cake and the cheese pound cake. I reconnected with some old friends (Michael Awuye, James Lawson and Victoria Hazel from Morning Star, primary school days, and Elizabeth Yankah from Gey Hey), and also met Kathy’s boyfriend and his friends. We had quite a ball, cooking up a storm and going out to the movies, shopping, and visiting other friends. I also made some new friends.

I also got close to Annabelle, and spent a lot of time with her. One very memorable incident while I was in the UK was on 10th March, when Annabelle and I decided to attend the annual bash to celebrate Ghana’s independence, which was 6th March. (On 6th March we went to Baba’s Foundation to get some food to commemorate the day. I got banku of course! LOL!). This year’s party was huge because Ghana was celebrating 50 years of independence. When we got to the place it was being held, the line was ridiculous. I didn’t have a ticket, and I had to buy one from a lady who was tired of waiting. Annabelle and I stood in line for forever, and then we heard they were allowing people in behind the building, so we went to the back to see what our chances were. They were next to nil. A throng of partygoers, dressed up to the nines in various kente and local cloth combinations, shoulders bare in defiance of the cold weather, were pushing and shoving at this ‘magical’ door. Annabelle and I plunged into this crowd, thinking that we could finally get in. Hahaha! We were shoved and pushed, and I got separated from Annabelle because I got fed up and left the crowd, as people were pushing back and forth, causing this kind of wave effect where you can’t control your body anymore. I did not want to be crushed to death because of this party, thank you very much. ( I know, I know…crushed to death is a little bit much, but I felt I could get badly hurt over there.) I had to call Kathy to get Annabelle’s number, and it turned out that she had also gone out of the crowd to the front of the building, looking for me, while I had exited and stood still at the back of the building. Finally, the police came around in their trucks, announcing on their PA system that the building was closed and no one else would be allowed to enter. I had already sold my ticket by then, and Annabelle also sold hers. We walked down the road, found a bus, and begun the long ride home. We got home around 4am, exhausted, but with nothing to show for it. LOL! Okay, I got something to show for it…a man was selling roti next to the party venue, so to forget my troubles, I bought some roti and munched on it happily. He didn’t have any Sorrel Shandy though, pity. 

When I finally got in touch with two organizations who were willing to have me over, I finalized my ticket, got my Ugandan visa, and got ready to leave. I got to the airport the Sunday I was supposed to arrive, and they said my bags were too heavy and I had to redistribute. I had my trusty jute bag that I had bought in Ajmer, India. I did the redistribution, and went back in line, only to be told that the plane was full. What???!!!! They realized that it was their mistake and booked me on a flight on Tuesday. The Victoria line decided to break down that day, so that a lot of underground stations in Central London had to close. I couldn’t get through. I went to wait for a bus, but because everyone else was also stranded, there was major traffic on the road and the buses were not coming. I finally queued up for a taxi, and Annabelle came to meet me there. We somehow found a way to get to Heathrow, as the stations finally opened up after fixing the problem. It was way too late by then. I called the Emirates Airline and explained the situation to them. They said they would reschedule me for the next day. Annabelle and I went on to the airport to get the change confirmed and to get a new sticker to verify it, and then we took a bus back to East Croydon. The next day, I took that same bus and got to Heathrow safely, checked in, and flew to Uganda, via Dubai. Dubai is lovely, by the way!

Trinidad

I arrived in Trinidad on 6th January, 2007. I was met at the airport by Dearice, the matron at the shelter. She drove me to the shelter and showed me my room, where I had a table with some biscuits, milk, cereal and tea bags. It was quite nice. I think I fell asleep almost immediately. The next day Dearice prepared some mac and cheese, calalou, chicken and beans for lunch. It was delicious. I also got to meet Trevor, the security man/handyman at the Shelter. I also heard the three dogs who are part of the shelter staff. Dearice had to ran some errands so she took me along. I don’t know how I communicated to Twum and my parents that I had arrived, but somehow I did. The next day, Monday, Liz, who is the fundraising person for the shelter and has an office that is out in town, came to see me. I had slept till late, and she had to leave for her office. Later on I met her older sister, Jen, who works as the Shelter Coordinator. Auntie Jens took me under her wing and took me everywhere she went. We went to get donations of food and linen (bedsheets and towels), and we also went grocery shopping for the shelter. As the days progressed, the shelter gradually filled with women, peaking at nine women and five children. Some left while I was still staying there, and others were still in the shelter when I left.

While at the shelter, I realized how hard it must be to leave your life and everything you’ve had as a constant in your life, and flee to a shelter. It’s not an easy decision to make, especially if you don’t have any financial support or are not working, like some of these women. The shelter had curfew of 6pm when you had to have returned from town, you had to have given prior notice the day before if you wanted to go out, and you couldn’t use your cell phone on the premises. Wake up time was 6am everyday, and lights out was 9pm on weekdays and 10pm on weekends ( I think). The children had different lights out times, and there was also a TV schedule for both the women and the children. Each woman had to take part in the cooking and cleaning of the house in addition to taking care of their children. Of course this would cause some friction, as you have all these people who are used to doing things their own way.

Some days I got to sub for the matrons and supervisors on their day off, and I was in charge of the house, and locking up. It was quite scary. One night the person supposed to relieve the day supervisor was very late in coming, and one of the women had an epileptic fit, causing the day supervisor to be delayed even further till 11pm. It was a scary night. I was not there that day, because I had gone out for a Carnival program with one of the night matrons who was not on duty.

For my work, I visited Families in Action (FIA), an organization that works with anybody and everybody on various issues such as drug abuse, alcoholism and domestic abuse. I got the chance to tag along with their Peer Counseling Education team when they went to a secondary school in the southern part of Trinidad to train some students who had been selected to be Peer Counselors. It was a lovely day. I also visited the Rape Crisis Society (RCS), another NGO that deals with rape, sexual abuse and domestic violence, offers free counseling, and also goes out to sensitize the public and educate people, especially in rural Trinidad. RCS established one of the first hotlines in Trinidad. Lastly, I visited the Coalition Against Domestic Violence (CADV), another NGO dealing in domestic violence. They had a lot of different programs such as Stopping Elderly Abuse Now and Childline, in addition to their Domestic Violence work. CADV responds to different DV clients based on what the client needs (counseling, help with divorce, court proceedings, child custody hearings, understanding their rights under the law, etc.). For all three NGOs ( and I think a lot of NGOs worldwide), the main problem is getting funding, and also keeping staff for a long period of time, as this work is hard, demanding and not as financially rewarding as other jobs, causing some people to burn out quickly. I also learnt that a lot of people arrived at their jobs in the NGO/DV field through a lot of avenues. Some had volunteered while pursuing another career, until they finally switched over. Others had never had any experience with the field until they just decided one day to switch careers. Very few had started out working on the issue of domestic violence.

Now for the fun part: I happened to be in Trinidad during the carnival period, so I got to witness and partake in it. I know most of you have already seen my pictures from that time, but it was a lot of fun. I went for fetes where I saw some of their musicians such as Destra Garcia, Shurwayne Winchester and Patrice Roberts. I also attended Calypso Shows, and went jogging on Lady Chancellor Hill like everyone else, in preparation for the carnival. I ate doubles, which are two delicious small, fried rotis filled with beans, chili pepper, mango slices, and other lovely things. I also enjoyed rotis, especially those with goat meat curry, green beans curry, pumpkin, channa and potato, and these greens I love but I can’t remember their name. Oh, I also fell in love….with Sorrel Shandy! Oh Lord! That is the best drink ever. I could drink about six bottles of that a day. I saw the St. James Children’s Carnival too.

Then, Twum joined me in Trinidad, and we had fun walking around and watching Carnival on the Carnival Monday. That night, I decided to play mas on Tuesday, so we called around until I found a band that had space, and I went and got the costume. You all saw what it looked like. I KNOW what it looked like, but I figured it was a once in a lifetime opportunity, so I went for it! Now my kids and grandkids can never say that Mummy/Grandma was boring. Teeheehee! I played with Rhythm Nation, and had a lot of Sorrel Shandy, water and juice to drink. I only played for a half a day. I think playing carnival is mainly tiring because you spend most of the time waiting to move along the street, as all bands have to pass in front of the judges at specific points, one of them around the Savannah, to be rated.

After carnival, Twum unfortunately fell sick. We think it was something he may have picked up on the plane, as after he got to Trinidad, we ate the same food. He however got well before he left, and I was grateful for that. It was a lovely time, and I’m especially glad I got to share it with Twum. We left the same day, him for the US, and me back to the UK, to get visas for Uganda and South Africa.

Christmas in the UK

I spent Christmas in the UK with Twum, and we met up with friends and family. We hung out with Edwin, Twum’s friend from Motown. We also met up with my friend Jojo, a musician, who is getting married this August (Congratulations!), and we also spent time at Twum’s uncle place in Edgware, with Twum’s cousin Fiifi, Fiifi’s girlfriend, and Tracey, a lovely Nigerian girl who also lives in the area. Twum and I had fun decorating the whole house with fake Christmas trees, Christmas lights, and Santa hats. We also visiting Dr. Asante, one of my dad’s friends who lives about five minutes away from Edgware with his family. On 31st December we went to visit Victory Bible Church in East London where Pastor Clement and his wife minister, and I got to sing at the service (it was nice, but I was extremely NERVOUS!). From there, we went back to the hotel to sleep, and then took the train up to Birmingham to visit Angela, Sammy and Adrian. We spent New Year’s Eve with them at church service, and then the next day, they made us the loveliest breakfast ever with this nice mincemeat omelette. Twum and I left for London that same day, and then we spent the first week of the year together, after which I left for Trinidad and he left for the US. Here’s a Belated Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!

Last week in India

My last week in India was pretty uneventful. I had bought some scarves for the ladies as presents, so I wrapped them and distributed them. The day before I was supposed to leave (the Friday), the ladies gave me a necklace, bracelet and earring set made from pearls, with a purple stone. It was really beautiful, and I was quite touched. Anindita’s wedding was that evening, so we planned to leave together form the office. While we were dressing up, I got a call from the airline that was supposed to take me to Mumbai so I could catch my flight to London. They had rescheduled the flight to 11am. I was extremely unhappy. I had cancelled a Kingfisher flight to get on this other flight, and now they had rescheduled. What even annoyed me even more was that all they could say was that they were sorry and there was nothing they could do about it. I kept the woman on the line, explaining to her that I was on a student ticket and didn’t have money to purchase another ticket if I missed my connecting flight to the UK. My friend Jagati meanwhile was on the phone to other airlines to see if I could get another early morning flight. The Air India lady gave me a phone number to call the shift manager at the airport, and he said that I should just come to the airport early in the morning and they would see what they could do. I also managed to get a standby reservation on Jet Airways for almost R 12,000, about twice what I had paid for the Air India flight. Served me right!! Anu the director was told, and she called me from her house to check and make sure that I was alright and everything was being sorted. Jagati was more than helpful, and after all these false starts, we left for Anindita’s marriage ceremony.

She looked amazing! The ceremony itself wasn’t too elaborate as they just signed the marriage licence, and then went through some traditional rituals. When we left the wedding, Chandrana and her husband took me to a hotel café where we had tea and desserts. It was really nice of them. When they dropped me home, I stayed up watching a movie and trying to finish up Mrs. Sanyal’s wrap. She got a little concerned that I would miss my flight, so she came to check on me around 4am. The taxi driver I had hired was already waiting downstairs, so I just got my stuff together and left. I had wanted to give Naran Rs. 1000, but I wasn’t sure how much I would have to pay for my heavy stuff, so I gave him very little money. I’ve been meaning to send him some money by Moneygram but I just haven’t gotten around to it. He was really helpful.

At the airport, I went to various offices and stood there waiting for almost an hour before someone offered to help me. I was feeling very scared because I had booked a flight on Jet Airways which was leaving at 6:30am and it was almost 5am. The lady who saw me at the Air India offices directed me to another office where the shift manager was working. He was a pretty pleasant man, and cracked a few jokes with me. I smiled, but I guess my anxiety must have shown because he quickly filled out an invoice for me to get cash at the other office. At the other office, I had to wait again till they paid out the cash to me. Even that, they called the shift manager to verify, and then I had to move to another office to get the cash. The lady at the accounts office paid me 500 rupees less than they were supposed to, and when I mentioned it, they said it wasn’t true. At that point I didn’t care, and 500 rupees was not enough for me to miss my flight to Mumbai, so I just said it was okay and left, very close to tears.

As I walked to join the security line, I saw some Jet Airways staff. One of them accosted me and asked what the problem was (apparently I looked very distraught). I explained to him, and as I ended saying “I just want to go home”, I heard someone hailing me and waving me down. It was a staff member from Air India, and they were bringing the 500 rupees. For a brief moment, I wanted to be snobbish and uppity and throw it back in their face, but I was too tired to even think up ways of doing something so childish. The man from Jet Airways asked what flight I was on, and when he learnt I was on the 6:30am flight to Mumbai, he quickly ushered me across the security line and I went to join the bus to board the flight.

I think I snored all the way from Kolkata to Mumbai. At the Mumbai domestic terminal, I had to join a queue to board a shuttle to the international terminal. Mind you, I was still wearing my sari from Anindita’s wedding. I got quite a few stares, especially since I was wearing the sari with my full afro combed out. I made it to the international terminal (finally!), and proceeded to go to the Virgin Atlantic counter. At the Mumbai international departure terminal, you had to have your bags screened before you even got to the counter. I screened my bags, and proceeded to the Virgin counter, feeling relieved that I was there three hours before departure, and that I could get to sit down soon. That was not to happen! When I got there, I was told my bags were too heavy (I knew that already! LOL!) and that I had to pay about 26,000 rupees extra to transport them. So I went to change almost all the money I had on me, ready to pay for it. When I got back, they said that I could actually put my stuff into two bags, so I had to redistribute my belongings, and I ended up throwing out some of my yarn. (Sob! Gulp! Sniff! Hehhee..that’s for you Phoebe!) After letting the whole world see the insides of my suitcase at the Virgin counter, I was told I had to go back and get my bags screened! Aaargh! I wanted to scream in frustration! (I was still in my sari…the first time I wear a sari, and I have to carry my over 32kg suitcases to and fro!) When I got back to the Virgin Airlines counter, I got the coupe de grace…my reservation was not in the system. At that point, I just started laughing, and I think I scared the check-in attendants. The one serving me called their supervisor over, and she went to verify whether I was indeed in the system. A few excruciating minutes later, she came over to tell me that they had found my reservation. I also didn’t need to pay that much for my luggage because I was transiting through the US and was allowed two pieces of luggage. So, after finally checking in (thank God!), I went back to the forex bureau to change the rupees into pounds, and then I went to find something to eat.

The trip itself back to the UK was nothing major. When I got to the immigration control area, one of the staff workers asked me whether I was Indian. I wanted to retort that it was a stupid question, seeing that I was as black as he was. I instead just said no, and he asked why I was in a sari then! Oh my! I held my tongue and said I had just arrived from India, and I went past him as quickly as I could. Sheesh! I got out into the departure lounge and waited for a few minutes, and then I saw Twum. We found a cab and went on to our hotel. We ordered some food and I fell asleep right after eating.

Week 9:Monday 4th December 2006 – Sunday 10th December 2006

Today Monday, I’m still recovering from a cold I got sometime last week. I haven’t felt well the whole day and spent most of the day quietly typing on my laptop. I called the STIC office to find a ticket from Kolkata to Mumbai on the 16th. The lady said she would call me back but didn’t, and now the lights are off.  I might not leave till the lights come back on. Meanwhile, I’m not sure what to do to keep myself busy. LOL! There was supposed to be another panel discussion “Women and the Media” at Gorky Sadan, but apparently there were no people in the audience, so it was cancelled. I was quite sad to hear that, as I’m sure it would have been pretty interesting. I have also not seen any of the movies that Drik India puts up after each panel discussion. I hope I can get copies of the movies to watch later.

Week 8 (Monday 27th November – Sunday 3rd December, 2006): Back in Kolkata

PICTURES: First is me with P. Sainath, a photojournalist at his exhibition "Visible work, Invisible women". Next is a picture of me with Rahul Bose, an Indian actor. when he came to participate in Swayam's 16-day campaign. I took a picture with Anindita, one of the Swayam staff, at Oxford bookstore, where an artist put up a painting exhibition "SHE", to raise and donate funds to Swayam. The next picture is of the Swayam staff with visitors from Bangladesh, who also participated in the 16-day campaign. The picture was taken at another exhibition "Women Struggle, Women Resist". The last picture is of Anu and Anindita putting up campaign banners at an outreach program in Metiabruz, a place in Kolkata.

After leaving the train on my arrival in Kolkata, I was heckled by a lot of taxi drivers, but a quick look at my stern face dissuaded most of them from pursuing me. I took a deep breath to calm myself down. One particular driver refused to be shaken off, and finally persuaded me to go with him. When I got to his car, I said I wanted a car with a meter. He tried to convince me that a meter would be three times more expensive than the Rs. 300 he wanted to charge me. I told him I wanted a car with a meter, he and his friend were trying to persuade me to go in his taxi. I told him I wouldn’t pay Rs. 300, because I had taken a taxi to the airport, which was more than 30mins away, and I hadn’t paid Rs. 300 for that, using the meter. He finally relented, and I bargained down to Rs. 200. I was actually quite angry that he had tried to rip me off by so much, so I called Chandrana, one of the ladies at the Swayam office, to ask how much I should pay. She suggested around Rs. 150. I don’t know why I was taking my anger out on that poor driver, but I was quite mad. On the way home he stopped at a petrol station, and wanted me to give him the whole fare to buy petrol. I gave him half and said I would give him the other half when we got to the house. He tried to reassure me that I had nothing to fear. I was not to be moved. I had this irrational anger towards most Indian men, after my experience at Jaipur, <, and with the travel agent, that I was ready to commit murder. Poor taxi driver! He got me safely to Saptaparni, and I gave him his remaining Rs. 100. I went upstairs where Naran met me, and then I had lunch and took a nap. I didn’t unpack, except to remove the most essential things out and to remove the dirty clothes to be washed. Later that evening I called Anu to let her know I had arrived.I went into the office the next day. The 16 days of awareness campaign had started, so that afternoon I went with the staff to Metiabruz, a locale in Kolkata with a predominantly Moslem population. It was an outreach program, with a film show and a poster exhibition. It was quite nice. On our way back I entertained Anindita and Kakali with my renditions of some Hindi movie songs and with the few phrases I had learnt.

On Wednesday the 29th there was a picture exhibition opened at Gorky Sadan, titled “Women Struggle, Women Resist”, also part of the awareness campaign going on. I didn’t go in to the office because I wanted to work on my AAUW application, which was due on Friday 1 December. On Thursday the 30th of November I went into the office and sent in my AAUW application. In the afternoon I went to Gorky Sadan with the staff to view the picture exhibition and to watch a play mounted by a Bangladeshi team that had arrived to work with Swayam on the 16 days of activism activities. Later that evening we went to Oxford Bookstore for a painting exhibition titled “SHE”, held by Anita Gurbaxani, a painter who wanted to donate the proceeds of the painting show to Swayam.

On Friday I came into the office late, to find the office locked. On the elevator ride down from the apartment, the operator had told me that there was a bandh (strike) in effect. The roads were eerily silent for Kolkata, but that was because most buses and taxis were parked as part of the strike, against the land at Singur being given to Tata motors to use for one of their plants. I was able to get into the office as the security guy and Ganesh were present. I called Jagati and she explained to me that people couldn’t make it to the office because they couldn’t get transportation. Taking advantage of the quiet, I did a few things on the internet. Later on Saswati, Anu and Gargee also came into the office. From there we left for the Seagull Media house, where there was another picture exhibition titled “Visible Work, Invisible Women.” It was a pretty moving exhibition, and I would like to own some of those pictures. The stories they tell are quite depressing. I met this French lady called Charlotte, who is working with the French Association here in Kolkata. She gave me her card and phone number, and asked me to call her if I wanted to hang out. I had met Anindita’s fiancé the day before at Gorky Sadan, and he gave me a lift home as he lived near Saptaparni. Today I watched “Dil Chahta Hai” which was a bit different from most of the Hindi movies I had seen. I wasn’t too sure what to make of it, though it was still pretty nice.

The office was open from morning on Saturday morning, but I woke up in an absolutely foul mood, and when I got to the office they could tell. I don’t know why I was so mad at the world. Anyway, there was a panel discussion at Gorky Sadan on “Women and State Violence”. It was an okay presentation, except for the man who was a historian and therefore spoke for too long. I left with Anamitra to go see a seamstress about a few things. When I got back home I watched “Rang De Basanti” a very moving, and well done film. I decided not to watch it again the next day because it was way too emotionally draining. It was nothing like most of the movies I had already seen, but it had a pretty huge impact on me, so much so that Twum asked me what was wrong with me when he called me that evening. He said I sounded sad.

The next day, Sunday, we had a panel presentation on “Time Men Act to Stop violence” at Gorky Sadan, featuring Bharat (from Vishakha in Jaipur), Ruchira (a lecturer at the law school) and Rahul Bose, a Bollywood actor. Later that evening, Rahul Bose had an interactive discussions with students at Oxford Bookstore and I took a few pictures.

8th week in India

Week 7 (Monday 20th November – Sunday 26th November, 2006): Jaipur-Delhi-Agra and the Radjani Express Train to Kolkata

Pictures: The first one is of me and Karen, with some girls we met at the Shiva Temple in Jaipur. Next is the palace in Jaipur where one of the Maharajas kept his 365 wives. This is followed by a picture of the whole city of Jaipur from Amber Palace, then, me at the Shiva Temple, and me at Qutb Minar in Delhi.

On Monday I went to Anju’s house to do laundry. I sat there and waited for the laundry to be washed and dried. I actually thought I had to do it by hand, so I had bought some soap, but it turned out that she had a washing machine, so her overseer, Hemlal, did the washing for me. He hung them out on the drying line for me, and I worked on the report for Aasra while waiting. I also had lunch with them. I went into town and booked a room in Jaipur Inn, and also attended to some business with Bank of America (they had put a hold on my credit card).

The next day I went back to Mrs. Mathur’s place to give her the report. I had it on my USB drive, so I transferred it to her computer, along with some pictures I had taken while performing the survey. She had made some type of biryani for me, since I had told her that I liked that very much. It was very nice of her. I took some pictures with her and her family, and then Mr. Ahmed took me Kishangarh to catch a bus to Jaipur. It was a local bus, so I paid half the price I would have paid if I had taken an air-conditioned bus.

At the Jaipur bus station, I bought a ticket to go for the Jaipur by night tour organized by the RTDC, and got myself a rickshaw to take me to Jaipur Inn (where I was staying) and then to the RTDC hotel where I would join the tour. I met three French tourists, one girl from Hong Kong, and another guy from Germany on this tour. The funny thing was that apart from the Hong Kong girl, Bess, who was leaving by train that night, all the others were also staying at Jaipur Inn. The tour was nothing spectacular, though the view of Jaipur from Nahargarh Fort was amazing. After the tour we walked home together, and that was fun. I was hoping Twum could call me in my hotel room, but it turned out that the hotel phones were all internal (just like at Hotel Chitvan), so I didn’t get to chat with Twum. :(


The French tourists left the next morning, and Matthias and I went for the day long tour of Jaipur, also organized by the RTDC. On the tour bus, we met Karen, a lovely lady from Australia, and two cousins, Nikhil and Sid, from Karnataka and Hyderabad, respectively. We spent most of the tour together, taking pictures and having lunch together. It was a lot of fun. Matthias left by train for Bikaner that evening, and I went back to the hotel exhausted.

The next day I checked out of the hotel, and decided to do a bit of shopping before leaving for Delhi. I had asked Twum to send me some money via Moneygram, and I also went to visit a DV organization called Vishaka, based in Jaipur. After doing all this, I wanted to check email, so I asked the auto driver to take me to an internet café. Next to the café was a clothing and jewelry store, so I went in there to see what they had. I got some scarves and a sari as gifts for the ladies I work with, and made an outfit (skirt and top) for myself. If that was all, I would have been happy. While I was there, one of the workers had telephoned the owner of the store to tell them that a black woman had come to his store, so after I had been there for almost an hour, the owner arrived. I have to give it to him, he was pretty smooth. He came in and chatted with me, and then he started saying some things that just baffled me. He said I had honest eyes, and I thought that was a nice compliment, so I said thank you. He then said I gave him a good feeling. I thought that just like my honest eyes, he meant he felt I could be trusted or something like that. That was NOT the good feelings he was talking about. It turned out that he wanted to know me biblically, and when I told him I was married and in no way interested in his offer, he said “who knows why we have met today. You give me good feelings, so maybe we just have tonight.” Ha!! Sounds like a line from a cheesy movie, no? LOL! He said he would give me a hotel to stay in, give me a milk bath and oil massage, and take me out to dinner. Sounds pretty tempting huh? Yeah, if that was the only thing he was offering. Initially I thought he was kidding, but the man sure wasn’t. I left quite disappointed and feeling a little grimy from all the stuff he had said. I went back to the Jaipur Inn, got a bus ticket to Delhi at the station, and then went off to Hotel Pearl Palace to visit Karen, the lady from Australia. We went to the rooftop restaurant there and had dinner. We also met a lovely Irish lady who was traveling around India for two months, and we joined her for dinner. As the night wore on, one of the waiters came to me and said I had a phone call. Now THAT was weird, seeing that A) Pearl Palace wasn’t my hotel and B) no one knew I had come to Pearl Palace. If anything, I thought it was the people at Jaipur Inn telling me to come for my bags. It wasn’t. It was Mr. Khan, the grimy store owner. Everything took on a dreamlike quality right there. How the hell did he know where to find me? Simple answer: The auto rickshaw driver had reported my whereabouts to him. I don’t know if he was meant to keep tabs on me or something, but there had been another driver in the auto I was in, who had also been present at the store. I think he was the one who did the reporting. What did Mr. Khan want? To reiterate his intentions and let me know that his offer still stood, and would stand for a year, two years, ten years if need be. Oh my, what a TEMPTING offer!! (please read with in a sarcastic voice). I was shaken, and a little fearful. I went back to the table with Karen and the other lady and asked them to guess who had just called me. Karen was on point. She said that she wasn’t surprised, as the man could have paid the auto driver who tagged along, to give him the information. I stayed at Karen’s till around 11pm, then I got the hotel owner Mr. Singh (really nice man) to get me a reliable auto rickshaw, as it was pretty late. I got back to my hotel around 11:15pm, checked email, then got my bags. My bus was at 12:15am.

When I got to the bus station I drew a lot of stares (what else is new?), but I was too tired to care. I met a lively lady from Mizuram, in the northeastern part of India. I initially thought she as a foreigner, but it turns out that people from that part of India have the Mongolian look common to China< and Tibet, than the Aryan look that most Indians have. She was working at a Christian mission in Jaipur, and was off to meet her husband and mother-in-law in Delhi. We ended up on the same seats also (everytime I’ve done the Delhi-Jaipur trip, I end up on the front row, on seat number 1 or 2. It’s quite odd). I kept her up with my chattering, then finally apologized and left her to sleep. I called my parents to let them know what I was up to, then finally fell asleep. It was nice traveling at night by bus. We got to Delhi around 6am, and I got an auto rickshaw to take me to my hotel, H.K. Choudary guest house. I had to bang on the door a few times before the people woke up to let me in. I basically just made it into the room, changed my clothes and then fell asleep.

I woke up around noon, ordered breakfast, then got ready to go tour Delhi. When I got downstairs the owner of the hotel was there, and he said they had a travel agency I could go to. Big mistake! When I got there, the person in charge whipped out a calculator, asked me what kind of thing I was looking for, punched in a few numbers, and then told me he could organize a tour of Delhi, a personalized trip to Agra and back, and a trip to the train station for Rs. 7000. LOL! I told him I didn’t have that kind of money. He did a few deductions and brought up Rs. 5500. I told him that honestly, that wasn’t what I was looking for. I was just looking for the organized bus tours to Agra and back. He finally saw that I wasn’t some rich tourist out to gallivant about India,and gave me the package for Rs. 1900. I thought it sounded good and agreed to it. My own stupidity sometimes amazes me.

I got a car with my own driver to take me around Delhi. What they failed to mention was that it wasn’t by any means a guided tour. The driver basically took me to the place, dropped me there and waited for me to take as many pictures as I wanted, then took me to the next place. No history, no explanation, no nothing. I was sorely disappointed and a little put out. To piss me off even more, we only went to four places: The president’s house/parliament house, India Gate, Humayun Tomb and Qutb Minar. When I asked why, the driver said that there was a Sikh protest going on, so most roads were blocked, and I couldn’t go anyway. Right! When I got back to the Connaught PI area where my hotel was located, I wanted to buy a shirt to wear on my Agra trip as everything I had was a little dirty. I found a Kashmiri store that sold some nice shirts. As I was about to leave, the man who was helping me took me upstairs to look at their shawls. There I found that they had a lot of lovely bangles, and I spent a large amount of time looking through them. I purchased a few, and the shirt I wanted, and went back to the hotel. I ordered dinner of mixed vegetables, half Tandoori chicken, and some roti. It was lovely! AND, to top it off, the hotel had cable, and one of the channels had Mr. and Mrs. Smith on. So I ate my lovely dinner and watched Brangelina do their thing on TV. Then Twum called and we chatted for a loooooooong time, so I didn’t get to bed till 1am.

My trip to Agra was starting at 6am Saturday morning. I was up at 5:30am to get myself ready. I was quite tired, but I did my best. The top I had bought didn’t fit….seems to happen to me a bit here in India…I’m a little “broad in the chest” compared to most Indian women. I had to wear the same green shirt I had worn the day before, as it was the cleanest of my tops. A guy from the travel agency had arrived to take me to the bus, on a MOTORBIKE!! They are the rage in India, but I never thought I’d have to ride one. As it was still pretty early in the day, there wasn’t that much traffic on the road and it wasn’t too scary. It was pretty cool actually. We made it to the bus stand safely (thank God!!), and we had to wait for about forty five minutes before the bus itself arrived. I think out of the almost 30 people on the bus, only five of us were women. Before the bus took off, the conductor tried to move me from my seat to the back, and I protested pretty vehemently. What the….! Anyway, we set off for Agra and made a pit stop at this wayside restaurant around 9am. I had never seen so many flies in one place!! Ewww! I ordered a cup of coffee with butter toast. It should have been called butter with toast. The toast was mad oily, as if the bread had been added as an afterthought. LOL! Hey, it was safer than ordering an unknown Indian dish. I’m as adventurous as the next person, but not when I’m traveling to a tourist destination and I don’t know anything about the toilet facilities available.

We got to Agra around 1pm. A guide materialized from somewhere and told us we were going to Agra Fort first. When we got down, I told him that I knew that the ticket for the Taj Mahal could be used at Agra Fort and a few other places. He said that was not true. I quietly paid the Rs. 300 and went to see the fort, took a few pictures and got asked to take pictures with other people. You could see the Taj Mahal from Agra Fort. It was pretty cool. I hung out with this couple, a Kashmiri man and his Finnish wife. When we left Agra Fort, the guide said we would go visit the Baby Taj and then break for lunch. We didn’t make it to Baby Taj. He took us to a restaurant where we had lunch, then told us we were going to stop at a government emporium. We wasted time at this so-called government emporium, where people tried to force us to buy miniature versions of the Taj Mahal, and shoes made from camel and buffalo leather. Too much!! When we finally left for the Taj Mahal, it was almost 4:30pm. He told us we had seventy minutes at the Taj. Hahahahah…I scoff at him in retrospect. The line was long, and we had to wait a long time in order to get in, because they conducted security searches of people going in. And…I was right about the tickets. The Taj ticket cost Rs. 750, but it included access to Agra Fort, Fatehpur Sikri and two other places. Mr. Guide had supposedly pocketed our money. Whether he had or not, I wanted my money back. I didn’t enjoy being at the Taj Mahal very much, but I got some good pictures.

By the time everyone got back to the bus, it was past 7pm, going on 8pm. I fell asleep almost as soon as I sat down, because I was pretty tired. The guide had disappeared (predictably!). I was quite mad at this point. When I woke up, we had turned into another town, Mathura, where Krishna is supposed to have lived. We first stopped to go see the main temple. I didn’t want to go so I stayed behind. I decided to find some food around the area, so I got down from the bus. One of the guys on the bus who had stayed behind offered to walk with me, and we found a food seller who sold idli and dosa. I eaten either idli or dos, but I was encouraged to try them, and they were okay. As I was eating, this man started talking to me about sex, about what I did when my husband wasn’t around….I mean, it was hard to see why he was asking those questions or talking about that subject in particular. I’ve found that I’m too polite and too respectful. I should have shut him up plain and simple, without beating about the bush. I tried to steer the conversation on to safer things, to his wife and children and what they did, but he kept coming back to sex. It was quite disgusting. Then, he asked me where I was staying in Delhi. I told him that I was staying in one of the hotels in Delhi. He then asked if I wanted to sit by him for the remainder of the trip. I quickly said that I wanted to sleep, so it was unnecessary for me to move, and that I was having a good conversation with the guy who was sitting by me. He then offered me some rum. What!!?? Once we got near the bus, I quickly detoured into another store so I didn’t have to be in his company any longer, wondering how I seemed to attract such weird people. After buying an apple drink, I went back to the bus, which was ready to depart.

I thought we would head for Delhi then. Wrong. We went to another place that had a Krishna temple, supposedly in Krishna’s house. This time I went and joined the couple I had met earlier, quickly explaining to them what had happened. When I pointed out who the man was, they told me that he and his buddies had been drinking rum and smoking on the bus. When we got to this Krishna temple, they tried to get us to donate money. I was fed up by then, it was past 10pm, and even the people in that area had gone to bed already! Once we got to the bus I realized I needed to pee, but there were no toilet facilities available. Tulli’s husband went with me to the back of a house, and there I squatted in the dark and did my thing. I felt tired and dirty, and couldn’t wait to get back to Delhi. On our way back we stopped at a wayside restaurant again, and didn’t make it to Delhi till after 2am. Then, the driver dropped me somewhere in Connaught place, nowhere near my hotel. Some auto drivers milling around came to my aid, but I ignored them. One of them was however persistent, and said he would take me to my hotel at no cost, because it wasn’t safe for me to be walking around alone. I made him swear to God that he was being honest, and he took me straight to the hotel. Anything could have happened, I know, but my options were pretty limited at that time. I paid him though, Rs. 20 for his help. I again had to wake the hotel staff up as they were already closed.

I made it to my room and fell asleep, waking up around noon again. I ordered breakfast, and got ready to check out. Since I was checking out after noon, I had to pay for half a day in addition to the two days that I had already paid for. They asked me how I was getting to the train station, and I said the guy at the travel agency was sending someone for me. They called him up to check, and he said it wasn’t part of the deal. Imagine my surprise and annoyance! I told him that he had said it was part of the package. He spoke to the hotel staff and asked them to arrange a rickshaw for me, which is how I got to the train station. On my way there, I got the auto driver to stop at an Airtel store so I could top up my phone. I found my way to the station, asked for directions about my train, and went to wait on the platform for a while. The train arrived on time, and we left on time also.

I met this lovely girl called Lina and we chatted for a while, and watched Kal Ho Naa Ho. I was in 3AC (AC car with three beds per side). It was at the train station that I realized how much Mr. Khan (grimy Jaipur store owner) had ripped me off. He also had a travel agency, and I had bought my train ticket from there as I wasn’t sure how the train system worked. They had booked the train ticket online, which I could have done myself, and then charged me Rs. 615 in commission charges. That could have paid for one night in a hotel and for dinner!! I sent him an angry SMS message as I had his business card, expressing my disappointment and anger. I would have felt better calling him and insulting him, but I didn’t want to give him that pleasure. Anyway, the train ride was nice, we got good tasty food, and we made it to Kolkata about an hour later than scheduled on Monday morning, but I was just happy to be in Kolkata!

7th week in India

Week 6 (Monday 13th November – Sunday 19th November, 2006): In Rajasthan

The next day (Monday) I went for lunch at Mrs. Mathur’s place, where I met her parents, her maternal uncle, and Akshay. It was a lovely lunch. From there Mrs. Mathur (Anju) took me to the MDS University in Ajmer, where she works as a guest lecturer from time to time. Some of the students there had volunteered for Aasra, so she wanted me to meet them, and to ask some of them to accompany me to the villages I would be visiting.

The next day I had to be ready to be picked up around 8:30am, by my own auto rickshaw, with Mr. Junma Ahmed as my driver. LOL! We picked up two students Bhim Singh and Devendra, who went with us to the first village, Chachiyawas. We met up with Hemraj, who lives in that particular village and attends MDS. I met some lovely people there, such as Kamala, the kindergarten teacher. We were able to interview 12 people before we had to leave, as the boys had classes starting at 1pm. I also took a few pictures. I made Mr. Ahmed take me to town, where I checked email, and made extra copies of the questionnaire I needed. We went to Chachiyawas the next day also, and this time we had two more students join us, Gopal and Lavesh. Lavesh loved to sing, so he sung the songs from Kal Ho Naa Ho and other popular songs for me. At the village a group of women were so enchanted by me and they asked me to dance. They wanted me to stay overnight. All of them also kept offering me a lot of food. One of the young ones asked me why I didn’t use makeup, and actually brought out lipstick and eyeshadow to put on me. I had to show her my makeup case and explain to her that I wasn’t big on makeup. One of the ladies actually commented that they were poor but they had big hearts, which was clearly apparent from how they were all making me feel welcome and offering me food and inviting me into their homes.

I was a big hit at the hotel. For one, I was the only permanent guest, as most people only stopped there for a night to rest from driving. I made friends with most of the staff, particularly the manager, Manjeet Singh, and the head waiter, Morsingh. We had fun chatting every night at dinner, and they kept teasing me, because for the first three days I had the same thing, Mixed Vegetable Korma with roti or nan. Morsingh suggested that I try Navratan Korma, which is a sweeter version of Mixed Veg, so I kept alternating those two. I also asked them to teach me a few Hindi phrases, so that’s where I picked up most of my Hindi lingo.

The students couldn’t make it on Thursday, Friday or Saturday, so I was left to my own devices. I made Mr. Junma take me out sightseeing in Ajmer on Thursday. After the sightseeing, where a few people had asked to take pictures with me (seeing that I’m the new attraction in town..LOL!), I went back to the hotel to find the place being decorated for a party. I was having dinner when the party started. Some of the children at the party noticed me sitting in the other room and came to sit there and stare. I started chatting with them, asking their names and how they were in Hindi, and we became fast friends. I asked them if they wanted to dance with me and they said yes, so I went to bring down my laptop and we dance to the songs on “Kal Ho Naa Ho.” Their older sisters came to join us some time later, and we talked about Shah Rukh Khan and other good movies they had watched. We also talked about school, and what I was doing here in India>. They wrote down their names for me, with their phone numbers and email addresses. Piyasha’s mother actually asked me to join the party, but I declined, because I felt odd bursting in on a family gathering. She also brought me some food, but I told her that I had just eaten. I felt bad because I thought it was a bit rude to be refusing everything they were giving. When they were leaving, one of them, Piyasha, told me not to forget her. How sweet is that?!!

I stayed in the hotel on Friday and Saturday and was bored out of my wits. I had watched and rewatched the movies I had with me, and since the hotel was so far from town, I couldn’t check email or walk around at my own leisure. By Saturday night I was ready to commit a crime…hehehe. Thankfully Sunday came quickly and I went to the village with four other guys. Lavesh and Hemraj were the only ones I had worked with before. I had three new guys, PunyaVardhan, Salim and Praveen. We interviewed 100 people in total, and left the village. I decided then and there that I would leave for Jaipur on Tuesday. My original plan was to stay in Ajmer and do the same survey in antoher village, Chatri, but I was tired of being alone in the hotel. Mrs. Mathur had invited me to dinner that evening, so I was looking forward to that, and to also tell her that I was leaving.

It turned out that the dinner was actually a wedding dinner in honor of Zulficar and his new bride, hosted by Mr. Khan, who is Zulficar’s uncle (I think). I met so many nice people there, including a man who had lived with Amitabh Bachchan in Kolkata when they were younger. One of the men gave me lemonade with gin and bitters. Very soon I found myself singing “Kal Ho Naa Ho” to a rapt audience. LOL! When I was done, they asked me for a song from Ghana, so I sung Kojo Antwi’s “Dadi Anoma” and translated it for them. They enjoyed it. The food was also lovely, tasty, and very peppery! Hahaha! It was a lovely night all in all. I told Anju that I would be leaving on Tuesday, and asked if I could come do laundry in her house the next day.

6th week in India

Week 5 (Monday 6th November – Sunday 12th November, 2006) : India-trotting

I had planned to leave Kolkata for good this week. I went to purchase a few Hindi movies and some gifts for my family. I met this odd guy in front of Music World (the DVD store). At first he appeared as lost as I was, but then he claimed he had his own software company in Washington DC, and that he had been visiting his grandfather’s house here, and was a little lonely. He got my phone number, and sent me an SMS message ten minutes after I had left him. He sent me another one a few minutes later. Then he called me also. I was a little worried by then. Then he sent me a text saying I shouldn’t worry because he wasn’t weird. Hahahha!!!


As I had already bought so much stuff for my family and friends, I wanted to mail them before I left. The next day (Wednesday) I went to the DHL office to send the things to my family. After I had left the office, I got a phone call from this same guy from the day before (I think his name is Rony) and he asked me where I was. I asked him why, and he said he could see me, that he was behind me. It was one of the creepiest moments of my life. He said he just happened to be doing something in a building near the DHL office, and that I shouldn’t think he was following me or anything of the sort. HA!!!

I also had to resolve the matter of my ticket to Jaipur. What was I going to do in Jaipur, you may ask? And what the hell is Jaipur? LOL! Jaipur is a lovely city in the Indian state of Rajasthan, and I was flying there so I could get to Ajmer a smaller town also in that same area. I was going to visit an organization called Aasra, that worked with rural women and girls, and led the drive for increase in female literacy. One of the founders works with my dad, and he suggested that I go up there since I was in India. I was also getting a little tired of being in the same place so I wanted to move. However, all those plans were modified a few days before I left for Jaipur. I was informed of a conference, the India Social Forum (ISF) in New Delhi.Delhi is about six hours by bus from Jaipur. Everyone I spoke to said it would be a good experience, and a nice way to meet other organizations working against domestic violence across the country. I changed my flight date from Saturday to Thursday, booked a hotel in Delhi (which was pretty expensive), and got ready to leave.

The flight, on Kingfisher Airlines, to Jaipur was wonderful. As always, the food on the various Indian airlines is to die for. I got to Jaipur around 2pm and decided to take the bus to Delhi immediately, especially since I hadn’t booked a hotel in Jaipur. I called the manager at my Delhi hotel and asked if I could come in a day earlier. She agreed, so I got a taxi to Jaipur bus station. The city is quite lovely. It’s called the pink city because sometime in the 1800s ( I think) the Maharaja at the time painted it pink to welcome a member of the British Royal family, because pink is the color of hospitality in that culture. Anyway, on my way to the bus station I saw my first camel. I was beyond myself!! Even though Jaipur is such a lovely city with a lot of modern accoutrements, camels, cattles and horses vie for space on the main streets along with cars, motorcycles and rickshaws.

I got to Delhi around 10pm, and haggled with an autorickshaw driver, who agreed to take me to my hotel (City Center Hotel) for half the original price. I checked in, ate some crackers and went to bed. I got up the next day and found my way to the Jawaharlal Nehru stadium where the ISF was taking place. I walked around pretty aimlessly for a while, then made my way to the place where the event on the new Protection against Domestic Violence Bill was being held. I saw Anu (Swayam’s director) there, but she didn’t stay too long. The event was pretty disappointing. Let me explain. It started out with the organizers leading the group in a song. I couldn’t sing it, but I enjoyed it. I was also happy that there were men as well as women at the event. There were also other foreigners in addition to me. After that, the main speaker asked how many people understood only English, and there were only two of us. Thus, she suggested that people sitting next to us translate from Hindu to English. That worked out for a little while, but as always, you know that a lot is being left out when something is being translated. We finally moved to another tent as more people had come for the event. There other people came whose first language was not Hindi. As such, each speaker had to speak first in Hindi and then in English. I quickly realized that it might be a bit of a problem for me to attend programs if they were all going to be conducted in Hindi.

When I left the ISF, I felt a little despondent, but I resolved to shake that feeling off and enjoy myself. I stood at the stadium gates for a while but couldn’t stop an auto-rickshaw because there were so many people also hoping to catch one. I decided to cross over to the other side to see if my luck would be better there. It wasn’t. Then a random man stopped near me in his white private car and asked me to get in. Okay, he said it in Hindi, but I could tell from his gestures that he wanted me in the car. I declined politely and walked off. To my surprise he followed me in the car. I ignored him and kept walking. He stopped the car, got out to pee on the side of the road, and then kept pressuring me to get in the car. I kept walking, he drove slowly behind me. I couldn’t take it anymore, so I crossed the street to the other side. Luckily, a kind Sikh auto-rickshaw wallah saw me and stopped for me. His name was Titu. He was such a blessing in disguise. He could speak good English (not that speaking Hindi or Bengali is bad, but it made it easier for me to communicate with him), and he took me to a fruit stand and a good place to get mughlai food to go. The food was very good and the price was also quite reasonable, for Delhi. I stayed up late watching movies on TV (the hotel had cable…I watched this movie called “Bunty & Babli. I think it was some kind of Bonnie and Clyde story.) and on my computer.

The next day I got to the campgrounds around 3pm, in time for the program I wanted to participate in, but it was all in Hindi. My disappointment was so heavy I felt I was being crushed under it. I bought some gifts from the stands at the forum and left for my hotel. I decided then and there that I would leave for Ajmer the next day (Sunday).

I took the 9:30am bus from Delhi to Jaipur. Our bus broke down fifteen minutes away from Jaipur, and we had to flag another bus down. At the Jaipur station I met an Indian guy, Rahul, who had been living in Nigeria for the past 12 years. It was quite cool, especially because his English definitely had the Nigerian intonation. LOL! He wanted my number but I got his instead, and left on the bus for Ajmer.

I got to Ajmer 6:30pm. I didn’t know what hotel I was in and where it was located, so I had to call Mrs. Mathur to ask. It was Hotel Chitvan, and it was about 10km from the town center. The rickshaw wallahs I asked didn’t know where it was and kept insisting on other hotels. I finally found one who knew where it was, and we set off after haggling over the price. I couldn’t breathe a sigh of relief yet though. The hotel WAS quite far from town, and as we went farther and father from town I got a little scared. I think the rickshaw driver was also a little worried, because he kept stopping to ask for directions. Finally we saw the hotel sign, and I breathed a little easier. At the hotel I met Zulficar, a friend of Akshay Mathur (the guy who works with my dad.). He had actually just gotten married, which is why Akshay had come to India.He helped me settle into my room. And that was my first night in Ajmer.

PS: The camel picture was taken in Jaipur, and the other two were at the ISF program in New Delhi.

5th week in Kolkata, Delhi, Jaipur

4th week: Monday 30th October 2006 – Sunday 5th November 2006 – As the days go by

Monday I got to see the music and theatre groups of Swayam in rehearsal. The two groups are preparing for the 16 days of activism, from 25 November to 10 December, when Swayam and other organizations in India and around the world celebrate Women’s Rights and Human Rights days. I even took pictures and took videos of the rehearsals. I was staying late at work so I could go to the café to call STA travels about my return ticket to the UK. One of the women, Chandrani, had a son who was born on 25 December, and so was called “Jesus” at home. How funny is that!

Anindita had left me with three reports to read and edit, as they were going to be compiled into the annual report for 2005-2006. I also got the contact information for some organizations in the area who were working in domestic violence, so I called them and scheduled appointments to visit them. On Tuesday I went in work and worked on the reports. Swayam had a workshop for mothers with adolescent children, with a consultant who works with adolescents. They also had a career consultant come in to chat/confer with some of the clients. I was sneezing a lot during the day, and it got worse once I got to the internet café and felt the full blast of the AC. Every time I sneezed I felt it through my whole body, like little pinpricks. I took some Nyquil after dinner, and decided not to go to work on Wednesday because I felt tired and drowsy.

On Wednesday I called Swayam to let them know that I wasn’t coming in, and also called one of the organizations I was going to visit, to cancel the appointment. I stayed and mostly slept. On Thursday I went to visit in to the office, and then left to visit Shramajivee Mahila Samity (Working Women’s organization), an organization that works with rural communities and women on the issue of domestic violence and women’s rights. They are located in the suburbs of Kolkata, and it took me about an hour and a half to two hours to get there by bus. People’s reaction to me was worse than it had been in the main city. Three little boys followed me with some incense sticks, the bravest one trying to talk to me, trying to get one rupee from me, and just basically rambling on in Bengali. When they got tired they left me alone. A man on a motorbike also stopped by me and shook my hand. Another man stepped in my path and asked where I was from. I finally found the Rasoraj, the sweet shop that was the landmark I was supposed to look out for, and went in to ask for directions. I showed them the address I had been given, and they called a cycle rickshaw to take me there. It as my first time on a cycle rickshaw, and it was quite a lot of fun.

When I arrived at the offices of Shramajivee, I was taken in to see Anuradha, who seems to be one of the head honchos there. She was very nice, and said that it was pretty rare to have visitors from the South visiting (economic South i.e. another developing country), so they were all pretty excited. I did an informal interview with her, and they invited me to have lunch with them. It was basic Bengali fare, I guess, of rice, Dal and some vegetables (okra and egg plant I think). They also ordered a dessert of sweet curd and chondish (made from cottage cheese) as a branch of Rasoraj was located right opposite their premises. The sweet curd was VERY sweet. Apparently it’s a typical Bengali dessert. Anuradha introduced me to some of the staff there, and I met this nice lady who is an activist. They said that it would be nice for me to visit one of the villages they work in, so they would see what they could arrange before I leave.

I took another cycle rickshaw from the office, and this was even more interesting. The man was over the moon to have me in his rickshaw, that he kept tooting his horn for no apparent reason. He even stopped at a corner shop to show me off, but the person he was looking for wasn’t around. He kept pointing out different buildings like banks and hospitals out to me, like he was giving me a tour. I think he just wanted to practice his English on me. He asked me where I was from and I said Ghana, but then he would scream out to other rickshaw drivers he met that I was from Nigeria, and I would have to correct him and say Ghana. LOL! Once we got on the main road, he actually stopped pedaling and came to sit by me, while screaming for someone to take a picture of him with me. It was pretty amusing, although it could have gotten annoying if I had been in a bad mood. (He wasn’t able to get the picture taken, unfortunately.)

On the main road I got a bus pretty easily and settled in for the long trip back to the center of the city. Once I got down at Gariahat Junction, I saw that there were a lot of stalls for shopping. I got some kurtas (long shirts for men) for my dad and Twum, and a salwar kameez for a friend. I also got some earrings for another friend. I got back to Ballygunge Phari by auto rickshaw, and went into the internet café for an hour before heading home.

On Friday I called Gana Unnayan Parshad, the organization I had canceled on, and made another appointment for Monday. I also called STIC travels to book a ticket for Jaipur, as I’ll be leaving at the end of next week. The lady got me a ticket for Sunday 12 November and told me it would cost Rs. 4336. Later that evening there was an Adda at Swayam. This was an opportunity for all the women who use Swayam to meet for relaxation and entertainment. They played music and danced, and got me to dance with them. The women were also served egg rolls (I got to have one. Amazing!!), with some dessert. It was pretty good. I left with some of the women, and got to walk with two of them, Chandrani and Indrani, who are pretty frequent visitors to Swayam, and are also members of the music group. Chandrani is the mother of Jesus. The two of them talked about how Swayam was their everything, and how the staff at Swayam had helped them when they didn’t have anyone. It was a pretty touching testimony to the good work that Swayam is doing. They got me to eat a wayside snack (I know I shouldn’t have) that was this puffed fried bread that was filled with a potato mix and some type of flavored water. It was pretty nice, but I knew that I would have a running tummy later that night or tomorrow morning. LOL! I had to go back to Gariahat Junction to exchange one salwar kameez for another, so Indrani went with me. From there I went to the internet café for about an hour and then went home.

On Saturday the office was open from 10am to 2pm. I had stayed up till 3am chatting with Twum, so I didn’t get in to the office till noon. Anindita and Sashuti are going with some of the women from Swayam to Kalimpong (ten hours away by train) for an outstation workshop. I left after 2pm with Jagati, one of the staff there. She put me on a bus bound for Camac Street, where the STIC office is located. When I got there, the lady there told me that my ticket would cost Rs. 10,940. Goodness! I absolutely refused to pay that! I told them that I had seen on their website that students with the ISIC card could get a flight from Kolkata to Jaipur for Rs. 5117 on Kingfisher Airlines. The lady said she didn’t think so, that it was only for Indian students. She called another staff member to look into it, and after about thirty minutes, I was told that I was right, and that I could get that ticket. They wanted me to pay all that upfront, and I told them I didn’t have all that money, because I had come prepared to pay Rs.4336. I gave them Rs. 5000, and got a receipt for that. They said they would have my ticket ready by Monday afternoon, so I should call them then. I was not happy at all, and I left feeling pretty deflated.

I saw a Punjab government store opposite the STIC office, so when I left I went in there to look at what they had. They had lots of jewelry, bags, clothes and a host of other things. I just wanted jewelry for a friend, and some cushion covers to buy. I didn’t have any money on me though. I picked out some cushion covers and letter holders, and some bracelets, and told them I would come back for them when I returned to the STIC office for my ticket. I walked down Camac Street and bought an egg and chicken roll at a fast food stop. I asked two ladies eating there what bus to take to get to Saptaparni, and they asked the cashier of the fast food place. I finally got a number (206) and went to the bus stop to get the bus home when I finished eating. It was not a totally pleasant day.

Sunday I slept in and woke up around 9am. I went for breakfast around 10am, and chatted with Mrs. Sanyal for a while. I came back to my room, exercised and took a shower. I then sat down to write three weeks’ worth of updates. Now I’m on my way out to get lunch, then probably head over to the café to put all these updates up.

3rd week: Monday 23rd- Sunday 29th October 2006 – Finding my rhythm

This week I just mainly went in to work at Swayam. Since Anu had left for her two-week travel to the US for a conference, I just went into the office on Monday and finished typing up my summary of Swayam’s annual report 2004-2005, which gave me a pretty good idea of the kind of work they do. Sometimes I feel that what I’m doing is useless, that I could have done the same thing without flying over here and staying here with them. I could have asked them to mail me their publications and then just written summaries of all of them. I however catch myself whenever I think that, because I am getting to see the world, and to see the daily interactions and day to day work that they do. It’s all nice and groovy on a printed document, but I am appreciating the work more when I see the professionalism and familiarity with which the staff at Swayam deals with each other and with the numerous women they see. I’m also eating pretty good food, and now I own some of their Salwar Kameez outfits, which are pretty groovy. I went with Chandrana to Dakshinapan, a government regulated shopping mall to get some new outfits and gifts for others.

Tuesday and Wednesday were public holidays, so I didn’t need to go in to work. I decided to visit the internet café on Tuesday afternoon, to see if I could download a few shows to watch in the evenings. Oh goodness! What a terrible, absolutely horrendous idea! In order to not get the shows illegally (okay, one particular show: Grey’s Anatomy), I decided to purchase it on iTunes, thinking that since it was a legal connection, it would download faster. Sooooooooooooooo not true. I regretted buying it on iTunes, and felt that I would have gotten the shows faster if I had stuck to my guns. The connection crawled much slower than any snail or slug I’ve come across, and I was there for about six hours. I did get to chat with Twum and some other friends on Skype, Yahoo messenger and Google chat.

I went back to work on Thursday and Friday. It was pretty much me reading, and helping out around the office, and also asking questions of the ladies who worked there. I had been allowed to sit in on two conferences that a lawyer had had with two women, so that was also pretty cool, even though I didn’t understand anything that was going on. These two days passed very quickly and before I knew it, it was the weekend.

On Saturday I took the West Bengal Tourism Company’s tour of Kolkata. I met an Indian guy called Arvind who had gone to MIT for grad school and was now working as a software engineer in Bangalore. He was backpacking through India and had just arrived in Kolkata that morning. He saw that I was in my Amherst Class of 2006 T-shirt, which is how come we got to chatting. We visited a lot of religious sites, like this place at Belur Math, the Kali Temple at Dakshineswar, Kalighat Temple, and St. Paul’s Cathedral. We also visited the house and museum of Netaji Subhas Bose, who was a freedom fighter during World War II, and also the Kolkata Museum. I went to an internet café on the main road for about an hour, bought some Mausambi juice (Mausambi is like the oranges we have in Ghana, but they don’t call them oranges because they have the huge orange-colored oranges here also), and finally made it home, collapsing in an exhausted heap on my bed. I wasn’t feeling too good because we had had lunch late and I hadn’t had enough water to drink.

On Sunday I basically stayed at home for a while, listened to a sermon from Pastor John Wesley of St. John’s, Springfield, MA, did a bit of work-related reading, and then went out for lunch at Café Coffee Day, then headed for the café. After the café, I came home for dinner and went to bed. J

Saturday 21st – Sunday 22nd October, 2006 – Diwali weekend

I’m sitting on the balcony of the 14^th floor apartment where I’m staying with Mrs. Sanyal, and looking out at all the lights people have strung on their buildings in celebration of Diwali, the festival of lights. I am yet to ask what it means. No, let me modify that. I asked this lovely lady at the Airtel phone store what it means, and her explanation was that it was the start of a new business year for most (or all) businesses. Thus, in celebration of this day, all shops and businesses would decorate their premises with lights and religious articles. I think there might be another explanation for it, so I’m waiting to ask Mrs. Sanyal, who is a storehouse of knowledge, seeing that she’s eighty-three years old and counting. Many people started celebrating the Diwali early, throwing firecrackers during the day and the night since last week. I was startled a number of times at the office when I heard loud, cracking (AND booming) noises in the middle of the day. It was later that someone explained to me that people had started celebrating Diwali early.

Chandrana, the mental health consultant at Swayam, asked me what I was doing for Diwali. When I told her I had no plans, she said she would check with her family and see if they were okay with her bringing a guest. She called me on Saturday morning to say that it was fine, that she would come for me at 5pm. I spent most of the day sleeping and then knitting. I had purchased a red and black Salwar Kameez outfit at New market a week ago, so I ironed that and wore that for my visit with Chandrana and her family. They were very lovely.

She came to pick me up with her parents-in-law. We drove through the town to Chandrana and her husband’s apartment, where the mother-in-law got down with us. We went upstairs and had some tea and sweets. I met Chandrana’s husband then, and also looked through their wedding pictures. The mother-in-law was very funny and sweet, and when I told her I liked the food and the outfits, she said she would find me an Indian man to marry. LOL! I told her I was already married, and that also from what I hear, Indian men rarely marry other women who are not Indian. She laughed it off and jokingly said if men married more than one woman, I could also marry more than one man. That woman was a trip! Later on Chandrana and her husband lit some oil lamps, and then we left for her parents’ house. There I met Chandrana’s father, a charming old man who said he had adopted me as his daughter, and I also met her mother, who was ill and was not very talkative while we were there. She has to have round the clock care, so she had a day nurse and a night nurse. While we were visiting the night nurse came in, all dressed up in a very beautiful saree. I took a picture of her.

I then went downstairs with Chandrana, her husband, and two younger girls from the house, to throw firecrackers. It was a lot of fun, and I took a lot of pictures and videos. My favorite was this cracker called “The Butterfly”. When lit, the cracker moves around rapidly, almost looking like a butterfly or moth in flight, and it also changes color. Sometimes it even seems to be following the person who lighted it. Chandrana’s husband lighted one which jumped three stories high!! We later had dinner with chicken patties, salad, and a type of bread that I’ve forgotten the name of. It was a great evening, and I returned feeling both happy and sad.

On Sunday I stayed at home, and then later on when to the internet café for a while. I went to Café Coffee Day, a new hangout place for the youth of Kolkata if they need some coffee and a light snack. I bought a chicken tikka sandwich, which was pretty good, and had it with an iced fruit drink. Pretty okay. I came back home, did a little bit of reading and went to bed. Happy Diwali!

Monday 16th – Friday 20th October, 2006 – In a new place

I moved into Mrs. Sanyal’s apartment on Sunday. It’s just a five minute walk from the Swayam office, so it’s quite convenient. Of course, every time I walk on the street to the office, people stare at me as if I have nine heads. LOL! I am so not used to being the center of attention in this way, being looked at as the foreign person. This week I worked a bit with Anu, who is preparing a presentation for a UNESCO conference in the US. I sat in on a mock run of her presentation and gave her suggestions. I also helped her put in or take out things from the PowerPoint slides. Later on in the week she gave me a semi-annual report to take a look at and edit for her. It was 29 pages single-spaced! That took up quite a bit of my time. I also finished reading the publications Anindita had given me when I first arrived, and made a lot of extensive notes on the articles. It’s now just left for me to type them out. I learnt a lot about the activities of Swayam from reading the report and also from helping Anu with her presentation.

During lunch on Tuesday Anu said that she wanted to taste some Ghanaian food before she left on her trip. She asked me what I could make and I said jollof, so she asked for the ingredients. I thought she was kidding. I left to go to the bank to change some money, and by the time I got back the cook had gone to buy the things I needed. LOL! I started on the stew while Swarmita, one of the caseworkers there, stayed with me and asked questions about what I was doing. I also made a marinade of onions, garlic, ginger, black pepper, salt and some turmeric, and put this on the chicken they had bought (they bought three whole chickens! Luckily for me they had already been cut into smaller pieces). The next morning I wasn’t feeling too well, but I knew I had to go make the lunch, so I went in around 11am. Apparently they had been waiting impatiently for me, so the moment I landed Swarmita and Gargee, another caseworker, pounced on me, saying that they thought I had decided not to come. I went into the kitchen and carried on with preparations. I was cooking for 14 people! That’s almost a party you know. The Swayam staff had one lady come in to help me by chopping the vegetables for me. Of course, as with most jollof I’ve made, the bottom got burnt very quickly. This lady was trying to turn the rice, with the burnt portion too. I got a little pissed at her. I knew she knew how to cook, but because we didn’t understand each other, it was a bit confusing, and I felt it was a little presumptuous of her to just turn my food when I was telling her not to. Anyway, she went to call Swarmita, and I explained to her, and Swarmita basically asked me to ignore her and go about my work, since I knew what the food was supposed to be like. In addition to the rice, I made a stir-fry of potatoes (Aloo), peas, green beans, onions, carrots and green pepper (I steamed the potatoes, and then added the vegetables, along with some salt and black pepper). This was because two of the ladies were vegetarians. I cooked the chicken, and then tossed each piece lightly in a bit of vegetable oil. It all came out pretty beautifully. The staff members totally consumed the jollof. I thought they wouldn’t like it, but they did, and they all asked for the recipes I had used. :) I was muy, muy happy!!

On Thursday I got my Airtel SIM card to use for my cell phone, so I was quite happy. I also found this café at Ballygunge Phari, this big crossroads for four major roads, and I’ve been going there pretty frequently. The man who runs the café was very nice to me the first day I got there. He asked me if I wanted any tea, and got some chai tea for me. He also suggested that I buy this coupon deal where I pay for 10 hours of browsing but get 15 instead. I thought he was being extra nice, but when I mentioned it to Twum, he laughed and said I was reading too much into it. The next few times I went, he offered me tea and biscuits again, and told me he wasn’t well, so I should touch his forehead and see. LOL! We’ll see how this unfolds!

Friday I stayed a little late as Anu was frantically getting things ready before she left. The upcoming weekend was Diwali and Kali Puja. Her son came with the driver to pick her up from the office, and I got to meet him. Anu was quite busy, so I just waited to wish her a safe trip and to say goodbye, before leaving the office. I had initially planned to spend only three weeks at Swayam, but because she was leaving and I wanted to interview her about how she started Swayam, I decided to stay that extra week so I could see her before leaving.

Sunday 15th October, 2006 – Out of the hotel, Finally!

I stayed up all Saturday night, watching TV and then later chatting with Twum from around 6am till 8am when I finally went to bed. I woke up at 11am, so I could check out from Marina Hotel by noon. If I hadn’t, I would have to pay for an extra night. After checking out, I tipped Inam, the security guy, and the quiet guy in the glasses who used to bring my food up when I ordered room service. Inam found me a taxi and the driver took me safely to Saptaparni. At the gate, I had to sign in with the security men, who then called up Mrs. Sanyal to verify that she was expecting me. I asked the driver how much the trip cost, but he didn’t understand me, so I took out my language book and tried to ask how much in Hindu and Bengali. The guy understood Bengali, but I didn’t understand his response, so I called one of the security men for help. The trip cost me Rs. 50.

After getting up to the 14^th floor apartment and putting my luggage in my room, I chatted with Mrs. Kamal Sanyal for quite a while, before having lunch of Dal (a lentil soup), sliced okra, green beans, carp in mustard sauce, boiled rice, and a dessert of rice pudding with almonds, and shortbread-like cookies. I also learnt how to make rice pudding (by mouth). The trick is to cook the rice in the milk, instead of boiling it in water and then later adding the milk. J I was quite tired as per my all-nighter, so I took a nap, and was woken up at 5:30pm by Naran, the man who works for my host. He gave me water and coffee, and then I went back to bed till 7:30pm.

After waking up I watched a little TV with Mrs. Sanyal, and we talked about the war in Iraq and stuff like that. I told her about the movie Fahrenheit 9/11 and promised her a copy of the movie. I had a lovely dinner of Aloo Paratha (aloo is the name of potato…hehehe! I’m learning some phrases), Raita (Radha, I now understand your love for Raita. This one was really good, and it had all these vegetables in it), pickled mango, pumpkin and onion stir-fry, and custard for dessert. I called Twum and gave him the apartment’s number, and then got ready for bed after taking a shower (as if they knew, my bathroom is all green! Yay!).

So, for those of you worrying about me being all alone in a hotel, you can rest easy now, because I’m living in a lovely place now. I can see almost a third of the city from my windows!!