NiseyGlobeTrotting - Nkukunsaka

It's been a long time coming

2008-11-25T19:44:00.000-08:00

I know it's been quite a while since I wrote anything on this blog. It's been a long exciting year and a half since this blog was updated. I fell sick with an unidentified virus, went to and completed my first year of grad school, attended the wedding of two of my close friends, become pretty close to my in-laws, lived in and fallen in love with the village of Okurase in the Eastern Region, and finally made the move to live with my husband in California. Whew!! So, there's a lot that has happened in my life. I am going to really try (fingers crossed) to keep the notes coming on here. Have a Happy Thanksgiving (for those who celebrate it), and do keep in mind that this holiday also marks some horrible events against the Native Americans. Let's pray that we have all grown and matured enough to learn from the past and NOT repeat such acts of hatred.

Hangin’ Out in the UK

2007-06-25T03:50:00.001-07:00

I left Trinidad for the UK on the 26th of February, a week after Carnival. Twum had come to visit for the Carnival week, and it was nice to see him and spend time with him. I also took part in the Trinidad Carnival, so that was good. I had planned to stay in the UK for about two weeks, getting my Ugandan and South African visas, and making contact with various organizations in both countries. This, did not happen. The organizations in Uganda and South Africa either did not respond, or did not have space for me as they had accepted their quota of interns for the time being, or were working on rape and not domestic violence, etc. In the waiting, I applied for some scholarships to fund my masters program in the fall (I’m still waiting…pray for me), and I baked up a storm! I think I may have made close to five or six pounds of pound cake. I made some chocolate cake and the cheese pound cake. I reconnected with some old friends (Michael Awuye, James Lawson and Victoria Hazel from Morning Star, primary school days, and Elizabeth Yankah from Gey Hey), and also met Kathy’s boyfriend and his friends. We had quite a ball, cooking up a storm and going out to the movies, shopping, and visiting other friends. I also made some new friends.

I also got close to Annabelle, and spent a lot of time with her. One very memorable incident while I was in the UK was on 10th March, when Annabelle and I decided to attend the annual bash to celebrate Ghana’s independence, which was 6th March. (On 6th March we went to Baba’s Foundation to get some food to commemorate the day. I got banku of course! LOL!). This year’s party was huge because Ghana was celebrating 50 years of independence. When we got to the place it was being held, the line was ridiculous. I didn’t have a ticket, and I had to buy one from a lady who was tired of waiting. Annabelle and I stood in line for forever, and then we heard they were allowing people in behind the building, so we went to the back to see what our chances were. They were next to nil. A throng of partygoers, dressed up to the nines in various kente and local cloth combinations, shoulders bare in defiance of the cold weather, were pushing and shoving at this ‘magical’ door. Annabelle and I plunged into this crowd, thinking that we could finally get in. Hahaha! We were shoved and pushed, and I got separated from Annabelle because I got fed up and left the crowd, as people were pushing back and forth, causing this kind of wave effect where you can’t control your body anymore. I did not want to be crushed to death because of this party, thank you very much. ( I know, I know…crushed to death is a little bit much, but I felt I could get badly hurt over there.) I had to call Kathy to get Annabelle’s number, and it turned out that she had also gone out of the crowd to the front of the building, looking for me, while I had exited and stood still at the back of the building. Finally, the police came around in their trucks, announcing on their PA system that the building was closed and no one else would be allowed to enter. I had already sold my ticket by then, and Annabelle also sold hers. We walked down the road, found a bus, and begun the long ride home. We got home around 4am, exhausted, but with nothing to show for it. LOL! Okay, I got something to show for it…a man was selling roti next to the party venue, so to forget my troubles, I bought some roti and munched on it happily. He didn’t have any Sorrel Shandy though, pity. 

When I finally got in touch with two organizations who were willing to have me over, I finalized my ticket, got my Ugandan visa, and got ready to leave. I got to the airport the Sunday I was supposed to arrive, and they said my bags were too heavy and I had to redistribute. I had my trusty jute bag that I had bought in Ajmer, India. I did the redistribution, and went back in line, only to be told that the plane was full. What???!!!! They realized that it was their mistake and booked me on a flight on Tuesday. The Victoria line decided to break down that day, so that a lot of underground stations in Central London had to close. I couldn’t get through. I went to wait for a bus, but because everyone else was also stranded, there was major traffic on the road and the buses were not coming. I finally queued up for a taxi, and Annabelle came to meet me there. We somehow found a way to get to Heathrow, as the stations finally opened up after fixing the problem. It was way too late by then. I called the Emirates Airline and explained the situation to them. They said they would reschedule me for the next day. Annabelle and I went on to the airport to get the change confirmed and to get a new sticker to verify it, and then we took a bus back to East Croydon. The next day, I took that same bus and got to Heathrow safely, checked in, and flew to Uganda, via Dubai. Dubai is lovely, by the way!

Trinidad

2007-06-25T03:45:00.000-07:00

I arrived in Trinidad on 6th January, 2007. I was met at the airport by Dearice, the matron at the shelter. She drove me to the shelter and showed me my room, where I had a table with some biscuits, milk, cereal and tea bags. It was quite nice. I think I fell asleep almost immediately. The next day Dearice prepared some mac and cheese, calalou, chicken and beans for lunch. It was delicious. I also got to meet Trevor, the security man/handyman at the Shelter. I also heard the three dogs who are part of the shelter staff. Dearice had to ran some errands so she took me along. I don’t know how I communicated to Twum and my parents that I had arrived, but somehow I did. The next day, Monday, Liz, who is the fundraising person for the shelter and has an office that is out in town, came to see me. I had slept till late, and she had to leave for her office. Later on I met her older sister, Jen, who works as the Shelter Coordinator. Auntie Jens took me under her wing and took me everywhere she went. We went to get donations of food and linen (bedsheets and towels), and we also went grocery shopping for the shelter. As the days progressed, the shelter gradually filled with women, peaking at nine women and five children. Some left while I was still staying there, and others were still in the shelter when I left.

While at the shelter, I realized how hard it must be to leave your life and everything you’ve had as a constant in your life, and flee to a shelter. It’s not an easy decision to make, especially if you don’t have any financial support or are not working, like some of these women. The shelter had curfew of 6pm when you had to have returned from town, you had to have given prior notice the day before if you wanted to go out, and you couldn’t use your cell phone on the premises. Wake up time was 6am everyday, and lights out was 9pm on weekdays and 10pm on weekends ( I think). The children had different lights out times, and there was also a TV schedule for both the women and the children. Each woman had to take part in the cooking and cleaning of the house in addition to taking care of their children. Of course this would cause some friction, as you have all these people who are used to doing things their own way.

Some days I got to sub for the matrons and supervisors on their day off, and I was in charge of the house, and locking up. It was quite scary. One night the person supposed to relieve the day supervisor was very late in coming, and one of the women had an epileptic fit, causing the day supervisor to be delayed even further till 11pm. It was a scary night. I was not there that day, because I had gone out for a Carnival program with one of the night matrons who was not on duty.

For my work, I visited Families in Action (FIA), an organization that works with anybody and everybody on various issues such as drug abuse, alcoholism and domestic abuse. I got the chance to tag along with their Peer Counseling Education team when they went to a secondary school in the southern part of Trinidad to train some students who had been selected to be Peer Counselors. It was a lovely day. I also visited the Rape Crisis Society (RCS), another NGO that deals with rape, sexual abuse and domestic violence, offers free counseling, and also goes out to sensitize the public and educate people, especially in rural Trinidad. RCS established one of the first hotlines in Trinidad. Lastly, I visited the Coalition Against Domestic Violence (CADV), another NGO dealing in domestic violence. They had a lot of different programs such as Stopping Elderly Abuse Now and Childline, in addition to their Domestic Violence work. CADV responds to different DV clients based on what the client needs (counseling, help with divorce, court proceedings, child custody hearings, understanding their rights under the law, etc.). For all three NGOs ( and I think a lot of NGOs worldwide), the main problem is getting funding, and also keeping staff for a long period of time, as this work is hard, demanding and not as financially rewarding as other jobs, causing some people to burn out quickly. I also learnt that a lot of people arrived at their jobs in the NGO/DV field through a lot of avenues. Some had volunteered while pursuing another career, until they finally switched over. Others had never had any experience with the field until they just decided one day to switch careers. Very few had started out working on the issue of domestic violence.

Now for the fun part: I happened to be in Trinidad during the carnival period, so I got to witness and partake in it. I know most of you have already seen my pictures from that time, but it was a lot of fun. I went for fetes where I saw some of their musicians such as Destra Garcia, Shurwayne Winchester and Patrice Roberts. I also attended Calypso Shows, and went jogging on Lady Chancellor Hill like everyone else, in preparation for the carnival. I ate doubles, which are two delicious small, fried rotis filled with beans, chili pepper, mango slices, and other lovely things. I also enjoyed rotis, especially those with goat meat curry, green beans curry, pumpkin, channa and potato, and these greens I love but I can’t remember their name. Oh, I also fell in love….with Sorrel Shandy! Oh Lord! That is the best drink ever. I could drink about six bottles of that a day. I saw the St. James Children’s Carnival too.

Then, Twum joined me in Trinidad, and we had fun walking around and watching Carnival on the Carnival Monday. That night, I decided to play mas on Tuesday, so we called around until I found a band that had space, and I went and got the costume. You all saw what it looked like. I KNOW what it looked like, but I figured it was a once in a lifetime opportunity, so I went for it! Now my kids and grandkids can never say that Mummy/Grandma was boring. Teeheehee! I played with Rhythm Nation, and had a lot of Sorrel Shandy, water and juice to drink. I only played for a half a day. I think playing carnival is mainly tiring because you spend most of the time waiting to move along the street, as all bands have to pass in front of the judges at specific points, one of them around the Savannah, to be rated.

After carnival, Twum unfortunately fell sick. We think it was something he may have picked up on the plane, as after he got to Trinidad, we ate the same food. He however got well before he left, and I was grateful for that. It was a lovely time, and I’m especially glad I got to share it with Twum. We left the same day, him for the US, and me back to the UK, to get visas for Uganda and South Africa.

Christmas in the UK

2007-06-25T03:43:00.000-07:00

I spent Christmas in the UK with Twum, and we met up with friends and family. We hung out with Edwin, Twum’s friend from Motown. We also met up with my friend Jojo, a musician, who is getting married this August (Congratulations!), and we also spent time at Twum’s uncle place in Edgware, with Twum’s cousin Fiifi, Fiifi’s girlfriend, and Tracey, a lovely Nigerian girl who also lives in the area. Twum and I had fun decorating the whole house with fake Christmas trees, Christmas lights, and Santa hats. We also visiting Dr. Asante, one of my dad’s friends who lives about five minutes away from Edgware with his family. On 31st December we went to visit Victory Bible Church in East London where Pastor Clement and his wife minister, and I got to sing at the service (it was nice, but I was extremely NERVOUS!). From there, we went back to the hotel to sleep, and then took the train up to Birmingham to visit Angela, Sammy and Adrian. We spent New Year’s Eve with them at church service, and then the next day, they made us the loveliest breakfast ever with this nice mincemeat omelette. Twum and I left for London that same day, and then we spent the first week of the year together, after which I left for Trinidad and he left for the US. Here’s a Belated Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!

Last week in India

2007-06-25T03:36:00.000-07:00

My last week in India was pretty uneventful. I had bought some scarves for the ladies as presents, so I wrapped them and distributed them. The day before I was supposed to leave (the Friday), the ladies gave me a necklace, bracelet and earring set made from pearls, with a purple stone. It was really beautiful, and I was quite touched. Anindita’s wedding was that evening, so we planned to leave together form the office. While we were dressing up, I got a call from the airline that was supposed to take me to Mumbai so I could catch my flight to London. They had rescheduled the flight to 11am. I was extremely unhappy. I had cancelled a Kingfisher flight to get on this other flight, and now they had rescheduled. What even annoyed me even more was that all they could say was that they were sorry and there was nothing they could do about it. I kept the woman on the line, explaining to her that I was on a student ticket and didn’t have money to purchase another ticket if I missed my connecting flight to the UK. My friend Jagati meanwhile was on the phone to other airlines to see if I could get another early morning flight. The Air India lady gave me a phone number to call the shift manager at the airport, and he said that I should just come to the airport early in the morning and they would see what they could do. I also managed to get a standby reservation on Jet Airways for almost R 12,000, about twice what I had paid for the Air India flight. Served me right!! Anu the director was told, and she called me from her house to check and make sure that I was alright and everything was being sorted. Jagati was more than helpful, and after all these false starts, we left for Anindita’s marriage ceremony.

She looked amazing! The ceremony itself wasn’t too elaborate as they just signed the marriage licence, and then went through some traditional rituals. When we left the wedding, Chandrana and her husband took me to a hotel café where we had tea and desserts. It was really nice of them. When they dropped me home, I stayed up watching a movie and trying to finish up Mrs. Sanyal’s wrap. She got a little concerned that I would miss my flight, so she came to check on me around 4am. The taxi driver I had hired was already waiting downstairs, so I just got my stuff together and left. I had wanted to give Naran Rs. 1000, but I wasn’t sure how much I would have to pay for my heavy stuff, so I gave him very little money. I’ve been meaning to send him some money by Moneygram but I just haven’t gotten around to it. He was really helpful.

At the airport, I went to various offices and stood there waiting for almost an hour before someone offered to help me. I was feeling very scared because I had booked a flight on Jet Airways which was leaving at 6:30am and it was almost 5am. The lady who saw me at the Air India offices directed me to another office where the shift manager was working. He was a pretty pleasant man, and cracked a few jokes with me. I smiled, but I guess my anxiety must have shown because he quickly filled out an invoice for me to get cash at the other office. At the other office, I had to wait again till they paid out the cash to me. Even that, they called the shift manager to verify, and then I had to move to another office to get the cash. The lady at the accounts office paid me 500 rupees less than they were supposed to, and when I mentioned it, they said it wasn’t true. At that point I didn’t care, and 500 rupees was not enough for me to miss my flight to Mumbai, so I just said it was okay and left, very close to tears.

As I walked to join the security line, I saw some Jet Airways staff. One of them accosted me and asked what the problem was (apparently I looked very distraught). I explained to him, and as I ended saying “I just want to go home”, I heard someone hailing me and waving me down. It was a staff member from Air India, and they were bringing the 500 rupees. For a brief moment, I wanted to be snobbish and uppity and throw it back in their face, but I was too tired to even think up ways of doing something so childish. The man from Jet Airways asked what flight I was on, and when he learnt I was on the 6:30am flight to Mumbai, he quickly ushered me across the security line and I went to join the bus to board the flight.

I think I snored all the way from Kolkata to Mumbai. At the Mumbai domestic terminal, I had to join a queue to board a shuttle to the international terminal. Mind you, I was still wearing my sari from Anindita’s wedding. I got quite a few stares, especially since I was wearing the sari with my full afro combed out. I made it to the international terminal (finally!), and proceeded to go to the Virgin Atlantic counter. At the Mumbai international departure terminal, you had to have your bags screened before you even got to the counter. I screened my bags, and proceeded to the Virgin counter, feeling relieved that I was there three hours before departure, and that I could get to sit down soon. That was not to happen! When I got there, I was told my bags were too heavy (I knew that already! LOL!) and that I had to pay about 26,000 rupees extra to transport them. So I went to change almost all the money I had on me, ready to pay for it. When I got back, they said that I could actually put my stuff into two bags, so I had to redistribute my belongings, and I ended up throwing out some of my yarn. (Sob! Gulp! Sniff! Hehhee..that’s for you Phoebe!) After letting the whole world see the insides of my suitcase at the Virgin counter, I was told I had to go back and get my bags screened! Aaargh! I wanted to scream in frustration! (I was still in my sari…the first time I wear a sari, and I have to carry my over 32kg suitcases to and fro!) When I got back to the Virgin Airlines counter, I got the coupe de grace…my reservation was not in the system. At that point, I just started laughing, and I think I scared the check-in attendants. The one serving me called their supervisor over, and she went to verify whether I was indeed in the system. A few excruciating minutes later, she came over to tell me that they had found my reservation. I also didn’t need to pay that much for my luggage because I was transiting through the US and was allowed two pieces of luggage. So, after finally checking in (thank God!), I went back to the forex bureau to change the rupees into pounds, and then I went to find something to eat.

The trip itself back to the UK was nothing major. When I got to the immigration control area, one of the staff workers asked me whether I was Indian. I wanted to retort that it was a stupid question, seeing that I was as black as he was. I instead just said no, and he asked why I was in a sari then! Oh my! I held my tongue and said I had just arrived from India, and I went past him as quickly as I could. Sheesh! I got out into the departure lounge and waited for a few minutes, and then I saw Twum. We found a cab and went on to our hotel. We ordered some food and I fell asleep right after eating.

Week 9:Monday 4th December 2006 – Sunday 10th December 2006

2007-06-25T03:29:00.000-07:00

Today Monday, I’m still recovering from a cold I got sometime last week. I haven’t felt well the whole day and spent most of the day quietly typing on my laptop. I called the STIC office to find a ticket from Kolkata to Mumbai on the 16th. The lady said she would call me back but didn’t, and now the lights are off.  I might not leave till the lights come back on. Meanwhile, I’m not sure what to do to keep myself busy. LOL! There was supposed to be another panel discussion “Women and the Media” at Gorky Sadan, but apparently there were no people in the audience, so it was cancelled. I was quite sad to hear that, as I’m sure it would have been pretty interesting. I have also not seen any of the movies that Drik India puts up after each panel discussion. I hope I can get copies of the movies to watch later.

Week 8 (Monday 27th November – Sunday 3rd December, 2006): Back in Kolkata

2006-12-27T10:34:00.000-08:00

PICTURES: First is me with P. Sainath, a photojournalist at his exhibition "Visible work, Invisible women". Next is a picture of me with Rahul Bose, an Indian actor. when he came to participate in Swayam's 16-day campaign. I took a picture with Anindita, one of the Swayam staff, at Oxford bookstore, where an artist put up a painting exhibition "SHE", to raise and donate funds to Swayam. The next picture is of the Swayam staff with visitors from Bangladesh, who also participated in the 16-day campaign. The picture was taken at another exhibition "Women Struggle, Women Resist". The last picture is of Anu and Anindita putting up campaign banners at an outreach program in Metiabruz, a place in Kolkata.

After leaving the train on my arrival in Kolkata, I was heckled by a lot of taxi drivers, but a quick look at my stern face dissuaded most of them from pursuing me. I took a deep breath to calm myself down. One particular driver refused to be shaken off, and finally persuaded me to go with him. When I got to his car, I said I wanted a car with a meter. He tried to convince me that a meter would be three times more expensive than the Rs. 300 he wanted to charge me. I told him I wanted a car with a meter, he and his friend were trying to persuade me to go in his taxi. I told him I wouldn’t pay Rs. 300, because I had taken a taxi to the airport, which was more than 30mins away, and I hadn’t paid Rs. 300 for that, using the meter. He finally relented, and I bargained down to Rs. 200. I was actually quite angry that he had tried to rip me off by so much, so I called Chandrana, one of the ladies at the Swayam office, to ask how much I should pay. She suggested around Rs. 150. I don’t know why I was taking my anger out on that poor driver, but I was quite mad. On the way home he stopped at a petrol station, and wanted me to give him the whole fare to buy petrol. I gave him half and said I would give him the other half when we got to the house. He tried to reassure me that I had nothing to fear. I was not to be moved. I had this irrational anger towards most Indian men, after my experience at Jaipur, <, and with the travel agent, that I was ready to commit murder. Poor taxi driver! He got me safely to Saptaparni, and I gave him his remaining Rs. 100. I went upstairs where Naran met me, and then I had lunch and took a nap. I didn’t unpack, except to remove the most essential things out and to remove the dirty clothes to be washed. Later that evening I called Anu to let her know I had arrived.I went into the office the next day. The 16 days of awareness campaign had started, so that afternoon I went with the staff to Metiabruz, a locale in Kolkata with a predominantly Moslem population. It was an outreach program, with a film show and a poster exhibition. It was quite nice. On our way back I entertained Anindita and Kakali with my renditions of some Hindi movie songs and with the few phrases I had learnt.

On Wednesday the 29th there was a picture exhibition opened at Gorky Sadan, titled “Women Struggle, Women Resist”, also part of the awareness campaign going on. I didn’t go in to the office because I wanted to work on my AAUW application, which was due on Friday 1 December. On Thursday the 30th of November I went into the office and sent in my AAUW application. In the afternoon I went to Gorky Sadan with the staff to view the picture exhibition and to watch a play mounted by a Bangladeshi team that had arrived to work with Swayam on the 16 days of activism activities. Later that evening we went to Oxford Bookstore for a painting exhibition titled “SHE”, held by Anita Gurbaxani, a painter who wanted to donate the proceeds of the painting show to Swayam.

On Friday I came into the office late, to find the office locked. On the elevator ride down from the apartment, the operator had told me that there was a bandh (strike) in effect. The roads were eerily silent for Kolkata, but that was because most buses and taxis were parked as part of the strike, against the land at Singur being given to Tata motors to use for one of their plants. I was able to get into the office as the security guy and Ganesh were present. I called Jagati and she explained to me that people couldn’t make it to the office because they couldn’t get transportation. Taking advantage of the quiet, I did a few things on the internet. Later on Saswati, Anu and Gargee also came into the office. From there we left for the Seagull Media house, where there was another picture exhibition titled “Visible Work, Invisible Women.” It was a pretty moving exhibition, and I would like to own some of those pictures. The stories they tell are quite depressing. I met this French lady called Charlotte, who is working with the French Association here in Kolkata. She gave me her card and phone number, and asked me to call her if I wanted to hang out. I had met Anindita’s fiancé the day before at Gorky Sadan, and he gave me a lift home as he lived near Saptaparni. Today I watched “Dil Chahta Hai” which was a bit different from most of the Hindi movies I had seen. I wasn’t too sure what to make of it, though it was still pretty nice.

The office was open from morning on Saturday morning, but I woke up in an absolutely foul mood, and when I got to the office they could tell. I don’t know why I was so mad at the world. Anyway, there was a panel discussion at Gorky Sadan on “Women and State Violence”. It was an okay presentation, except for the man who was a historian and therefore spoke for too long. I left with Anamitra to go see a seamstress about a few things. When I got back home I watched “Rang De Basanti” a very moving, and well done film. I decided not to watch it again the next day because it was way too emotionally draining. It was nothing like most of the movies I had already seen, but it had a pretty huge impact on me, so much so that Twum asked me what was wrong with me when he called me that evening. He said I sounded sad.

The next day, Sunday, we had a panel presentation on “Time Men Act to Stop violence” at Gorky Sadan, featuring Bharat (from Vishakha in Jaipur), Ruchira (a lecturer at the law school) and Rahul Bose, a Bollywood actor. Later that evening, Rahul Bose had an interactive discussions with students at Oxford Bookstore and I took a few pictures.

8th week in India

Week 7 (Monday 20th November – Sunday 26th November, 2006): Jaipur-Delhi-Agra and the Radjani Express Train to Kolkata

2006-12-27T10:11:00.000-08:00

Pictures: The first one is of me and Karen, with some girls we met at the Shiva Temple in Jaipur. Next is the palace in Jaipur where one of the Maharajas kept his 365 wives. This is followed by a picture of the whole city of Jaipur from Amber Palace, then, me at the Shiva Temple, and me at Qutb Minar in Delhi.

On Monday I went to Anju’s house to do laundry. I sat there and waited for the laundry to be washed and dried. I actually thought I had to do it by hand, so I had bought some soap, but it turned out that she had a washing machine, so her overseer, Hemlal, did the washing for me. He hung them out on the drying line for me, and I worked on the report for Aasra while waiting. I also had lunch with them. I went into town and booked a room in Jaipur Inn, and also attended to some business with Bank of America (they had put a hold on my credit card).

The next day I went back to Mrs. Mathur’s place to give her the report. I had it on my USB drive, so I transferred it to her computer, along with some pictures I had taken while performing the survey. She had made some type of biryani for me, since I had told her that I liked that very much. It was very nice of her. I took some pictures with her and her family, and then Mr. Ahmed took me Kishangarh to catch a bus to Jaipur. It was a local bus, so I paid half the price I would have paid if I had taken an air-conditioned bus.

At the Jaipur bus station, I bought a ticket to go for the Jaipur by night tour organized by the RTDC, and got myself a rickshaw to take me to Jaipur Inn (where I was staying) and then to the RTDC hotel where I would join the tour. I met three French tourists, one girl from Hong Kong, and another guy from Germany on this tour. The funny thing was that apart from the Hong Kong girl, Bess, who was leaving by train that night, all the others were also staying at Jaipur Inn. The tour was nothing spectacular, though the view of Jaipur from Nahargarh Fort was amazing. After the tour we walked home together, and that was fun. I was hoping Twum could call me in my hotel room, but it turned out that the hotel phones were all internal (just like at Hotel Chitvan), so I didn’t get to chat with Twum. :(

The French tourists left the next morning, and Matthias and I went for the day long tour of Jaipur, also organized by the RTDC. On the tour bus, we met Karen, a lovely lady from Australia, and two cousins, Nikhil and Sid, from Karnataka and Hyderabad, respectively. We spent most of the tour together, taking pictures and having lunch together. It was a lot of fun. Matthias left by train for Bikaner that evening, and I went back to the hotel exhausted.

The next day I checked out of the hotel, and decided to do a bit of shopping before leaving for Delhi. I had asked Twum to send me some money via Moneygram, and I also went to visit a DV organization called Vishaka, based in Jaipur. After doing all this, I wanted to check email, so I asked the auto driver to take me to an internet café. Next to the café was a clothing and jewelry store, so I went in there to see what they had. I got some scarves and a sari as gifts for the ladies I work with, and made an outfit (skirt and top) for myself. If that was all, I would have been happy. While I was there, one of the workers had telephoned the owner of the store to tell them that a black woman had come to his store, so after I had been there for almost an hour, the owner arrived. I have to give it to him, he was pretty smooth. He came in and chatted with me, and then he started saying some things that just baffled me. He said I had honest eyes, and I thought that was a nice compliment, so I said thank you. He then said I gave him a good feeling. I thought that just like my honest eyes, he meant he felt I could be trusted or something like that. That was NOT the good feelings he was talking about. It turned out that he wanted to know me biblically, and when I told him I was married and in no way interested in his offer, he said “who knows why we have met today. You give me good feelings, so maybe we just have tonight.” Ha!! Sounds like a line from a cheesy movie, no? LOL! He said he would give me a hotel to stay in, give me a milk bath and oil massage, and take me out to dinner. Sounds pretty tempting huh? Yeah, if that was the only thing he was offering. Initially I thought he was kidding, but the man sure wasn’t. I left quite disappointed and feeling a little grimy from all the stuff he had said. I went back to the Jaipur Inn, got a bus ticket to Delhi at the station, and then went off to Hotel Pearl Palace to visit Karen, the lady from Australia. We went to the rooftop restaurant there and had dinner. We also met a lovely Irish lady who was traveling around India for two months, and we joined her for dinner. As the night wore on, one of the waiters came to me and said I had a phone call. Now THAT was weird, seeing that A) Pearl Palace wasn’t my hotel and B) no one knew I had come to Pearl Palace. If anything, I thought it was the people at Jaipur Inn telling me to come for my bags. It wasn’t. It was Mr. Khan, the grimy store owner. Everything took on a dreamlike quality right there. How the hell did he know where to find me? Simple answer: The auto rickshaw driver had reported my whereabouts to him. I don’t know if he was meant to keep tabs on me or something, but there had been another driver in the auto I was in, who had also been present at the store. I think he was the one who did the reporting. What did Mr. Khan want? To reiterate his intentions and let me know that his offer still stood, and would stand for a year, two years, ten years if need be. Oh my, what a TEMPTING offer!! (please read with in a sarcastic voice). I was shaken, and a little fearful. I went back to the table with Karen and the other lady and asked them to guess who had just called me. Karen was on point. She said that she wasn’t surprised, as the man could have paid the auto driver who tagged along, to give him the information. I stayed at Karen’s till around 11pm, then I got the hotel owner Mr. Singh (really nice man) to get me a reliable auto rickshaw, as it was pretty late. I got back to my hotel around 11:15pm, checked email, then got my bags. My bus was at 12:15am.

When I got to the bus station I drew a lot of stares (what else is new?), but I was too tired to care. I met a lively lady from Mizuram, in the northeastern part of India. I initially thought she as a foreigner, but it turns out that people from that part of India have the Mongolian look common to China< and Tibet, than the Aryan look that most Indians have. She was working at a Christian mission in Jaipur, and was off to meet her husband and mother-in-law in Delhi. We ended up on the same seats also (everytime I’ve done the Delhi-Jaipur trip, I end up on the front row, on seat number 1 or 2. It’s quite odd). I kept her up with my chattering, then finally apologized and left her to sleep. I called my parents to let them know what I was up to, then finally fell asleep. It was nice traveling at night by bus. We got to Delhi around 6am, and I got an auto rickshaw to take me to my hotel, H.K. Choudary guest house. I had to bang on the door a few times before the people woke up to let me in. I basically just made it into the room, changed my clothes and then fell asleep.

I woke up around noon, ordered breakfast, then got ready to go tour Delhi. When I got downstairs the owner of the hotel was there, and he said they had a travel agency I could go to. Big mistake! When I got there, the person in charge whipped out a calculator, asked me what kind of thing I was looking for, punched in a few numbers, and then told me he could organize a tour of Delhi, a personalized trip to Agra and back, and a trip to the train station for Rs. 7000. LOL! I told him I didn’t have that kind of money. He did a few deductions and brought up Rs. 5500. I told him that honestly, that wasn’t what I was looking for. I was just looking for the organized bus tours to Agra and back. He finally saw that I wasn’t some rich tourist out to gallivant about India,and gave me the package for Rs. 1900. I thought it sounded good and agreed to it. My own stupidity sometimes amazes me.

I got a car with my own driver to take me around Delhi. What they failed to mention was that it wasn’t by any means a guided tour. The driver basically took me to the place, dropped me there and waited for me to take as many pictures as I wanted, then took me to the next place. No history, no explanation, no nothing. I was sorely disappointed and a little put out. To piss me off even more, we only went to four places: The president’s house/parliament house, India Gate, Humayun Tomb and Qutb Minar. When I asked why, the driver said that there was a Sikh protest going on, so most roads were blocked, and I couldn’t go anyway. Right! When I got back to the Connaught PI area where my hotel was located, I wanted to buy a shirt to wear on my Agra trip as everything I had was a little dirty. I found a Kashmiri store that sold some nice shirts. As I was about to leave, the man who was helping me took me upstairs to look at their shawls. There I found that they had a lot of lovely bangles, and I spent a large amount of time looking through them. I purchased a few, and the shirt I wanted, and went back to the hotel. I ordered dinner of mixed vegetables, half Tandoori chicken, and some roti. It was lovely! AND, to top it off, the hotel had cable, and one of the channels had Mr. and Mrs. Smith on. So I ate my lovely dinner and watched Brangelina do their thing on TV. Then Twum called and we chatted for a loooooooong time, so I didn’t get to bed till 1am.

My trip to Agra was starting at 6am Saturday morning. I was up at 5:30am to get myself ready. I was quite tired, but I did my best. The top I had bought didn’t fit….seems to happen to me a bit here in India…I’m a little “broad in the chest” compared to most Indian women. I had to wear the same green shirt I had worn the day before, as it was the cleanest of my tops. A guy from the travel agency had arrived to take me to the bus, on a MOTORBIKE!! They are the rage in India, but I never thought I’d have to ride one. As it was still pretty early in the day, there wasn’t that much traffic on the road and it wasn’t too scary. It was pretty cool actually. We made it to the bus stand safely (thank God!!), and we had to wait for about forty five minutes before the bus itself arrived. I think out of the almost 30 people on the bus, only five of us were women. Before the bus took off, the conductor tried to move me from my seat to the back, and I protested pretty vehemently. What the….! Anyway, we set off for Agra and made a pit stop at this wayside restaurant around 9am. I had never seen so many flies in one place!! Ewww! I ordered a cup of coffee with butter toast. It should have been called butter with toast. The toast was mad oily, as if the bread had been added as an afterthought. LOL! Hey, it was safer than ordering an unknown Indian dish. I’m as adventurous as the next person, but not when I’m traveling to a tourist destination and I don’t know anything about the toilet facilities available.

We got to Agra around 1pm. A guide materialized from somewhere and told us we were going to Agra Fort first. When we got down, I told him that I knew that the ticket for the Taj Mahal could be used at Agra Fort and a few other places. He said that was not true. I quietly paid the Rs. 300 and went to see the fort, took a few pictures and got asked to take pictures with other people. You could see the Taj Mahal from Agra Fort. It was pretty cool. I hung out with this couple, a Kashmiri man and his Finnish wife. When we left Agra Fort, the guide said we would go visit the Baby Taj and then break for lunch. We didn’t make it to Baby Taj. He took us to a restaurant where we had lunch, then told us we were going to stop at a government emporium. We wasted time at this so-called government emporium, where people tried to force us to buy miniature versions of the Taj Mahal, and shoes made from camel and buffalo leather. Too much!! When we finally left for the Taj Mahal, it was almost 4:30pm. He told us we had seventy minutes at the Taj. Hahahahah…I scoff at him in retrospect. The line was long, and we had to wait a long time in order to get in, because they conducted security searches of people going in. And…I was right about the tickets. The Taj ticket cost Rs. 750, but it included access to Agra Fort, Fatehpur Sikri and two other places. Mr. Guide had supposedly pocketed our money. Whether he had or not, I wanted my money back. I didn’t enjoy being at the Taj Mahal very much, but I got some good pictures.

By the time everyone got back to the bus, it was past 7pm, going on 8pm. I fell asleep almost as soon as I sat down, because I was pretty tired. The guide had disappeared (predictably!). I was quite mad at this point. When I woke up, we had turned into another town, Mathura, where Krishna is supposed to have lived. We first stopped to go see the main temple. I didn’t want to go so I stayed behind. I decided to find some food around the area, so I got down from the bus. One of the guys on the bus who had stayed behind offered to walk with me, and we found a food seller who sold idli and dosa. I eaten either idli or dos, but I was encouraged to try them, and they were okay. As I was eating, this man started talking to me about sex, about what I did when my husband wasn’t around….I mean, it was hard to see why he was asking those questions or talking about that subject in particular. I’ve found that I’m too polite and too respectful. I should have shut him up plain and simple, without beating about the bush. I tried to steer the conversation on to safer things, to his wife and children and what they did, but he kept coming back to sex. It was quite disgusting. Then, he asked me where I was staying in Delhi. I told him that I was staying in one of the hotels in Delhi. He then asked if I wanted to sit by him for the remainder of the trip. I quickly said that I wanted to sleep, so it was unnecessary for me to move, and that I was having a good conversation with the guy who was sitting by me. He then offered me some rum. What!!?? Once we got near the bus, I quickly detoured into another store so I didn’t have to be in his company any longer, wondering how I seemed to attract such weird people. After buying an apple drink, I went back to the bus, which was ready to depart.

I thought we would head for Delhi then. Wrong. We went to another place that had a Krishna temple, supposedly in Krishna’s house. This time I went and joined the couple I had met earlier, quickly explaining to them what had happened. When I pointed out who the man was, they told me that he and his buddies had been drinking rum and smoking on the bus. When we got to this Krishna temple, they tried to get us to donate money. I was fed up by then, it was past 10pm, and even the people in that area had gone to bed already! Once we got to the bus I realized I needed to pee, but there were no toilet facilities available. Tulli’s husband went with me to the back of a house, and there I squatted in the dark and did my thing. I felt tired and dirty, and couldn’t wait to get back to Delhi. On our way back we stopped at a wayside restaurant again, and didn’t make it to Delhi till after 2am. Then, the driver dropped me somewhere in Connaught place, nowhere near my hotel. Some auto drivers milling around came to my aid, but I ignored them. One of them was however persistent, and said he would take me to my hotel at no cost, because it wasn’t safe for me to be walking around alone. I made him swear to God that he was being honest, and he took me straight to the hotel. Anything could have happened, I know, but my options were pretty limited at that time. I paid him though, Rs. 20 for his help. I again had to wake the hotel staff up as they were already closed.

I made it to my room and fell asleep, waking up around noon again. I ordered breakfast, and got ready to check out. Since I was checking out after noon, I had to pay for half a day in addition to the two days that I had already paid for. They asked me how I was getting to the train station, and I said the guy at the travel agency was sending someone for me. They called him up to check, and he said it wasn’t part of the deal. Imagine my surprise and annoyance! I told him that he had said it was part of the package. He spoke to the hotel staff and asked them to arrange a rickshaw for me, which is how I got to the train station. On my way there, I got the auto driver to stop at an Airtel store so I could top up my phone. I found my way to the station, asked for directions about my train, and went to wait on the platform for a while. The train arrived on time, and we left on time also.

I met this lovely girl called Lina and we chatted for a while, and watched Kal Ho Naa Ho. I was in 3AC (AC car with three beds per side). It was at the train station that I realized how much Mr. Khan (grimy Jaipur store owner) had ripped me off. He also had a travel agency, and I had bought my train ticket from there as I wasn’t sure how the train system worked. They had booked the train ticket online, which I could have done myself, and then charged me Rs. 615 in commission charges. That could have paid for one night in a hotel and for dinner!! I sent him an angry SMS message as I had his business card, expressing my disappointment and anger. I would have felt better calling him and insulting him, but I didn’t want to give him that pleasure. Anyway, the train ride was nice, we got good tasty food, and we made it to Kolkata about an hour later than scheduled on Monday morning, but I was just happy to be in Kolkata!

7th week in India

Week 6 (Monday 13th November – Sunday 19th November, 2006): In Rajasthan

2006-12-27T09:48:00.000-08:00

The next day (Monday) I went for lunch at Mrs. Mathur’s place, where I met her parents, her maternal uncle, and Akshay. It was a lovely lunch. From there Mrs. Mathur (Anju) took me to the MDS University in Ajmer, where she works as a guest lecturer from time to time. Some of the students there had volunteered for Aasra, so she wanted me to meet them, and to ask some of them to accompany me to the villages I would be visiting.

The next day I had to be ready to be picked up around 8:30am, by my own auto rickshaw, with Mr. Junma Ahmed as my driver. LOL! We picked up two students Bhim Singh and Devendra, who went with us to the first village, Chachiyawas. We met up with Hemraj, who lives in that particular village and attends MDS. I met some lovely people there, such as Kamala, the kindergarten teacher. We were able to interview 12 people before we had to leave, as the boys had classes starting at 1pm. I also took a few pictures. I made Mr. Ahmed take me to town, where I checked email, and made extra copies of the questionnaire I needed. We went to Chachiyawas the next day also, and this time we had two more students join us, Gopal and Lavesh. Lavesh loved to sing, so he sung the songs from Kal Ho Naa Ho and other popular songs for me. At the village a group of women were so enchanted by me and they asked me to dance. They wanted me to stay overnight. All of them also kept offering me a lot of food. One of the young ones asked me why I didn’t use makeup, and actually brought out lipstick and eyeshadow to put on me. I had to show her my makeup case and explain to her that I wasn’t big on makeup. One of the ladies actually commented that they were poor but they had big hearts, which was clearly apparent from how they were all making me feel welcome and offering me food and inviting me into their homes.

I was a big hit at the hotel. For one, I was the only permanent guest, as most people only stopped there for a night to rest from driving. I made friends with most of the staff, particularly the manager, Manjeet Singh, and the head waiter, Morsingh. We had fun chatting every night at dinner, and they kept teasing me, because for the first three days I had the same thing, Mixed Vegetable Korma with roti or nan. Morsingh suggested that I try Navratan Korma, which is a sweeter version of Mixed Veg, so I kept alternating those two. I also asked them to teach me a few Hindi phrases, so that’s where I picked up most of my Hindi lingo.

The students couldn’t make it on Thursday, Friday or Saturday, so I was left to my own devices. I made Mr. Junma take me out sightseeing in Ajmer on Thursday. After the sightseeing, where a few people had asked to take pictures with me (seeing that I’m the new attraction in town..LOL!), I went back to the hotel to find the place being decorated for a party. I was having dinner when the party started. Some of the children at the party noticed me sitting in the other room and came to sit there and stare. I started chatting with them, asking their names and how they were in Hindi, and we became fast friends. I asked them if they wanted to dance with me and they said yes, so I went to bring down my laptop and we dance to the songs on “Kal Ho Naa Ho.” Their older sisters came to join us some time later, and we talked about Shah Rukh Khan and other good movies they had watched. We also talked about school, and what I was doing here in India>. They wrote down their names for me, with their phone numbers and email addresses. Piyasha’s mother actually asked me to join the party, but I declined, because I felt odd bursting in on a family gathering. She also brought me some food, but I told her that I had just eaten. I felt bad because I thought it was a bit rude to be refusing everything they were giving. When they were leaving, one of them, Piyasha, told me not to forget her. How sweet is that?!!

I stayed in the hotel on Friday and Saturday and was bored out of my wits. I had watched and rewatched the movies I had with me, and since the hotel was so far from town, I couldn’t check email or walk around at my own leisure. By Saturday night I was ready to commit a crime…hehehe. Thankfully Sunday came quickly and I went to the village with four other guys. Lavesh and Hemraj were the only ones I had worked with before. I had three new guys, PunyaVardhan, Salim and Praveen. We interviewed 100 people in total, and left the village. I decided then and there that I would leave for Jaipur on Tuesday. My original plan was to stay in Ajmer and do the same survey in antoher village, Chatri, but I was tired of being alone in the hotel. Mrs. Mathur had invited me to dinner that evening, so I was looking forward to that, and to also tell her that I was leaving.

It turned out that the dinner was actually a wedding dinner in honor of Zulficar and his new bride, hosted by Mr. Khan, who is Zulficar’s uncle (I think). I met so many nice people there, including a man who had lived with Amitabh Bachchan in Kolkata when they were younger. One of the men gave me lemonade with gin and bitters. Very soon I found myself singing “Kal Ho Naa Ho” to a rapt audience. LOL! When I was done, they asked me for a song from Ghana, so I sung Kojo Antwi’s “Dadi Anoma” and translated it for them. They enjoyed it. The food was also lovely, tasty, and very peppery! Hahaha! It was a lovely night all in all. I told Anju that I would be leaving on Tuesday, and asked if I could come do laundry in her house the next day.

6th week in India

Week 5 (Monday 6th November – Sunday 12th November, 2006) : India-trotting

2006-12-27T08:23:00.000-08:00

I had planned to leave Kolkata for good this week. I went to purchase a few Hindi movies and some gifts for my family. I met this odd guy in front of Music World (the DVD store). At first he appeared as lost as I was, but then he claimed he had his own software company in Washington DC, and that he had been visiting his grandfather’s house here, and was a little lonely. He got my phone number, and sent me an SMS message ten minutes after I had left him. He sent me another one a few minutes later. Then he called me also. I was a little worried by then. Then he sent me a text saying I shouldn’t worry because he wasn’t weird. Hahahha!!!

As I had already bought so much stuff for my family and friends, I wanted to mail them before I left. The next day (Wednesday) I went to the DHL office to send the things to my family. After I had left the office, I got a phone call from this same guy from the day before (I think his name is Rony) and he asked me where I was. I asked him why, and he said he could see me, that he was behind me. It was one of the creepiest moments of my life. He said he just happened to be doing something in a building near the DHL office, and that I shouldn’t think he was following me or anything of the sort. HA!!!

I also had to resolve the matter of my ticket to Jaipur. What was I going to do in Jaipur, you may ask? And what the hell is Jaipur? LOL! Jaipur is a lovely city in the Indian state of Rajasthan, and I was flying there so I could get to Ajmer a smaller town also in that same area. I was going to visit an organization called Aasra, that worked with rural women and girls, and led the drive for increase in female literacy. One of the founders works with my dad, and he suggested that I go up there since I was in India. I was also getting a little tired of being in the same place so I wanted to move. However, all those plans were modified a few days before I left for Jaipur. I was informed of a conference, the India Social Forum (ISF) in New Delhi.Delhi is about six hours by bus from Jaipur. Everyone I spoke to said it would be a good experience, and a nice way to meet other organizations working against domestic violence across the country. I changed my flight date from Saturday to Thursday, booked a hotel in Delhi (which was pretty expensive), and got ready to leave.

The flight, on Kingfisher Airlines, to Jaipur was wonderful. As always, the food on the various Indian airlines is to die for. I got to Jaipur around 2pm and decided to take the bus to Delhi immediately, especially since I hadn’t booked a hotel in Jaipur. I called the manager at my Delhi hotel and asked if I could come in a day earlier. She agreed, so I got a taxi to Jaipur bus station. The city is quite lovely. It’s called the pink city because sometime in the 1800s ( I think) the Maharaja at the time painted it pink to welcome a member of the British Royal family, because pink is the color of hospitality in that culture. Anyway, on my way to the bus station I saw my first camel. I was beyond myself!! Even though Jaipur is such a lovely city with a lot of modern accoutrements, camels, cattles and horses vie for space on the main streets along with cars, motorcycles and rickshaws.

I got to Delhi around 10pm, and haggled with an autorickshaw driver, who agreed to take me to my hotel (City Center Hotel) for half the original price. I checked in, ate some crackers and went to bed. I got up the next day and found my way to the Jawaharlal Nehru stadium where the ISF was taking place. I walked around pretty aimlessly for a while, then made my way to the place where the event on the new Protection against Domestic Violence Bill was being held. I saw Anu (Swayam’s director) there, but she didn’t stay too long. The event was pretty disappointing. Let me explain. It started out with the organizers leading the group in a song. I couldn’t sing it, but I enjoyed it. I was also happy that there were men as well as women at the event. There were also other foreigners in addition to me. After that, the main speaker asked how many people understood only English, and there were only two of us. Thus, she suggested that people sitting next to us translate from Hindu to English. That worked out for a little while, but as always, you know that a lot is being left out when something is being translated. We finally moved to another tent as more people had come for the event. There other people came whose first language was not Hindi. As such, each speaker had to speak first in Hindi and then in English. I quickly realized that it might be a bit of a problem for me to attend programs if they were all going to be conducted in Hindi.

When I left the ISF, I felt a little despondent, but I resolved to shake that feeling off and enjoy myself. I stood at the stadium gates for a while but couldn’t stop an auto-rickshaw because there were so many people also hoping to catch one. I decided to cross over to the other side to see if my luck would be better there. It wasn’t. Then a random man stopped near me in his white private car and asked me to get in. Okay, he said it in Hindi, but I could tell from his gestures that he wanted me in the car. I declined politely and walked off. To my surprise he followed me in the car. I ignored him and kept walking. He stopped the car, got out to pee on the side of the road, and then kept pressuring me to get in the car. I kept walking, he drove slowly behind me. I couldn’t take it anymore, so I crossed the street to the other side. Luckily, a kind Sikh auto-rickshaw wallah saw me and stopped for me. His name was Titu. He was such a blessing in disguise. He could speak good English (not that speaking Hindi or Bengali is bad, but it made it easier for me to communicate with him), and he took me to a fruit stand and a good place to get mughlai food to go. The food was very good and the price was also quite reasonable, for Delhi. I stayed up late watching movies on TV (the hotel had cable…I watched this movie called “Bunty & Babli. I think it was some kind of Bonnie and Clyde story.) and on my computer.

The next day I got to the campgrounds around 3pm, in time for the program I wanted to participate in, but it was all in Hindi. My disappointment was so heavy I felt I was being crushed under it. I bought some gifts from the stands at the forum and left for my hotel. I decided then and there that I would leave for Ajmer the next day (Sunday).

I took the 9:30am bus from Delhi to Jaipur. Our bus broke down fifteen minutes away from Jaipur, and we had to flag another bus down. At the Jaipur station I met an Indian guy, Rahul, who had been living in Nigeria for the past 12 years. It was quite cool, especially because his English definitely had the Nigerian intonation. LOL! He wanted my number but I got his instead, and left on the bus for Ajmer.

I got to Ajmer 6:30pm. I didn’t know what hotel I was in and where it was located, so I had to call Mrs. Mathur to ask. It was Hotel Chitvan, and it was about 10km from the town center. The rickshaw wallahs I asked didn’t know where it was and kept insisting on other hotels. I finally found one who knew where it was, and we set off after haggling over the price. I couldn’t breathe a sigh of relief yet though. The hotel WAS quite far from town, and as we went farther and father from town I got a little scared. I think the rickshaw driver was also a little worried, because he kept stopping to ask for directions. Finally we saw the hotel sign, and I breathed a little easier. At the hotel I met Zulficar, a friend of Akshay Mathur (the guy who works with my dad.). He had actually just gotten married, which is why Akshay had come to India.He helped me settle into my room. And that was my first night in Ajmer.

PS: The camel picture was taken in Jaipur, and the other two were at the ISF program in New Delhi.

5th week in Kolkata, Delhi, Jaipur

4th week: Monday 30th October 2006 – Sunday 5th November 2006 – As the days go by

2006-11-05T05:07:00.000-08:00

Monday I got to see the music and theatre groups of Swayam in rehearsal. The two groups are preparing for the 16 days of activism, from 25 November to 10 December, when Swayam and other organizations in India and around the world celebrate Women’s Rights and Human Rights days. I even took pictures and took videos of the rehearsals. I was staying late at work so I could go to the café to call STA travels about my return ticket to the UK. One of the women, Chandrani, had a son who was born on 25 December, and so was called “Jesus” at home. How funny is that!

Anindita had left me with three reports to read and edit, as they were going to be compiled into the annual report for 2005-2006. I also got the contact information for some organizations in the area who were working in domestic violence, so I called them and scheduled appointments to visit them. On Tuesday I went in work and worked on the reports. Swayam had a workshop for mothers with adolescent children, with a consultant who works with adolescents. They also had a career consultant come in to chat/confer with some of the clients. I was sneezing a lot during the day, and it got worse once I got to the internet café and felt the full blast of the AC. Every time I sneezed I felt it through my whole body, like little pinpricks. I took some Nyquil after dinner, and decided not to go to work on Wednesday because I felt tired and drowsy.

On Wednesday I called Swayam to let them know that I wasn’t coming in, and also called one of the organizations I was going to visit, to cancel the appointment. I stayed and mostly slept. On Thursday I went to visit in to the office, and then left to visit Shramajivee Mahila Samity (Working Women’s organization), an organization that works with rural communities and women on the issue of domestic violence and women’s rights. They are located in the suburbs of Kolkata, and it took me about an hour and a half to two hours to get there by bus. People’s reaction to me was worse than it had been in the main city. Three little boys followed me with some incense sticks, the bravest one trying to talk to me, trying to get one rupee from me, and just basically rambling on in Bengali. When they got tired they left me alone. A man on a motorbike also stopped by me and shook my hand. Another man stepped in my path and asked where I was from. I finally found the Rasoraj, the sweet shop that was the landmark I was supposed to look out for, and went in to ask for directions. I showed them the address I had been given, and they called a cycle rickshaw to take me there. It as my first time on a cycle rickshaw, and it was quite a lot of fun.

When I arrived at the offices of Shramajivee, I was taken in to see Anuradha, who seems to be one of the head honchos there. She was very nice, and said that it was pretty rare to have visitors from the South visiting (economic South i.e. another developing country), so they were all pretty excited. I did an informal interview with her, and they invited me to have lunch with them. It was basic Bengali fare, I guess, of rice, Dal and some vegetables (okra and egg plant I think). They also ordered a dessert of sweet curd and chondish (made from cottage cheese) as a branch of Rasoraj was located right opposite their premises. The sweet curd was VERY sweet. Apparently it’s a typical Bengali dessert. Anuradha introduced me to some of the staff there, and I met this nice lady who is an activist. They said that it would be nice for me to visit one of the villages they work in, so they would see what they could arrange before I leave.

I took another cycle rickshaw from the office, and this was even more interesting. The man was over the moon to have me in his rickshaw, that he kept tooting his horn for no apparent reason. He even stopped at a corner shop to show me off, but the person he was looking for wasn’t around. He kept pointing out different buildings like banks and hospitals out to me, like he was giving me a tour. I think he just wanted to practice his English on me. He asked me where I was from and I said Ghana, but then he would scream out to other rickshaw drivers he met that I was from Nigeria, and I would have to correct him and say Ghana. LOL! Once we got on the main road, he actually stopped pedaling and came to sit by me, while screaming for someone to take a picture of him with me. It was pretty amusing, although it could have gotten annoying if I had been in a bad mood. (He wasn’t able to get the picture taken, unfortunately.)

On the main road I got a bus pretty easily and settled in for the long trip back to the center of the city. Once I got down at Gariahat Junction, I saw that there were a lot of stalls for shopping. I got some kurtas (long shirts for men) for my dad and Twum, and a salwar kameez for a friend. I also got some earrings for another friend. I got back to Ballygunge Phari by auto rickshaw, and went into the internet café for an hour before heading home.

On Friday I called Gana Unnayan Parshad, the organization I had canceled on, and made another appointment for Monday. I also called STIC travels to book a ticket for Jaipur, as I’ll be leaving at the end of next week. The lady got me a ticket for Sunday 12 November and told me it would cost Rs. 4336. Later that evening there was an Adda at Swayam. This was an opportunity for all the women who use Swayam to meet for relaxation and entertainment. They played music and danced, and got me to dance with them. The women were also served egg rolls (I got to have one. Amazing!!), with some dessert. It was pretty good. I left with some of the women, and got to walk with two of them, Chandrani and Indrani, who are pretty frequent visitors to Swayam, and are also members of the music group. Chandrani is the mother of Jesus. The two of them talked about how Swayam was their everything, and how the staff at Swayam had helped them when they didn’t have anyone. It was a pretty touching testimony to the good work that Swayam is doing. They got me to eat a wayside snack (I know I shouldn’t have) that was this puffed fried bread that was filled with a potato mix and some type of flavored water. It was pretty nice, but I knew that I would have a running tummy later that night or tomorrow morning. LOL! I had to go back to Gariahat Junction to exchange one salwar kameez for another, so Indrani went with me. From there I went to the internet café for about an hour and then went home.

On Saturday the office was open from 10am to 2pm. I had stayed up till 3am chatting with Twum, so I didn’t get in to the office till noon. Anindita and Sashuti are going with some of the women from Swayam to Kalimpong (ten hours away by train) for an outstation workshop. I left after 2pm with Jagati, one of the staff there. She put me on a bus bound for Camac Street, where the STIC office is located. When I got there, the lady there told me that my ticket would cost Rs. 10,940. Goodness! I absolutely refused to pay that! I told them that I had seen on their website that students with the ISIC card could get a flight from Kolkata to Jaipur for Rs. 5117 on Kingfisher Airlines. The lady said she didn’t think so, that it was only for Indian students. She called another staff member to look into it, and after about thirty minutes, I was told that I was right, and that I could get that ticket. They wanted me to pay all that upfront, and I told them I didn’t have all that money, because I had come prepared to pay Rs.4336. I gave them Rs. 5000, and got a receipt for that. They said they would have my ticket ready by Monday afternoon, so I should call them then. I was not happy at all, and I left feeling pretty deflated.

I saw a Punjab government store opposite the STIC office, so when I left I went in there to look at what they had. They had lots of jewelry, bags, clothes and a host of other things. I just wanted jewelry for a friend, and some cushion covers to buy. I didn’t have any money on me though. I picked out some cushion covers and letter holders, and some bracelets, and told them I would come back for them when I returned to the STIC office for my ticket. I walked down Camac Street and bought an egg and chicken roll at a fast food stop. I asked two ladies eating there what bus to take to get to Saptaparni, and they asked the cashier of the fast food place. I finally got a number (206) and went to the bus stop to get the bus home when I finished eating. It was not a totally pleasant day.

Sunday I slept in and woke up around 9am. I went for breakfast around 10am, and chatted with Mrs. Sanyal for a while. I came back to my room, exercised and took a shower. I then sat down to write three weeks’ worth of updates. Now I’m on my way out to get lunch, then probably head over to the café to put all these updates up.

3rd week: Monday 23rd- Sunday 29th October 2006 – Finding my rhythm

2006-11-05T05:04:00.000-08:00

This week I just mainly went in to work at Swayam. Since Anu had left for her two-week travel to the US for a conference, I just went into the office on Monday and finished typing up my summary of Swayam’s annual report 2004-2005, which gave me a pretty good idea of the kind of work they do. Sometimes I feel that what I’m doing is useless, that I could have done the same thing without flying over here and staying here with them. I could have asked them to mail me their publications and then just written summaries of all of them. I however catch myself whenever I think that, because I am getting to see the world, and to see the daily interactions and day to day work that they do. It’s all nice and groovy on a printed document, but I am appreciating the work more when I see the professionalism and familiarity with which the staff at Swayam deals with each other and with the numerous women they see. I’m also eating pretty good food, and now I own some of their Salwar Kameez outfits, which are pretty groovy. I went with Chandrana to Dakshinapan, a government regulated shopping mall to get some new outfits and gifts for others.

Tuesday and Wednesday were public holidays, so I didn’t need to go in to work. I decided to visit the internet café on Tuesday afternoon, to see if I could download a few shows to watch in the evenings. Oh goodness! What a terrible, absolutely horrendous idea! In order to not get the shows illegally (okay, one particular show: Grey’s Anatomy), I decided to purchase it on iTunes, thinking that since it was a legal connection, it would download faster. Sooooooooooooooo not true. I regretted buying it on iTunes, and felt that I would have gotten the shows faster if I had stuck to my guns. The connection crawled much slower than any snail or slug I’ve come across, and I was there for about six hours. I did get to chat with Twum and some other friends on Skype, Yahoo messenger and Google chat.

I went back to work on Thursday and Friday. It was pretty much me reading, and helping out around the office, and also asking questions of the ladies who worked there. I had been allowed to sit in on two conferences that a lawyer had had with two women, so that was also pretty cool, even though I didn’t understand anything that was going on. These two days passed very quickly and before I knew it, it was the weekend.

On Saturday I took the West Bengal Tourism Company’s tour of Kolkata. I met an Indian guy called Arvind who had gone to MIT for grad school and was now working as a software engineer in Bangalore. He was backpacking through India and had just arrived in Kolkata that morning. He saw that I was in my Amherst Class of 2006 T-shirt, which is how come we got to chatting. We visited a lot of religious sites, like this place at Belur Math, the Kali Temple at Dakshineswar, Kalighat Temple, and St. Paul’s Cathedral. We also visited the house and museum of Netaji Subhas Bose, who was a freedom fighter during World War II, and also the Kolkata Museum. I went to an internet café on the main road for about an hour, bought some Mausambi juice (Mausambi is like the oranges we have in Ghana, but they don’t call them oranges because they have the huge orange-colored oranges here also), and finally made it home, collapsing in an exhausted heap on my bed. I wasn’t feeling too good because we had had lunch late and I hadn’t had enough water to drink.

On Sunday I basically stayed at home for a while, listened to a sermon from Pastor John Wesley of St. John’s, Springfield, MA, did a bit of work-related reading, and then went out for lunch at Café Coffee Day, then headed for the café. After the café, I came home for dinner and went to bed. J

Saturday 21st – Sunday 22nd October, 2006 – Diwali weekend

2006-11-05T04:57:00.000-08:00

I’m sitting on the balcony of the 14^th floor apartment where I’m staying with Mrs. Sanyal, and looking out at all the lights people have strung on their buildings in celebration of Diwali, the festival of lights. I am yet to ask what it means. No, let me modify that. I asked this lovely lady at the Airtel phone store what it means, and her explanation was that it was the start of a new business year for most (or all) businesses. Thus, in celebration of this day, all shops and businesses would decorate their premises with lights and religious articles. I think there might be another explanation for it, so I’m waiting to ask Mrs. Sanyal, who is a storehouse of knowledge, seeing that she’s eighty-three years old and counting. Many people started celebrating the Diwali early, throwing firecrackers during the day and the night since last week. I was startled a number of times at the office when I heard loud, cracking (AND booming) noises in the middle of the day. It was later that someone explained to me that people had started celebrating Diwali early.

Chandrana, the mental health consultant at Swayam, asked me what I was doing for Diwali. When I told her I had no plans, she said she would check with her family and see if they were okay with her bringing a guest. She called me on Saturday morning to say that it was fine, that she would come for me at 5pm. I spent most of the day sleeping and then knitting. I had purchased a red and black Salwar Kameez outfit at New market a week ago, so I ironed that and wore that for my visit with Chandrana and her family. They were very lovely.

She came to pick me up with her parents-in-law. We drove through the town to Chandrana and her husband’s apartment, where the mother-in-law got down with us. We went upstairs and had some tea and sweets. I met Chandrana’s husband then, and also looked through their wedding pictures. The mother-in-law was very funny and sweet, and when I told her I liked the food and the outfits, she said she would find me an Indian man to marry. LOL! I told her I was already married, and that also from what I hear, Indian men rarely marry other women who are not Indian. She laughed it off and jokingly said if men married more than one woman, I could also marry more than one man. That woman was a trip! Later on Chandrana and her husband lit some oil lamps, and then we left for her parents’ house. There I met Chandrana’s father, a charming old man who said he had adopted me as his daughter, and I also met her mother, who was ill and was not very talkative while we were there. She has to have round the clock care, so she had a day nurse and a night nurse. While we were visiting the night nurse came in, all dressed up in a very beautiful saree. I took a picture of her.

I then went downstairs with Chandrana, her husband, and two younger girls from the house, to throw firecrackers. It was a lot of fun, and I took a lot of pictures and videos. My favorite was this cracker called “The Butterfly”. When lit, the cracker moves around rapidly, almost looking like a butterfly or moth in flight, and it also changes color. Sometimes it even seems to be following the person who lighted it. Chandrana’s husband lighted one which jumped three stories high!! We later had dinner with chicken patties, salad, and a type of bread that I’ve forgotten the name of. It was a great evening, and I returned feeling both happy and sad.

On Sunday I stayed at home, and then later on when to the internet café for a while. I went to Café Coffee Day, a new hangout place for the youth of Kolkata if they need some coffee and a light snack. I bought a chicken tikka sandwich, which was pretty good, and had it with an iced fruit drink. Pretty okay. I came back home, did a little bit of reading and went to bed. Happy Diwali!

Monday 16th – Friday 20th October, 2006 – In a new place

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I moved into Mrs. Sanyal’s apartment on Sunday. It’s just a five minute walk from the Swayam office, so it’s quite convenient. Of course, every time I walk on the street to the office, people stare at me as if I have nine heads. LOL! I am so not used to being the center of attention in this way, being looked at as the foreign person. This week I worked a bit with Anu, who is preparing a presentation for a UNESCO conference in the US. I sat in on a mock run of her presentation and gave her suggestions. I also helped her put in or take out things from the PowerPoint slides. Later on in the week she gave me a semi-annual report to take a look at and edit for her. It was 29 pages single-spaced! That took up quite a bit of my time. I also finished reading the publications Anindita had given me when I first arrived, and made a lot of extensive notes on the articles. It’s now just left for me to type them out. I learnt a lot about the activities of Swayam from reading the report and also from helping Anu with her presentation.

During lunch on Tuesday Anu said that she wanted to taste some Ghanaian food before she left on her trip. She asked me what I could make and I said jollof, so she asked for the ingredients. I thought she was kidding. I left to go to the bank to change some money, and by the time I got back the cook had gone to buy the things I needed. LOL! I started on the stew while Swarmita, one of the caseworkers there, stayed with me and asked questions about what I was doing. I also made a marinade of onions, garlic, ginger, black pepper, salt and some turmeric, and put this on the chicken they had bought (they bought three whole chickens! Luckily for me they had already been cut into smaller pieces). The next morning I wasn’t feeling too well, but I knew I had to go make the lunch, so I went in around 11am. Apparently they had been waiting impatiently for me, so the moment I landed Swarmita and Gargee, another caseworker, pounced on me, saying that they thought I had decided not to come. I went into the kitchen and carried on with preparations. I was cooking for 14 people! That’s almost a party you know. The Swayam staff had one lady come in to help me by chopping the vegetables for me. Of course, as with most jollof I’ve made, the bottom got burnt very quickly. This lady was trying to turn the rice, with the burnt portion too. I got a little pissed at her. I knew she knew how to cook, but because we didn’t understand each other, it was a bit confusing, and I felt it was a little presumptuous of her to just turn my food when I was telling her not to. Anyway, she went to call Swarmita, and I explained to her, and Swarmita basically asked me to ignore her and go about my work, since I knew what the food was supposed to be like. In addition to the rice, I made a stir-fry of potatoes (Aloo), peas, green beans, onions, carrots and green pepper (I steamed the potatoes, and then added the vegetables, along with some salt and black pepper). This was because two of the ladies were vegetarians. I cooked the chicken, and then tossed each piece lightly in a bit of vegetable oil. It all came out pretty beautifully. The staff members totally consumed the jollof. I thought they wouldn’t like it, but they did, and they all asked for the recipes I had used. :) I was muy, muy happy!!

On Thursday I got my Airtel SIM card to use for my cell phone, so I was quite happy. I also found this café at Ballygunge Phari, this big crossroads for four major roads, and I’ve been going there pretty frequently. The man who runs the café was very nice to me the first day I got there. He asked me if I wanted any tea, and got some chai tea for me. He also suggested that I buy this coupon deal where I pay for 10 hours of browsing but get 15 instead. I thought he was being extra nice, but when I mentioned it to Twum, he laughed and said I was reading too much into it. The next few times I went, he offered me tea and biscuits again, and told me he wasn’t well, so I should touch his forehead and see. LOL! We’ll see how this unfolds!

Friday I stayed a little late as Anu was frantically getting things ready before she left. The upcoming weekend was Diwali and Kali Puja. Her son came with the driver to pick her up from the office, and I got to meet him. Anu was quite busy, so I just waited to wish her a safe trip and to say goodbye, before leaving the office. I had initially planned to spend only three weeks at Swayam, but because she was leaving and I wanted to interview her about how she started Swayam, I decided to stay that extra week so I could see her before leaving.

Sunday 15th October, 2006 – Out of the hotel, Finally!

2006-11-05T04:35:00.000-08:00

I stayed up all Saturday night, watching TV and then later chatting with Twum from around 6am till 8am when I finally went to bed. I woke up at 11am, so I could check out from Marina Hotel by noon. If I hadn’t, I would have to pay for an extra night. After checking out, I tipped Inam, the security guy, and the quiet guy in the glasses who used to bring my food up when I ordered room service. Inam found me a taxi and the driver took me safely to Saptaparni. At the gate, I had to sign in with the security men, who then called up Mrs. Sanyal to verify that she was expecting me. I asked the driver how much the trip cost, but he didn’t understand me, so I took out my language book and tried to ask how much in Hindu and Bengali. The guy understood Bengali, but I didn’t understand his response, so I called one of the security men for help. The trip cost me Rs. 50.

After getting up to the 14^th floor apartment and putting my luggage in my room, I chatted with Mrs. Kamal Sanyal for quite a while, before having lunch of Dal (a lentil soup), sliced okra, green beans, carp in mustard sauce, boiled rice, and a dessert of rice pudding with almonds, and shortbread-like cookies. I also learnt how to make rice pudding (by mouth). The trick is to cook the rice in the milk, instead of boiling it in water and then later adding the milk. J I was quite tired as per my all-nighter, so I took a nap, and was woken up at 5:30pm by Naran, the man who works for my host. He gave me water and coffee, and then I went back to bed till 7:30pm.

After waking up I watched a little TV with Mrs. Sanyal, and we talked about the war in Iraq and stuff like that. I told her about the movie Fahrenheit 9/11 and promised her a copy of the movie. I had a lovely dinner of Aloo Paratha (aloo is the name of potato…hehehe! I’m learning some phrases), Raita (Radha, I now understand your love for Raita. This one was really good, and it had all these vegetables in it), pickled mango, pumpkin and onion stir-fry, and custard for dessert. I called Twum and gave him the apartment’s number, and then got ready for bed after taking a shower (as if they knew, my bathroom is all green! Yay!).

So, for those of you worrying about me being all alone in a hotel, you can rest easy now, because I’m living in a lovely place now. I can see almost a third of the city from my windows!!

Saturday 14th October, 2006 – A lil’ bit of shopping

2006-11-05T04:21:00.000-08:00

I woke up in the afternoon, around 2pm. After lazing a bit more in bed, I got showered and dressed, and I left to go change some money so I could pay the hotel bill. I was planning to leave before noon on Sunday, so I wouldn’t have to pay for an extra day. Although I had consulted my Lonely Planet India guide about where to change money, I still decided to ask the staff at the hotel’s reception desk. The man there directed me to Free School Street, and said I could take any bus from the front of the hotel to Park Circus Seven Point, get down, and take an auto-rickshaw to the place. By the time I got outside, I could only remember the Free part of the street, so I went back to ask. I went to stand at the bus stop, realized I was hungry, and bought two small bags of Lays chips, American sour cream and onion flavor. By the way, there is quite a large flavor assortment of Lays chips over here, it’s both funny and impressive. So far I’ve seen American Sour Cream and Onion, Indian Masala, and Spanish Tomato Salsa. Their adverts for these chips are also pretty cool!

Anyway, I bought one bag initially, gave half of it to the security man at the hotel gate, and bought another bag. I then went into the hotel restaurant and bought a bottle of Aquafina (bottled by PepsiCo. Coke’s brand of water is called Kinley, I think. Pepsi seems to rule over here in India. I haven’t seen a Coke since I got here, but there are many Pepsi ads on TV, and at the hotel, whenever I asked for a soda, that’s what I got.) The security man told me to take the number 45 bus, so I jumped on it when it arrived. The ride to Park Circus Seven Point wasn’t far. After I got down from the bus, I realized I was totally confused as to which direction to take. I passed by a place with little stalls that looked like a market, but I didn’t want to be sidetracked (and that could happen so easily), so I looked around for auto rickshaws, then crossed the road to where they had queued. I got onto (into? I don’t know!) an auto rickshaw and just said “Free School Street” to the driver. He however either did not understand me, or had something to say to me, because he muttered something in Bengali I think. I was completely at sea, and I suddenly felt quite nervous and unsure of myself. Luckily, a young guy in the front seat jumped to my rescue and told me that that driver said he couldn’t take me there since the connecting road had switched directions. I didn’t understand that, so the kind guy said he was going to that area so he would just show me once we got down. I was very grateful (as you can imagine). So we set off.

Riding an auto rickshaw is pretty amazing. It’s a tiny little vehicle on three wheels, about the size of a golf cart. However, just like a normal sized car, it seats the driver and one person in front, and three people squeezed in at the back. J I think due to regulation stipulations, most of them are painted green, with a yellow snout (front). There are no doors on the sides, just bars on the right passenger seat at the back. We all enter from the left. If you ride in front with the driver, you have to hold on to a metal handle just above your head. The auto rickshaw drivers navigate the road as if they have no care for their lives. Almost like motorcycles, they weave in and out of traffic, and most of the time cause big buses to stop within two inches of them, easing through slowly to avoid being crushed by the big, obnoxious buses. LOL! They get you from point A to B pretty fast, and cost around Rs. 3-5 depending on the distance covered. Plus, the feel of the wind as you ride through the streets is just lovely! I would like to own one for fun. ( I won’t drive it in the streets of Kolkata though! Sheesh!)

Once we got to the stop where I had to get down, the guy told me, and then paid my fare for me. He introduced himself as Rohan, and I told him I was Denise. He explained to me that the connecting road to Free School Street was open for traffic to flow in one particular direction (to Free School Street…let’s call it FSS for short) from 8am to 2pm. At 2pm, the flow of traffic switched to a one way from FSS. It was only between 9pm and 8am that the connecting street was two-way. That was what the auto driver had been trying to tell me, and silly me, I couldn’t get it. (Haha!...ha!)

So, Rohan was on his way to New Market, which is apparently the place to get different outfits. I had heard about it from many people but I hadn’t gone there yet. I asked Rohan if he would mind waiting for me to change money, and then allowing me to tag along while he went there. He was really nice about it, and took me to a place to change money, after asking me whether I wanted legitimate or illegal money changers. LOL! I should have lived dangerously and gone to the illegal side; they apparently have better rates. To cut a long story short, Rohan acted as my unofficial guide, pointing out various streets and their significance, till we got to New Market. It wasn’t that far from FSS. I also saw Sudder Street, which is mentioned many times in the Lonely Planet guide. At New Market, I had to leave Rohan because he was just returning a shirt, then he had to dash off to tutor some students. He gave me his number to call him, after I explained that I was meeting some resistance in getting a SIM card for my phone. He said he would help me out. How nice of him, no?

Right after I left him, I saw everyone looking, no staring unabashedly at me. J New Market is an indoor market, a storey building filled with various little stores and stalls. I went to the first stall I saw, as the guy there looked friendly and the clothes there were on sale. My main aim was to purchase some Salwar Kameez or Salwar suits, which consists of a top, pants and a scarf, and is won by many of the women here in India. My mom said she also wanted one, so I was on a mission. This particular store had Salwar suits on sale for Rs. 150. Now that is roughly $3.50 for a three piece outfit. “I’ma get mine,” I thought to myself (as Okwasi would say), and rushed to look through. Alas, they were all not my size. (Don’t laugh! I’ve told you how I tower over quite a number of the women here.)

The store owner came to my aid, and pointed me to those that were my size, and those cost Rs. 300. I didn’t think he was trying to rip me off, as I had done my homework and been told that that was the normal price. He introduced himself as Guudu, and was very nice to me. I looked at a number of the outfits, picked one out for myself, and one out for my mother. On a whim I also bought one for my sister. He was very excited, and tried to get me to buy more of the ones I had picked but discarded. I was satisfied with my purchases, and so I was not in the least bit tempted. He even sent someone out to buy me some chai, which was lovely, and was served in this tiny clay cup. Guudu took me around to look for male shirts, but I didn’t find any I wanted as they were all western style shirts. He finally gave me his business card and said I could come whenever I needed to. I left the building and saw just on my left, a boutique where this lovely green and pink Salwar suit was being displayed. I went in and of course, caused a pretty big stir as the streets are not exactly teeming with black people. LOL! I was asked for the third time how I comb my hair, and I had to go through the whole spiel. I tried on the salwar kameez that I wanted but it was too tight across the chest. ( I didn’t my bust was THAT big!). I left that boutique feeling a little sad.

Oh well!! The sadness didn’t last too long. I was excited to be shopping. I went on to buy two bags, which were absolutely beautiful. I also asked about other salwar kameez suits but none were in my size. After browsing through other trinkets, I went into a clothing store to look at materials for sewing my own salwar kameez. I found three sets that I really liked but I decided to go sleep on it. The store keeper was really nice, and he asked me to teach him some words in Twi. I asked him to teach me some Hindi words, and then I took some pictures with them. I left the store and got onto Sudder Street, which I had heard a lot about. Right as I got onto the road, a woman came up to me, begging me to buy ingredients for her to make food. She insisted that she didn’t want money, but that I should buy ingredients for them to make rice and Dal, so she and her children could eat. It was quite an odd request, but I felt that it being a major tourist spot (there are many budget hotels there so lots of tourists stay there), I should still not give any money. As she kept pleading with me, I saw other women and children straining their necks to see what I would do. The street was not that well-lit either, so I was a bit worried. I told her I would go with her to see how much the vegetables cost. It all came to Rs. 190. I told her I couldn’t give her that much money, and gave her Rs. 10. She said it wouldn’t be enough for her and her family, and her friend’s family also. I wanted to shout “Why should I pay for feeding you?” Was that a mean thought to have? I mean, I wanted to help, but I had been warned that giving money to anyone who begged me for it would cause a lot of other people to flock to me for money. It was an eerie experience.

I shook it off and kept walking. I realized it was past 8pm and I hadn’t had anything to eat, really. I saw a fruit stand where they made juice for you on the spot. I ordered some orange juice, and they blended the orange for me with ice. It was so good!! I asked the man selling the juice if there were any good restaurants around, and he directed me to one right next door. I ordered plain rice, chicken do piyaza and tandoori roti. It was a very delicious meal. When I finished eating it was a little past 9pm. I thought that since it would take me a bit of time to get to the hotel and then walk to the internet café, I should just use the café that was on that street.

The café was pretty big, with almost twenty computers. It was in a big well-lit room. In addition, it sold different clothing and souvenirs. The computers also had Skype and microphones and all that good stuff. I was quite excited. Since the connection was pretty fast, I was able to update my blog for the first week, chat with Kwadwo from AC, and then call Twum on Skype. I was so thrilled I lost track of time, and by the time I realized, it was almost midnight. I got up and paid my tab, and asked one of the workers if he knew any reliable taxi driver to take me home. He took me to a taxi driver who invited his companion along. I was a little hesitant, but since the guy who directed me was the one who had taken me to the café, I felt I could trust him. Well, I could trust him but not the driver!!!!!!!! It turned out that the neither the driver nor his companion were clear on the directions to my hotel, and so they got lost. To make matters worse (and my blood boil with anger!!) they said I made them get lost, so I should pay extra. Honestly, I wanted to smack them both across the head. I told them that I shouldn’t have to pay extra because I am the tourist, I gave them the address, and they said they could take me there. When I got to my hotel, I gave them what they asked for and slammed the car door with all my might. The companion was trying to say goodnight with me. If I had been a little more crass I would have told him what to do with his goodnight. (Hehehe…).

I got back to my hotel room still fuming. To relax I turned on the TV and watched several episodes of “The Simple Life”, and the movie “Fools Rush In” (you know it’s a good movie!). I ended up staying up till 8am! J

Friday, 13th October, 2006 – Fruitcake and sweet coffee

2006-10-16T08:05:00.000-07:00

I had a horrible night and woke up this morning feeling pretty tired. I just couldn’t fall asleep. I woke up at 9am because I wanted to get ready and head out so I could go visit my new place and meet my new host at 11am. I switched on the TV and Oprah was showing, with Jada Pinkett Smith and the Williams sisters as her guests. They were talking about problems young girls face, and all the guests had just written books on the topic. I was intrigued, so I kept watching. I ordered some toast and a bottle of water, as I didn’t want to face the tea they had served the day before. Around 9:40am Twum called and said he would call back in ten minutes. This meant I couldn’t go take a shower in case he called. I just kept watching the Oprah show, which ended at 10am. Twum finally called around 10:15am, and we had a small chat. He was getting ready to go home. Around 10:30am I told him I had to leave, and then got ready for work. I got downstairs around 10:50am (yeah, I was quick!), handed in my room key, and went to wait at the bus stop for my bus.

While waiting for the bus, a middle-aged Indian man kept staring at me, then finally said hello. I nodded, said hello, and turned my gaze elsewhere, as per the Lonely Planet guidebook instructions. He wasn’t done though. He wanted to chat. He asked me where I was from and I said Ghana. He asked if Ghana was in South Africa and I said no, in West Africa. He wanted to know what I was doing here, and I said I was just touring. He asked if I was staying in that hotel and I said yes, and then he asked me for my ROOM NUMBER!! WHATTT??!!! I told him I couldn’t give him that, and he said that he was also staying in the hotel. He then asked if I lived in Lumumbashi, and I said no, I was from West Africa, which is near Nigeria. Then he said that I had a good body, and looked really fit. I said I thanked God for that, and he asked if I was Christian, and I said yes. Then he said again that I had a good body, and that he liked it, and I said that my husband liked it too. I wanted to scream at him to leave me alone. Then he asked me where I was going and I said Hazra Road. Around that time the 33 bus was approaching. For a split second I wanted to wait for the 204/1, but I knew he would keep trying to chat with me and maybe keep commenting on my physique, so I jumped on the bus. LOL!

I got to my stop safely (cost Rs. 4.00), and dropped in at the office quickly to let them know I was going to visit my new host. It was pretty close to the office, just as Anu mentioned. As usual, I drew a lot of stares. I’m getting a little used to it. The lady lives in a high rise, on the 14th floor. There was a security gate there, and I had to sign in and give the name and apartment number of the person I was going to visit. I did that, and went to wait for the elevator that would take me to the 14th floor. I got upstairs with no hassle, and rang the bell to the apartment. An older man opened the door for me, and greeted me with his hands clasped in a prayer stance just below his neck. The old lady in there also did the same thing, and I copied them. I thought it was so cute!

I sat down, and chatted with the old lady. Her name is Mrs. Kamal Sanyal, and she is 83 years old. She was quite young looking and active for her age. We had a lovely conversation, and I was given some slices of fruitcake, water and coffee. I was also given a fried dough type of thing, but I didn’t know its name. She showed me the room, which is large and has a double bed, and has a great view of the city (hello! It’s on the 14th floor!). She would be charging Rs. 800 per day, and it includes breakfast and dinner. I thought it was a pretty good deal, about $18 a day. I spent an hour with her without really realizing I’d been there that long. We settled on me moving in there on Sunday. I agreed to stay there for two weeks, to be extended if I stayed longer in Kolkata.

I left and went back to the Swayam office, and did a bit of reading. I got some coffee to drink, in an attempt to stay awake. However, since I hadn’t slept that well last night, I kept dozing off. One of the staff members asked if I would like to take a nap, and showed me a little room with cushions where I promptly fell asleep. I had a fan on me, so it was a pretty sweet nap. Thirty minutes later I woke up because I was sweating profusely. The lights had gone off. Apparently there is some load shedding going on in the area, so it was our turn. I went back to my nap after a few minutes. Another staff member came to wake me up for lunch, but I was still so sleepy I said they should give me ten more minutes. This ten minutes turned into thirty, and I woke up at almost 3pm. I think I had napped for an hour and a half. I didn’t want to wake up but I didn’t think it was nice to sleep the whole afternoon away. I forced myself to wake up, and got some more coffee to drink.

As I was sitting at my desk, one of the staff members came by and introduced herself as Chandrana, the mental health consultant. She asked me if I wanted my lunch, and went to speak to the canteen staff to prepare my lunch. For lunch I had boiled rice with red beans, the Dal again, and some potatoes in a spicy sauce. That potatoes and spicy sauce is very good. I can’t seem to ever finish my lunch because I get filled up pretty quickly.

After lunch, I went upstairs to chat with Chandrana, and we had a lovely conversation. She also gave me a dessert (Rosh something) to try. It’s made from milk; the milk is boiled for a while, then a citrus juice is added to curdle it I guess, then a bit of flour is added to it to make some balls. Then, the balls are soaked in syrup (sugar water, basically). The balls are chewy, and taste a bit like condensed milk.

I did a bit of reading, finishing up the book on helping domestic violence victims who have tried to commit suicide. It was around 5:30pm at this time, so I went online to check my flight booking, which had been sent by the STA agent I’m working with. I hopefully leave India on or around 20th December. I then registered with Jet Airways, so I could claim the miles I had flown (and will be flying in December) from them.

I left around 6:15pm, caught the 33 bus again, and this time, was able to get a seat for most of the trip. I missed my stop and had to get down at the next stop, but it was near the internet café so I knew how to get back to the hotel. I got into my room, ordered some dinner (two chicken wraps. I’ve learnt my lesson.), and I’m now working hard to finish my blog so I can put up the updates online. In the meantime, I watched an old version of Friends and Seinfield, and I’m now watching this year’s VH1 music awards.

(Honey, I just saw the Bacardi Mojito advert on one of the channels! LOL!)

Thursday, 12th October, 2006 – A lovely dayyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!

2006-10-16T07:47:00.000-07:00

I had a pretty good day today. Twum and Kwasi called and woke me up around 10:30am IST (Indian Standard Time.. or some say Indian Stretched Time), and we had a lovely chat. It was a nice way to start the day. I took a shower and went outside to investigate what the loud, booming noises were. It was raining cats and dogs outside. That meant I wouldn’t be leaving for work anytime soon, and it was almost noon. I had told the staff at Swayam that I would be in around 1:30pm. I decided to order breakfast from the hotel restaurant, and to be safe, I asked for toast and tea. The toast was delicious, with some nice butter spread on it. The tea? Pretty weak, but sweet. What put me off though was the smell of the milk. I wasn’t sure if they had put fresh cow’s milk in there or something, but it smelled weird. I couldn’t eat it (sorry to those who were rooting for me to live outside my comfort zone). Inam, the guy who had offered to take me to Mother Teresa’s house, and has also offered to get a SIM card for me, came back to say that they wouldn’t give him the SIM card unless they saw a purchase receipt for the phone. It’s a little ridiculous. I just need a prepaid phone card, but I have to jump through all these hoops to get it. First, I need to send in a copy of my passport, and add a passport picture, AND have a residential address before they will let me buy the SIM card. Now this guy who has a driver’s licence and could get it for me, they come up with another hurdle. Anyway, I took my phone and money back, and waited the rain out while catching up on some reading (work – related.)

When the rain abated, I went downstairs to ask where I could catch the bus to work. The previous day the receptionists had told me that I could take either the 204/1 or the 33 to work. Today when I asked them, they said they didn’t know, and that the best way would be by cab, which would cost me upwards of 50 rupees. I knew for a fact that the bus wouldn’t be more than 10 rupees, so I found it a little ridic (thanks to Elizabeth, Yale 08 for that term!) that I would pay five times that amount. Having prayed to God for strength, and feeling pretty positive about the day, I went and stood at the bus stop (which, thankfully, was right in front of the hotel). The bus stop even had a sign board that listed the different buses that stopped there. As usual, I drew a lot of stares from passersby, and one lady who was waiting at the bus stop with me finally met my eye. I smiled at her and she smiled back. J Anyway, you wouldn’t have believed that it had just rained, because it was as hot and muggy as it was the day before.

Once the 204/1 came around, I moved towards it, but before I climbed on I asked the lady who had returned my smile if the bus was going to Hazra road. She said it was, so I got on. I wasn’t sure where I was going to get off, but I knew it was called Allenbury Stop, which was the name of the institution or building that the bus stopped in front of. It was a pretty long trip, at least 20-30 minutes, as there was a bit of traffic. I spent most of the trip standing as there were no seats available. What I remember most about the journey was that the song “Bananza” by Akon started playing on the bus’s radio, and it took me back to the DASAC dance with Stephanie. I was a bit amazed that the song was playing on the bus, mainly because the bus had all these symbols and pictures of Hindu deities, and I wouldn’t have expected globalization to hit the bus. But I digress.

The bus got me to Allenbury Stop, and the “mate” as we would call him in Ghana (or bus conductor to the non-Ghanaians) was quite nice. Every time I called him to ask how much the journey cost, he would just incline his and hold up his palm, telling me to wait head (the inclining of the head seems to be a cultural thing, because most of the people here at the hotel and even at work also incline their head several times when talking to me. I don’t know if it means they understand or don’t understand me.). When we finally got to my stop, he told me it was Rs. 5 (five rupees) and stopped the bus for me. I got to work at 2pm, which wasn’t too much later than 1:30pm.

The lady I met yesterday, Anindita, wasn’t at work today, but she had left me in the care of another staff member, Anamitra, who quickly dished out lunch for me and told me we would talk after I ate. Lunch was plain boiled rice, with a potato and eggplant thick gravy, a Dal (some greenish soup of some kind, a little salty), and the sauce that the fish was served in. It was quite good, and I got full pretty quickly. While I was eating, I had the chance to chat with Anu, one of the staff members there, and she left me feeling very much at ease and comforted, and I wasn’t as worried about my stay here in Kolkata as I was a few days ago. I also met her mother, who volunteers at the organization, and a young man who just graduated with a Masters in Psychology and was also volunteering at Swayam. I took a picture with some of them before I went upstairs with Anamitra. She gave me some publications to read, including how to deal with women who are suicidal as a result of domestic violence. They also had internet access, so I nipped on there quickly and checked email.

Anu came out and asked me to sort out some papers they had to use, so I spent most of the afternoon doing that. Anamitra got someone to make us coffee. After the morning’s experience with “tea” at the hotel, I was a little worried. The coffee was amazing! It was exactly like how my mom used to have it back in Ghana. It was instant coffee (of course!!), pretty thick, and with a lot of milk and sugar (and this time it was good milk!). I finished it in record time (even though I was sweltering in the heat), and got another mug, this time accompanied by some biscuits. By the time I was done, it was 5pm, and the office close at 6pm. Anu had mentioned to me that she knew a lady down the road who usually hosted young people working with the organization, and she said she would contact her for me to check whether she had any space available. I was pretty excited by that, because it meant I would have a homestay near to the workplace, and wouldn’t have to struggle with the bus everyday (though it was a memorable experience.)

I went back onto my email account to send a quick message to one of the STA travel agents because I had received an email saying that I had a booking I was yet to pay for. Since she hadn’t told me what dates the booking was for, and I had no other information but this single email, I asked for clarification. I then shut down the computer, and went downstairs to meet Anu. She called the lady, who said she would charge me Rs. 800 per day, with breakfast and dinner included. That’s a little less than ten dollars a day for food and lodging, as opposed to the Rs. 900 I’m paying right now at the hotel, with no food included. We made an appointment for me to look over her house tomorrow. I’m quite excited about that.

With that settled, I left the office to try my luck with the bus. It gets dark pretty quickly over here. I think the sun sets around 5:15pm. This was the first time I’d been pretty far from the hotel and it had been this dark. Some men started hollering in the street when they saw me. I wasn’t sure whether they were calling me or not, but I didn’t turn, just kept walking towards where I thought the bus might stop. No buses seemed to come, and the few that came by were not the right ones. I saw a lady standing a little further down the road, and went to ask her if that was the bus stop. She said yes. I saw this old man selling pawpaw, pineapples, bananas, and another fruit I didn’t recognize. I tried to get his attention but his mind was somewhere else until another friend called out to him, and he finally saw me. I asked how much a piece was, and he said Rs. 4, so I bought one. He made a container using toothpicks and some leaves, so that it looked like a cross between a calabash and ….actually, the best description is that it looked like a navy sailor’s cap, the one the young sailors wear. It was quite skillful. He chopped up the pineapple into the navy hat-like receptacle, and then, wonder of all wonders, he sprinkled salt on it and tossed the pieces to spread the salt evenly. LOL! I tried to get him to stop but he had already done it. I paid him, got my change, and went to wait for the bus. I was a little scared to taste it, but it wasn’t too bad. It was an experience. I mean, next time I get pineapple, I’ll be quick to add that I don’t want salt, but I’m glad I tried it. (I’m growing up, eh? Hehehe…)

The 204/1 finally arrived, and guess what? It was the SAME bus I had taken that morning. The “mate” recognized me and smiled at me. The bus was very full, and I had to stand again. I didn’t mind too much. It was on this return journey that I noticed that the bus was actually demarcated into Ladies’ seats and Gents’ seats. I hadn’t noticed that the other two times I had been on the bus. J I didn’t even try to give the mate money this time, because I figured he would let me know when it was time. When I thought we were getting nearer to my stop (which I found out was called Ladies’ Park), I told him, and he told me it was Rs. 5. He beckoned me when the stop drew near, and stopped the bus for me. I hope I get to pick his bus again. Across the road was the Marina Hotel. I now had to cross the road and ensure that I wasn’t run over. I tell you, crossing the streets here in Kolkata is a risky adventure. Each side of the road is wide enough for three cars (has three car lanes), and pedestrian crossings are few and far between. You basically have to time the cars, autorickshaws, motorbikes and bicycles to make sure you are not run over.

I finally made it across the road, tipped the security guy at the gate Rs. 5 (because he always greeted me and had a smile on his face), and walked into the hotel feeling pretty good with myself. I had had a full day and been pretty adventurous, if I may say so myself. I got my room key, and sat down to cool down a bit, since I was pouring sweat! I watched some music videos on the VH1 channel, worked on my notes a bit, then decided to work out a bit since I was already sweaty. I did 22minutes of Winsor Pilates, then took a lovely shower.

For dinner, I ordered Palak Paneer, which they didn’t have, so I settled for Paneer Tikka Butter Masala without the butter, plain rice, a bottle of water, and a chicken wrap. Even though I asked for no butter, they had substituted cream for it, and put the cream in the middle. I must say it wasn’t as good as I thought it was, although the chicken wrap was amazing as usual. This was third time I’ve had the chicken wrap. I should have just stuck to my guts and ordered a paneer wrap with my chicken wrap. It would have cost less (the total for the two is Rs. 42), tasted better, and filled me much better than the tikka masala did. I wanted to taste different things, so I don’t really regret ordering it.

I watched quite a bit of TV while doing some reading for work. The shows I saw were Friends, The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Will and Grace, and E! News. All in all, I had a fabulous day, and I feel I’m progressing a bit from my initial afraid-and-lonely state, to a cautious-but-willing-to-try state. I’m still a bit apprehensive, but I’m not as frightened and nervous as I was when I first got here.

(The only downer on my almost perfect day was that I waited for a certain somebody to call so I could share the good news, but the call never came. Oh well, you can’t win all of them, can you?) It’s now 2:30am over here, which means it’s 2pm on the West Coast, and 5pm on the East Coast. I’m now going to bed. Hope your day was as good as mine. Stay blessed!

PS: He called Friday morning.

TV Shows along the way

2006-10-16T07:40:00.000-07:00

I just noticed that I’ve been watching quite a bit of TV along the way. It’s a nice way to get to know the local culture, and it makes a great segue for conversations in different places (so does knitting. I’ve made quite a few acquaintances while knitting on the trains back and forth from England. It also helped when I stayed overnight in the domestic terminal of the Mumbai airport. This lovely lady Aishah and her husband were just returning from a holiday in Mauritius, and she asked me to watch their seats for them. When they came back, she struck up a conversation with me and asked me what I was making. They then gave me the husband’s business card and Aishah’s cellphone number, saying that I could call them whenever if I needed any help. How nice!!).

In Worthing, UK:
Big Brother
Love Island

In Crawley, UK:
Emmerdale
Coronation Street
EastEnders
Inspector Linley Series
The Bill
Diel and Pesco
Last of the Summer Wine
Only Fools and Horses
CSI :Miami
CSI: New York

In Thornton Heath, UK:
Eve
One on One
All of Us
My Wife and Kids
Girlfriends
That’s So Raven
The Suite Life of Zack and Cody
Two and a Half Men
Freddie
MTV Base
B4U Hits
Beats, Rhymes and Life
Other assorted music channels

In London, UK:
BBC News
This Morning (a talk show)
The Sharon Osbourne Show
Deal or No Deal
The Weakest Link
Who wants to be a millionaire?

In Kolkata, India:
Monk
MTV Cribs
A lot of old Barbra Streisand movies
Pop up Video
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno
24
CNN News
Bollywood movie music videos (they only show snippets of the videos, never the full thing)
Friends (early seasons)
CSI:Miami
Boston Legal
Baywatch (just bits of. I never stay on that channel if Baywatch is on.)
Inside the Actors’ Studio
E! News

Wednesday 11th October, 2006 – Interesante

2006-10-16T07:36:00.000-07:00

I woke up around 1pm today. I had made an appointment at Swayam to come in around 3pm to talk about my work and how I would be working with them. Inam, one of the workers here at the Marina Hotel, had volunteered to take me to Mother Teresa’s house, so we left for there around 2:15pm. When we got there, we were told that public viewing was from 3pm – 6pm, so I turned to leave. Actually, I’m jumping the gun.

Inam and I took a taxi to Mother Teresa’s house. Once we got down, this random guy standing by the road, noticing that I was a foreigner, started making a big show like he was pointing me to the house, when in the first place, I was with a guide, and secondly, there was a big sign on the house stating clearly that this was Mother Teresa’s house. After we had been told the viewing times and we turned to leave, the man started asking for money, claiming that he needed money for milk for his infant. It sounds pretty cold and callous of me, that I didn’t give him money, but I didn’t like his tactics. It might seem like a big generalization, but I have been feeling like some people want money for not doing anything, mainly because they think I’m a tourist and I have lots of money to spare. It is quite frustrating.

We then took a taxi to take me to Hazra Road, where the Swayam office was located. The taxi driver didn’t know where it was. He took us to the wrong place, and charged Rs. 53. We got down and asked for directions, and walked for about thirty minutes before we ended up in the right place. It was quite a workout, as I had my backpack with me, and Kolkata is hot. J I met up with Anindita, and had a nice chat. When I left, it was almost 5pm, and the sun had set. Inam was getting antsy because he was usually home around 2:30pm, and he said his wife would get angry at him.

We took an auto-rickshaw to the end of the street (that was quite a lot of fun! I wish someone had taken a picture of me in there.), and then caught a bus to the end of that main road, where we crossed over to Park Street. Inam took me through the houses from Park Street to the street where the hotel was, instead of just walking by the main road. It was pretty convoluted, and the place reminded me very much of Nima (in Ghana). We saw some watermelon and bought Rs.10 worth.

Once we got to the hotel, Inam said he would go get me a SIM card. I gave him Rs. 300 for the SIM card, took out my UK SIM card and gave him my handset. I also gave him Rs. 100 for taking me around. He kept saying that I should give him the SIM card when I was leaving, so I asked him if he would pay me back for the SIM. He smiled and shook his head, and said that after I had returned it to him, I should later on buy him a handset. Can you believe that? I asked him if he thought I was rich, and he smiled, saying that I could get him one for Rs. 2000. I felt sad and disappointed in him, because I thought he was one of the few who didn’t want to take me for all he could get.

My hotel room has TV with about seventy channels, including VH1, and the Zee channels that show western sitcoms, soaps, shows and movies. It’s pretty fun and comforting. Garnier seems to have a big market here in India as they have a lot of ads on TV for different products I didn’t even know they made. I’ve been here three nights (technically), and I’ve been to the internet café two of those nights. I therefore decided to adhere a little more to the Watson spirit and not go to the café tonight. My parents called me right after I had made that decision, and I was very happy to hear from them. My mom is with my dad at the moment, so it was lovely to chat with both of them and hear their voices. Twum called me last night and early this morning (which was nighttime on the west coast of the US). I had been feeling a bit lonely till then, so I was happy to hear from my family. I had been told earlier today that the West Bengali area is known for it’s fish dishes, which is why I ordered Fish Tikka Butter Masala and plain rice and a bottle of water from the hotel’s restaurant. I hadn’t eaten the whole day so I pretty much wolfed the food down, after which I promptly fell asleep. This was around 7pm. LOL!!

I woke up later with a really bad headache, due to the fact that I hadn’t eaten much earlier that day nor drunk enough water. I took some medicine, chatted with Twum on the phone, and went to bed around 4am. It was a pretty okay day.

Tuesday 10th October, 2006 – Totally jetlagged

2006-10-16T07:29:00.000-07:00

Since I went to bed so late, I woke up around 3pm, but I still couldn’t keep my eyes open, so I went back to bed till 5pm. J When I woke up, I ordered a veggie wrap and a chicken wrap and a bottle of water. When I was done, I went out to the café to check mail. On my way to the café, I stopped at an Airtel ( a phone company) office to enquire about getting a SIM card. I was told I had to bring a passport, passport photo, and a cell phone to them. When I did, they told me that I needed to have a residence address, so I should ask the hotel owner for a letter, on the hotel’s letterhead, saying that I was staying at the hotel. The hotel of course wouldn’t do it, so I’m stuck with no SIM card. I can’t quite believe that it’s so hard to get a prepaid SIM card.

Twum was online on Gmail when I got to the café. He said he had been waking up intermittently between 4am and 7am to see whether I was online( how sweet, no?). We had an interesting conversation, and he said he would call later that evening. I had also gone there to get the Indian access numbers for the STA phone card I had. I was there for a bit, but around 10pm, I realized that I was the only female there so I decided to leave. I got back to my room, did a bit of reading and writing up notes, till Twum called and we had a nice long chat. He called again a few hours later, and then the following morning (which was night for him). It was nice to hear from someone at home. So that was my Tuesday. Not too eventful.

Monday, 9th October, 2006 – Arrival in Kolkata

2006-10-16T07:26:00.000-07:00

Apparently domestic flights are not allowed to take off late at night, so I had to stay over in the domestic terminal of the Mumbai Airport till 7am when boarding started for my flight to Kolkata. I saw two black women there in that terminal, and they actually came to sit next to me. It was pretty nice to see that. I was sitting down alternating between knitting and reading. Once my flight was called, I boarded a bus to the airplane. My seat was 03C. It was in the first class part of the plane. I thought I had the wrong number so I went further into the plane. One of the flight attendants came to my aid and directed me back to the first class section. I was pleasantly surprised, and kept wondering when the right owner of the seat would arrive. I relaxed a bit more when the plane took off.

It seems one of the trademarks on the Indian airlines is the provision of wet towels. On my flight to India from London, we were given hot towels. On this flight to Kolkata, we were given cold towels (because the weather was hot enough). We were also fed wonderful Indian food, with lovely desserts. My flight to Kolkata was a lot of fun. I actually nodded off right after eating because I had stayed awake the whole night ( I didn’t want to risk missing my flight.)

When we arrived in Kolkata, I started getting nervous pangs. My arrival in Mumbai had not made me that nervous because I still hadn’t arrived at my destination. This was it, though. I had to manage over here, without knowing anyone nor the language nor the system. I got my luggage with no hassle, and now had to figure out how to get to my hotel. I was pretty scared. I asked a lady standing next to me how to get a cab, and she said I should just go outside and take one.

I saw that there was an internet café in the departure hall, and I thought I would go send a quick email to my family and friends that I had arrived safely. I couldn’t leave my luggage outside the café, and no one in there seemed to be paying me any attention, so I just went outside to find a cab. I ignored the first few drivers who hailed me, but finally stopped to talk to one of them who was pretty persistent. He said he would charge me Rs. 800, and I finally negotiated to Rs. 650. I felt pretty proud of myself. I gave him my address, but he said that hotel wasn’t good, so he took me to one called Kings Hotel, which was pretty near the airport. Their rates were a bit expensive, so I said no, and we headed off into the city. He took me to a hotel called Hotel Royale (I think), which was pretty posh. The cheapest room was about Rs. 1200 per night, and I didn’t think that was a wise way of spending. The lady at the reception recommended a sister hotel that was a little bit cheaper. The driver took me there, and I ended up paying him Rs. 700 to thank him for his hard work (although he had overcharged me a bit).

I was shown my room and asked if I liked it, and I said yes. After checking in/registering, I promptly fell asleep because I was so tired. This was around noon. I woke up at 5:30pm, and went downstairs to get some food from the restaurant, only to be told that there was a strike, so no store or restaurant would be open till 6pm. I finally left for the internet café around 6:30pm, chatted with Christelle on Gmail and sent email to let folks know that I had arrived safely. Just as I was definitely starting to feel that I was the only black person around, a group of US students came, and two of them were black; Octavia and Brendan. Octavia spoke with a Texas accent, like my friend Kristina Ross, and it was just to nice to talk to her.

After using the net for a while, I went back to the hotel and ordered a chicken wrap and a paneer wrap, with a bottle of soda. I went back upstairs and was up till 5am because I couldn’t fall asleep, and also because I was hoping my family would call. (I found out that sermons by Creflo Dollar was broadcast on one of the TV channels, Star World I think, in the morning. So was the program by Kenneth Copeland and his wife. Interesting. )

And that, was my first day in India.

8th October, 2006 –Voyage to India

2006-10-14T11:24:00.000-07:00

I left for India at 9:30am on the 8^th of October, from terminal 3 of London Heathrow Airport. The plane ride was lovely, as there were only two of us in the middle four seats where I sat. I fell asleep even before the plane took off, and slept for almost three hours. The airline was called Jet Airways, and it was a pretty lovely trip. The food was amazing, and got me even more excited about going to India. Their movie selection was also pretty good, and after I woke up I watched a documentary about a trip Aishwarya Rai, who is one of the leading actresses in India (and the lead in Bride and Prejudice), made to visit Indian soldiers serving on the cold, mountainous frontier with Pakistan. That was fun. Then, I watched Jennifer Aniston’s new movie “Friends with Money,” which was an oddball comedy if I ever saw one. It was pretty funny and sad at the same time. I finally gave in and decided to watch “The Da Vinci code” but did not get far into it as we were getting close to Mumbai. I must admit that although there were a number of Indians on the plane, I still saw a lot of Caucasian people on the plane, and was totally unprepared for the sight of many Indian people at the airport. As we walked into the immigration desk, there were transit rooms on our left, and I saw one black person sitting there waiting. I had only noticed that I was the only black person on the plane a few minutes before we disembarked, so I was quite happy to see a fellow black, although she didn’t even see me.

At the immigration desk, the officer asked for my passport and disembarkment form. After checking my passport for a while, he called another officer to come and check it out. They would look at me, and then at my photo, and then back at me, and back at the photo. Then the second officer called another officer to come take a look at me. It was a bit funny, but I was too tired to find it funny. Besides, I had a few other things weighing on my mind, so I had a pretty down disposition. The third officer finally asked me to sign a piece of paper so they could compare signatures. I then offered them a look at my ISIC card, and they looked at it. I think my signature convinced them, and the third officer commented that I looked happy in my passport picture but was not smiling at the moment. I told him that I had been traveling for a while and was a little tired. He then said that I wouldn’t need my red jacket while here, and then they let me go. Everyone else from my plane had already passed through and I was the last person to leave the immigration station.

I got my luggage with very little hassle, and set off for customs. At customs, we had to have our bags screened again. There, one of the officials questioned me about my laptop, and wanted to know whether I had more than one laptop. I said I didn’t, and that it was just some wires, and they let me go. From there I changed 45 pounds to get Rs. 3690 (rate is 1 pound = Rs. 84). To leave the hall, I had to give a customs slip to an officer at the door. I stopped at a booth to ask directions to the domestic terminal.

I had to take a left to get into another hall, where my luggage was screened again, and then I was able to check in. I needed to use the bathroom after this, and I decided to go right then since I didn’t know where I would find the next bathroom. Once I entered, these two women, sensing (obviously!) that I was a foreigner, basically ripped me off. One of them jumped up to wipe the toilet seat (which wasn’t dirty), and when I finished using the toilet, she pressed the soap dispenser for me, and gave me a paper towel to use, all things I could have done myself. I knew she expected to be paid, but what shocked me even more was that the other lady who had just lain on the floor the whole time also stretched out her hand for money. They said they wanted English money. Ha!! I told them I didn’t have any, and asked how much they wanted. They just kept mumbling to each other and stretching out their palm. I finally gave them Rs. 50, and went back into the terminal to wait for a coach that would take me to the domestic terminal. ($1 = Rs. 44.8).

It was on the coach that I broke down and cried, because everything felt so foreign, and I felt so conspicuous and alone. In retrospect, I think I was the only black person on the plane. It shouldn’t have mattered, but at the point in time it mattered a whole lot. Once I had composed myself, I started observing my surroundings. We drove around a cargo yard, with big containers and boxes. The driver was skillfully maneuvering through all of them.

I got to the domestic terminal without incident. The security gates weren’t open, so we (the other passengers and myself) sat down wherever we could find. I sat on the tiled edge of a flowerbed (pretty wide edge). I struck up a conversation with a guy called Sachin, who had come on the same flight from the UK with me and was waiting for a domestic connection to another town. He had just completed a two year Masters Program in Computing at the University of East London. He was planning to move to the US to find a job. I asked him for tips on surviving here in India and how to not get ripped off.

We later moved to quickly grab some seats that had just been vacated, and I did a bit of knitting. I struck up a conversation with a couple due to my knitting, so that was fun. As the morning dawned, people on my flight were asked to proceed to the security gate. I got checked out, but as my backpack went through the screening machine, they tagged it, and asked a female official to search through it. There was no hassle after that, and I proceeded to the seating area, where I waited for about three more hours before my flight was called and I got on the bus. Quite a long day!

1st – 8th October, 2006: A Totally Wicked Week!!!

2006-10-14T11:20:00.000-07:00

Twum arrived at 9am on 1^st October, which was a Sunday. I didn’t sleep the night before because I was a little afraid that I wouldn’t wake up in time. I had spent the previous day baking about two and a half pounds of cake. Anyway, I got to Heathrow Airport around 9:40am, and made it to the arrival gate. I thought I had missed him, but there was a notice above the arrival gate that said that passengers would appear there at least 45 minutes after arrival. I felt I was well within the time limit, but I was a little worried that he might have come out already. He finally came through the gate around 10:20am, and I convinced him to take the underground with me. We made it to Victoria station with no problem and got to the hotel to check in. Were we in for a big surprise!!

Luke, the guest services manager we had met the first week we were there, had changed Twum’s booking from their sister hotel to the Victoria Park Plaza. Once he had checked in, we were given an executive lounge pass also. Our room was on the eight floor. We thought it would be like the first one, but it as actually an executive apartment!! We had a small stove top with two burners, a fridge (not a minibar!), and couches and stuff. We also had a glass dining table, a microwave, saucepans, lots of plates, cutlery and glasses, and a knife set. It was amazing! We were like little children, moving around and touching everything.

Later that night we went out to look for food and found a lovely Chinese restaurant that served the best fried rice ever (we both agreed on that). As Twum’s mother had provided us with shito, we had a lovely meal. The next day we went over to Kathy’s place in Thornton Heath to collect my stuff, and got a minicab from there back to the hotel for less than thirty pounds. Once we had deposited the luggage in the room, we went out to get some groceries. We ordered two servings of the rice this time, and then went to Sainsbury’s right across the road. As they were about to close, they had cooked whole chicken on sale for two pounds and eighty-nine pence. We quickly grabbed one of those, bought some vegetables and fruit, and juice. We also grabbed a bottle of Sangria. It was one of the best meals ever!!

The next day Twum went to work, and I contacted a number of organizations in the area I wanted to visit. Most of them asked me to call back, and said they would contact me later on in the day. I went back to the room and did a bit of reading. The previous week I had picked up two tickets for the musical “Wicked”, the story of the witches of Oz. We were to go watch it that night, but Twum had forgotten that he had a video conferencing meeting at 9pm that night. We went to the show though, and he left after the first half for his meeting, while I stayed and watched the second half. It was quite a good musical. I wanted to watch it again.

On Wednesday he went to work again and I went to visit my aunt Vivian and her husband David in Milton Keynes, a town/city about an hour outside London. I got there around 2pm. It was loads of fun!! It’s always a perk to eat Ghanaian food, and my aunt made me banku with tilapia and light soup. Oh, it was wonderful. She also called my mom in Ghana, and we both chatted with her. She was having lunch at the time. Later on when her husband came back from work, we kept chatting. When I was ready to leave, they gave me money ( I don’t like it when I visit people and they do that, especially when they had been so nice to me already), and Sis. Vivian packed up some banku and tilapia and soup, beans stew, and chicken stew for me to take with me. She also gave me some fresh ripe plantains and uncooked rice, to add to the stews she had already given me. She also gave me a six-pack of a malt drink. So nice and generous of them! I didn’t know how to thank them, but they seemed genuinely happy to see me, so that was nice.

I got back and wanted to make some of the banku for Twum, but he wasn’t feeling like it, so we decided to have breakfast for dinner, heating up some baked beans, making an omelette full of veggies, with bread and tea. It was a lovely dinner.

The next day I headed to Worthing to visit the WORTH project and say goodbye. I got there around 11am. It was raining and the weather was not particularly friendly, but I went anyway. I took along one of the cakes I had baked, as I knew they had their weekly meetings on Thursday and could have the cake with their tea. I was supposed to go visit the Newham Action Against Domestic Violence (NAADV) on my way back from Worthing, but it would have taken me at least three hours to make it from Worthing to Beckton, in East London. I called them, and they said to come the next day. I called Twum and told him I was done for the day, and headed back to the hotel.

He turned up around 6pm with one of his former interns in tow. The intern, Daniel ( I think), was doing a study abroad term in London, so he stopped in to have a drink with us. We sat downstairs in the hotel lounge. Twum and I were cold so we ordered hot chocolates, and Daniel had a Beck’s beer. There was a man performing at the bar, playing some lovely oldies and classics. All in all, it was a pretty mellow mood. After Dan left, we went upstairs and had fried plantain and beans for dinner. I packed the leftover for Twum to take to work the next day.

The next morning (Friday) I had a 9am appointment, so I was up at 7am, and out of the door by 8am. I had to go to London Bridge to visit the Greater London Domestic Violence Project, to chat with one of the caseworkers at 9am, and another caseworker at 10am. It was raining again, but it wasn’t as cold as it had been the day before. I met Chelsea, a caseworker who had just moved to London from Australia, and she told me about the domestic violence scene in Australia. It was a nice surprise and addition to my work. The other caseworker was held up by the rain and delayed trains, so I couldn’t meet with her. I called the NAADV office and asked if I could come in earlier, and they said yes.

I had to take the Docklands Light Rail to Beckton, where NAADV was located. The platform was so crowded that I couldn’t get on the first train that arrived, and had to wait for thirteen minutes before the next one. I almost didn’t make that one, but I broke free from the crowd and run down the platform to one car that didn’t have many people getting on, and squeezed myself inside. It turned out that most of the people were going just two stops down, to the ExCEL house or something like that, so the train car was pretty much empty all the way to Beckton, the last stop.

I had to do a bit of walking past an ASDA, to make it to the NAADV office. There, I met a lovely lady called Cheryl, who was the adult services coordinator. She gave me a run-down of what the organization did, and how the organization started. It was pretty nice, and I hope to visit again if I’m back in London this year. I was done by 1:30pm, so I left and called Twum on the way. I went into ASDA hoping to get something to eat, but there was nothing there that struck my fancy, and I just bought a cup of yogurt that I ate on the train. I got back to Victoria around 3pm, where I had the banku for lunch/dinner. Twum arrived just a few hours later and had his plantain and beans with the leftover chicken.

We were supposed to go clubbing that evening with Twum’s friend Edwin, Kathy and her siblings. My friend Laura also wanted to have coffee, so I asked her to come over, around 7pm. Edwin also came over around 10pm, and we ended up chatting the whole night till almost 1am. I made jollof rice with the chicken stew and rice, and made a stirfry with the veggies and shrimp we had in the fridge. We all had a bit of that, and had some of my cake for dessert. Laura (she’s Korean born in Argentina, and lives in US. J ) loved the shito we ate with the rice, and kept eating just so she could eat more shito. It was a lovely evening.

Saturday Twum and I just chilled and did our packing, since we were both leaving the next day. Luke took us to dinner at the hotel’s restaurant. It was a lovely meal, and we couldn’t thank him enough for his kindness and the care he had shown us during our stay. He actually hadn’t even know that Twum worked for Google, and was pleased to hear that, since Google had just opened an account with the hotel. We went to bed around 11pm, and woke up at 5:30am to get the minicab at 6:30am, as my flight was at 9:30am. Luke had been really thoughtful and packed us breakfast to go, so I had my breakfast after checking in, and Twum and I chilled for a little while. I went to join the security line around 8:45am, and got to the gate just as they started boarding. My seat was at the back, so I was one of the first to board, which was good.

I called Twum after settling in, and we talked till my credit got finished. I sent a text message to Kathy to let her know I was leaving, and I think I fell asleep before the plane even took off.

Goodbye UK, Hello India!!

24th September – 1st October, 2006: Life in limbo

2006-10-14T11:16:00.000-07:00

Early this week I found out that some friends from Amherst were actually here in the UK for various Masters programs. Two are at LSE and one is at Oxford. Emily and Laura (the ones at LSE) wanted to meet up for dinner on Tuesday night. I was hoping to go to the Indian embassy to pick up my visa before meeting them for dinner, since the embassy was in the same area we were meeting for dinner (Holborn. LSE is also located there.). I however did not make it out of Thornton heath in time (as usual), so I got there just in time to meet the other girls in front of the Holborn station and we set off to find a good place to eat. We walked and chatted for a while. Actually, Di, another girl from Amherst who was staying in London with her boyfriend and looking for a job, joined us for dinner. We walked and walked and even saw the theatre house were Ashlee Simpson is playing Roxie Hart in Chicago.

We finally settled on a sushi place, where we sat down and had a lovely meal and took funny pics (they are on facebook for those who are members of that site. I’ll put up pictures later). Di left to give some stuff to a friend, and we the remaining three chatted for a while until Di returned, then we paid the tab and walked around looking for a place to have coffee and dessert. We walked and walked (again! Hehehe…it wasn’t that bad), until we finally settled on this café/restaurant that had seats outside, and outdoor lamps that gave both light and heat. Emily ordered ice cream, Di a coffee drink and Laura and I split a pecan pie with ice cream and whipped cream. It was a pretty fun night.

I left on the underground with Emily, who got off just a few stops from that station (I think we set off from Piccadilly Square. I could be wrong). When I got to Green Park where I had to switch to the Victoria line, I bumped into Kathy who was on her way home from work. (Kathy is the friend I was staying with at Thornton Heath.) We continued the journey home together, getting down at Norbury station instead of Thornton Heath station, and continuing by bus to the house. Kathy explained to me that the Thornton Heath station wasn’t a safe place to stand at night, which is why we were getting down at the Norbury station. And that was the end of the Tuesday night.

I finally picked up my visa and got tickets for Twum and I to go see Wicked , a musical show, next week. I also went to the Victoria STA Travel office to look for tickets from London to Trinidad, and I baked a lot of cake on Saturday the 30th of September. :) I'll put up pics later because they take too long to upload, and it's already pretty late.

Last batch of tour pictures

2006-10-14T11:04:00.000-07:00

Here's the last batch of pictures: Westminster Abbey, the Big Ben clock, and the Battle of Britain memorial.

More pictures from the London Tours

2006-10-14T10:48:00.000-07:00

More pictures: That's Twum and me on the Thames Boat Trip, The london eye, the tower bridge, the tower of london, and another shot of the tower bridge.

Pictures from London Tour

2006-10-14T10:21:00.000-07:00

Here a few pictures from the Blood & Tears Tour, and the Big Bus London tour that Twum and I took. There's the Battle of Britain Memorial, an old inn immortalized by Charles Dickens, me sticking out my tongue during the Blood & Tears tour, a plaque honoring William Wallace (the real Braveheart), and Niketown, a store at Oxford Circus.

15th -23rd September, 2006 – Just chillaxing

2006-10-14T10:17:00.000-07:00

Once Twum arrived, I settled into a bit of ADIDAS – eating and sleeping, knitting and typing up notes. I finally made it to the Indian embassy on Friday the 15th and got my application in. I was told to come back in a week’s time to get it. We met one of Twum’s colleagues who gave us his executive lounge pass so we could get free breakfast. Even more, we somehow befriended the Guest Services Manager at the hotel who was really lovely (and proudly gay!) and he gave us executive passes of our own, so we could use the lounge for breakfast and whenever we wanted. (They had free desserts during the day. You know I dropped in pretty often! J. The desserts were to-die-for!)

We spent some time over at Kathy’s doing laundry, and we had dinner over there a number of times also. We even went over with Annabelle to Baba’s Foundation, a Ghanaian restaurant, and bought some dinner. We actually slept over on Saturday night, then left Sunday afternoon to meet up with one of Twum’s friends from Achimota. Edwin met us in Croydon to take us to a sale at Purley Way, where we wanted to get a phone for Twum’s brother at a cheaper price. When we got there we learnt that it was in fact an auction, and that the afternoon section was closed. We decided not to wait for the evening section, and set off back to London. We made plans to meet up with Edwin for a movie that night, but those plans fell through, and we just ended up staying in.

The week went by with Twum going to work during the day and coming back in the evening to have dinner with me. Monday the 18^th was my birthday, so I took it pretty cool. We went to visit Twum’s aunt and cousin at Wembley Park later that evening, and bought a toffee sponge cake in celebration of my birthday from ASDA. On Wednesday evening Twum came back from work all pumped up and excited about going to visit some tourist places. We decided to go on a tour, The Blood and Tears London Tour, led by an Irishman called Declan McHugh. The tour was about the different murders and murderers, and the bloody history of England. It was pretty interesting, and we walked for about two and a half hours. The next day Twum and I went on the Big Bus Tour of London, and took a boat ride on the Thames. It was quite a lot of fun. Later that evening we tried to go to Wembley Park to get some stuff from Twum’s aunt Vida, for his parents, but they weren’t around, so we went to Thornton Heath to get stuff for my family and friends. Twum was leaving for Ghana on Saturday morning. (We had actually planned to go to Scotland that weekend in celebration of my birthday, but we couldn’t go because we found out that Twum’s flight was on Saturday morning, not Sunday morning.)

The next day (Friday), I called the Indian embassy and was told that my visa was ready. Since I had about two hours before the embassy closed, I decided to take a bus there instead of the underground. I wish I had known what a horrible idea it was before I did it. But you mostly learn by experience, no? So, I took Bus 8 to Holborn. I tell you, sometimes I act like I’m completely dumb. I didn’t know the bus route, and where in Holborn I should get off. I wasted more than an hour on that bus, and I did not make it to the embassy to get my visa. I finally got down at Bethnal Green, which is pretty far away from Holborn, took the Central Line from there to Liverpool Street, then took the Circle Line to Victoria. I was quite mad at myself. If I had at least gotten the visa after all that trouble, I would have been happier.

Twum left for Ghana early Saturday morning. His flight was at 7am from Heathrow. We had to go get stuff from his aunt on Friday evening, and came back to the hotel around 11pm. We finished packing and took a shower before going to bed around 1:30am. We asked for a wake-up call at 3:30am and took a black cab to the airport. That cost about 60 pounds. Really expensive!!! I stayed in line with Twum and got him checked in, and then we went upstairs to wait for the security gates to be opened. I think they had a specific time, around 5am, when the gates could be opened. There was already a long line snaking down to the arrivals end of the hall. Twum and I spend most of the time observing people, and trying to figure out when Twum should go and join the line. We finally joined the line at around 5:30am, and Twum got in around 6am. He called me on the cell phone, and because he had signed up for the Vodaphone deal where he would pay for three minutes of talk time, and get to talk for 57minutes more for free, I stayed in the outside departure area for a while chatting with him on the phone till he got on the plane and the plane departed. I was quite tired.

I bought some coffee and chocolate cake from the Costa Café in the departure area, but the cake turned out to be dry and quite a disappointment. It tasted like it had been made from a box. I went back to the hotel to collect my things, and then went on to Thornton Heath. Instead of going to bed, I stayed up checking email, browsing the web and watching TV. Later on when the household woke up, Annabelle and Thomas talked me into going to get my hair done that day. I therefore set out with Annabelle to Croydon to a Ghanaian hair braiding store, where I got my hair done by a guy! Imagine that! And a Ghanaian guy no less. So that was my first week with my husband. J

1st -14th September, 2006 – Moving time, and Trip to Cardiff, Wales

2006-10-14T10:11:00.000-07:00

I moved to Thornton Heath on the 1^st of September. Yup, I’m a month late, but I still wanted to write out what happened to me, because so much has happened to me. My first week at Thornton Heath, I spent most of the time resting from the hectic work schedule and typing out the notes I had taken while at WORTH. That Thursday, I went back to Worthing to interview a lady who works at the refuge based in that town.

The following week I took a short trip to Cardiff, in Wales on Monday the 11^th of September. I tried to go to the Indian consulate before catching the train to Cardiff, but there were train delays on the way to Victoria, so I had to go straight to London Paddington station to catch the train to Cardiff. Once I got to the Central Station in Cardiff, it was just a short walk from there to the NosDa Budget Hotel where I was staying. I had booked a bed in a four-bed dormitory. I was the only person in the room when I arrived, so I was pretty happy. However, I had to mail my tickets to Sri Lanka and India to the STA office in Rhode Island that was working with me on my itinerary, so I asked for directions to the post office and walked there. On my way there it started raining and I got a little wet. I quickly dashed into the post office and mailed my tickets. By the time I came out it was just drizzling. I realized then that I hadn’t eaten since breakfast and it was past 4:30pm. I went in to an eatery called Pizza Hot 4 U, and bought chips (French fries) with chicken and salad, chatted with a lady from Turkey and a guy called Imran who both worked there. From there I went to an internet café next door to check email. I also helped a South African woman sitting next to me to get some forms for work, and chatted with a Spanish guy who was sitting on my other side. I also tried to have an MSN audio chat with Twum, but the microphone attached to the PC wasn’t working, so he spoke and I responded by typing.

On my way back to the hostel, I had to dash to another hostel at the corner, Cardiff Backpacker, to use the bathroom. It was quite comical because I went in there and told the guy that I would buy something from the bar if he would let me use the bathroom. He said they would be glad for me to use the bathroom, but that I didn’t need to buy anything from them, mainly because they only served their guests. He was pretty nice about it though.

When I got to the hostel, I went to my room but the light wasn’t working, so I came downstairs to read a storybook lying down in the lounge. I also brought my laptop back downstairs to do a bit of work and met a nice Australian couple who are traveling around and working in Scotland. We watched a show called “Little Britain” and chatted about Australia, compared it to the UK and the US, and also about domestic violence and the role some religious beliefs affect domestic violence. After they left, I stayed up till almost 4am typing out the interview I had with the lady who works at the Worthing Refuge. Interview was on 7^th September, a few days before I left for Cardiff. I thought I would be done by done, but it is quite tiring to transcribe recorded interviews. In fact, I should have known that it would be hard, looking at how hard and how long it took for me to transcribe that historical tape about the founding of Hampshire College. I didn’t even get the recorder till I got to Worthing. There were two types available; one that was just a digital recorder and the other that could be connected to the PC so that the interviews could be uploaded to the computer. I was trying to be frugal so I went for the one without the PC connection. Big mistake!! Why? Because if I had done that, I could have just put the interviews on my computer for later, instead of struggling to transcribe them all before the next interview. Twum told me that he had got me another recorder with longer recording time than the one I bought. I also had a long chat with Twum about the focus of my project. It was quite helpful because I was already feeling like I wasn’t getting anywhere and not learning enough. (Postscript: Now that I’m having to type up all my notes and observations, I realized that I have learnt a lot! It’s actually quite overwhelming.)

The next day I walked to the WSU Cardiff office. It was a bit farther than I was told and I got to the office all sweaty. They were however expecting me, so that was nice. The office manager, Clare, showed me around and introduced me to all the staff, and got me a mug of tea. (Yeah, I’ve gotten into the tea-drinking culture of the UK.) I got to chat with the lead caseworker, Liz, who was a bit busy, so after spending about ten minutes with her I moved to the police officer. Yes, they had a police officer on site, and she was very helpful. I was with her for over an hour, as she explained to me her role at the WSU, and the different ways in which WSU was working with the police. Apparently the on site police officer is changed every six months, so that the clients will have a sort of one-stop shop where their questions will be answered in an affirming, supportive way, instead of having to repeat their stories over and over again to different people.

When I left the office, I wanted to visit the Cardiff Castle, but I also wanted to get a bra because I realized I had only two bras with me on my trip. I spent quite a bit of time moving from store to store looking for bras in my size that were not ridiculously expensive. Most of the time I didn’t find anything in my size, and by the time I decided to go to the Castle, the last tour was over. I did buy some postcards though, and spent a bit of time looking for keepsakes ( I didn’t buy any though).

Once I got back to the hostel, a new girl, Niko, moved into my dorm. She was a lovely girl from Germany who was coming to spend a year studying in a Welsh university. Another girl, Sharon, from Hong Kong, joined us in the room. She had just completed a Bachelors in Mathematics at a University in the midlands of the UK, and wanted to visit Cardiff, Wales, before leaving for Hong Kong. We bonded pretty fast, and spent a few hours chatting. We then moved downstairs where I had a soda and Niko had a beer, while we split a (pretty large) piece of Victorian sponge cake. I also split my dinner with Niko (a chicken tikka baguette with salad). While down there we met a British born Pakistani man who was very nice. He asked if we wanted to watch anything in particular, and I told him that we would like to watch the WSU show at 10:30pm. He said he would think about it. J Anyway, at 10:25 he switched the channel to BBC 1 Wales, which is where the program was going to air, and he stayed and watched with us. We stayed up and chatted for quite a while about domestic violence and life in general, and even after Niko and Sharon went to bed, he kept me company for a little bit, then went to bed. I stayed up late (again), trying to finish transcribing the interviews. ( I still am not done. L)

The next day we had breakfast together, exchanged contact info, and I left for work with my luggage. Work was pretty cool. I sat in on a meeting that one of the caseworkers had with a client. The client came with her mother, and it was pretty interesting, especially when the conversation turned to the fact that the mother and her daughter believed that they could see things in the future, and could project themselves into the spirit realm or something like that. However, the woman had recently been given a new house to move into, so that was good news. The caseworker who had the meeting was called Nerys (lovely name) and she taught me how to pronounce Cardiff in Welsh. It was pretty nice.

Later on that day, I got to sit in on a survivors’ meeting that was ran by one of the survivors, a nice friendly lady called Gloria. She even gave me her mailing address and phone number to contact her if I needed anything. I left early in order to go for a tour at the Castle, but I realized that if I did that, I would have to take a later train to London, and I wouldn’t be able to go shopping with Kathy and Annabelle. I still got to London after 6pm, but I was able to buy a few essential things at a store in the station, so that wasn’t a total loss.

When I got to East Croydon, it was raining. I crossed the road trying to catch the bus right opposite the station, but it was only after I had gotten there that I realized that the road was closed. I crossed over to the other side, and decided to catch the 198 bus which stops next to the station. In my exhausted mind, I thought that since the road was closed, the bus would just turn around and head to Thornton Heath. I didn’t even think that there were other people who lived on the route and needed transportation. As I stayed on the bus and it went further and further away from Thornton Heath, I felt quite stupid. I had a good storybook to read so I wasn’t too worried. At the last stop, the bus driver yelled out that it was the last stop. I went up to him and explained meekly that I had picked the wrong bus. He was pretty nice about it and actually laughed at me. Thank God he didn’t chuck me out into the rain. I finally got back to Thornton Heath around 9pm, tired and wet.

I had some dinner, and then stayed up to finish up the red poncho and crochet some flowers to decorate it with. I wore the poncho to meet Twum at the airport the next day. I was a few minutes late because I underestimated how much time it would take to get to Heathrow. I got there and found Twum, and we took a black cab back to his hotel in London, which cost about 50 pounds. Yeah, quite a chunk of change. J (For those of you wondering, Twum is my husband by customary marriage. The traditional marriage was done by our families on 9^th September.) That was my first two weeks of September.

Soon and very soon...

2006-10-13T05:28:00.000-07:00

I'll be putting up a month's worth of updates. Yup, it's taken that long. I just have so much to tell and I didn't want to leave anything out.

By the way, for those of you who don't know, I'm in India. Kolkata, to be precise. :)

Have a wonderful day!

Lovely picture!! :)

2006-09-24T12:34:00.000-07:00

Twum and I on the Big Bus Tour of London. Lovely picture, no?

I've been AWOL

2006-09-24T09:32:00.000-07:00

For almost a month now, I haven't put anything on my blog. It's not because I haven't had anything to put up; I've just been too tired to do so. I apologize to those of you who've been waiting with bated breath (that's you, Dad) for the next installment of Denise stuff.

The last time I put anything up here, I was still living in Crawley, in the Southern part of the UK, with this lovely lady, and shadowing the WORTH Project. The WORTH Project is part of the larger West Sussex Community Safety Team, and the main team was in Chichester, a picturesque little town also in the Southern part of the UK. I should visit there properly, as I only spent a day there the last time.

I have moved to Thornton Heath, Croydon, which is about twenty minutes by train to Central London. I spent my first week there relaxing and transcribing my notes from the past month in Worthing. I returned to Worthing one of the days to interview a lovely lady who works at the refuge there. She also was once an occupant of the refuge, and is known in DV lingo as a survivor. We had a lovely conversation where she told me how she had gotten into her current position working as the Housing Advocate for women and their families in the refuge. The main thing I got from the conversation was that running any type of DV agency will not be succesful unless there is legislation and multi-agency cooperation.

The following week I went to visit an organization, the Women's Safety Unit, in Cardiff, Wales, where I stayed in a hostel called NosDa @ The Riverbank. Apparently NosDa means "goodnight's sleep" or something like that in Welsh. I met some nice people while staying at the hostel: a Pakistani British citizen called Khalid, a German student coming to study in Wales, called Niko, and a girl from Hong Kong who had just finished a BA here in the UK, called Sharon. It was pretty interesting. At the WSU, I met a lot of different people, and got the chance to chat with a police officer about the new police approach to domestic violence. The first day I went to the WSU (I arrived on a Monday and went to the office on Tuesday, 12th September), I was told that the WSU had a documentary that would air on BBC Wales 1 that evening. It was a nice documentary, and the three people I met at the hostel watched it with me, causing us to have a lovely conversation about DV.

I returned to Thornton Heath on Wednesday night, arriving after 9pm because of a series of unfortunate events (no pun intended). I caught the train from Cardiff (Caerdydd in Welsh! Very lovely) to London Paddington airport, but the train was delayed by about thirty minutes, so that I arrived around 6pm. I stopped to buy some underwear at this lingerie store called La Senza, then I caught the underground to Victoria station. From Victoria I had to take the train to Thornton Heath or East Croydon. The train to East Croydon was fastest, so I took that one, hoping to catch a bus from across the street to get to Thornton Heath. As my luck would have it, it was raining cats and dogs, AND the street across from the train station was closed for repairs, which meant I had to walk for about 5-10 minutes to the next bus stop, to catch the bus. Looking for a shortcut, I saw one of the buses, the 198, stopping next to the train station, and naively (or selfishly) thought that since the road was close, the bus would just turn around and go back to Thornton Heath. I therefore sat on it. Hahahaha!! I went all the way to the last stop on the other side of Croydon, and the bus driver actually kept screaming "Last stop, last stop." LOL! I had to go up there and tell him that I had unintentionally gotten on the bus as it was going the opposite way to my destination. It cracked him up, and he didn't chuck me out of the bus! Thank God, because I didn't know where on earth I was. I finally got home around 9pm, tired, wet and hungry. :)

Twum arrived in London on Thursday morning, and I went to meet him at Heathrow, although I was a few minutes late. We got to his hotel near Victoria Station with a taxi, and got settled in his lovely hotel room. The following Monday (the 18th) was my birthday. Happy Birthday to me!! That same evening we went to visit Twum's aunt Vida, her daughter Naaki, and granddaughter Noina (who is the cutest little girl!).

On Wednesday I went to have a very enlightening and reassuring conversation with Linda Regan of the Child and Woman Abuse Studies Unit in London, and then had a lovely lunch of one jacket potato with grilled vegetables, chicken, a salad and avocado. For four pounds. Yeah, baby! That evening, Twum and I on impulse went on this walking tour of London's grisly murder sites called "Blood and Tears: London's Horrible Past", which was conducted by a former actor and current researcher from Ireland, Declan McHugh. :) It was about two hours long, pretty detailed and interesting. It was also quite effective because it was held at night. Since then I've been a little scared of people following me around. LOL! The next day we went on the Big Bus Tour of London, and even took a ride on a boat down the Thames River. Pretty exciting.

On Friday Twum went to work, and I went to get my visa from the Indian consulate (or tried to). Since I had about an hour and a half to get there, I decided to take the bus to the consulate instead of the underground like I had the first time. Unfortunately for me, (and I should have thought about this), the bus stopped in a part of Holborn (the town) that I didn't know, so I just sat in there, waiting for a bus stop near the consulate. This stop never materialized, and before I realized I was in Bethnal Green, another town of London. I know, I know...I keep making mistakes like this. :)

Twum left Saturday morning on a 7am flight. He's on his way to Ghana. We went to bed around 1:30am after packing, and woke up at 3:30am to get a cab at 4am for the airport. I came back to Thornton Heath, and went to braid my hair that same day. I should have gone to bed, but I didn't, and stayed up till 3am Sunday morning. I woke up at 3pm Sunday afternoon. :)

So, that's a short recap of what's been going on with me. :) I'm waiting for my ticket to India. I leave on the 8th of October (hopefully), and from India, I will be going to Trinidad. I'm trying to get my ticket so that I spend Christmas in Trini. :) I'm also doing a bit of research on other countries that I can visit, since I lost Sri Lanka. I'm looking at Morocco, since I want to go to another African country after Trinidad, before going to Uganda. If you know any organizations in Morocco, or an Islamic country in Africa that is stable at the moment, do let me know.

With lots of love...

PS: I have a lot of pictures. I'll put some up later. :)

Last lot of pictures

2006-08-29T09:28:00.000-07:00

I just wanted you to see the congregation we ministered to. The lady I'm next to is Julie. Very nice lady from the church we ministered at. The two guys I am standing next to are my cousins who live in Croydon with an aunt I haven't seen in 15 years. I haven't seen my cousins in about eight years. It was quite a shock to see them looking tall and their voices sounding so deep. :) The last one is me, as usual, with my hair pulled back, playing with the camera. Oh yeah! Today is one month since I arrived in the UK!

More songs from my public performance

2006-08-29T09:22:00.000-07:00

Some of the instrumentalists, Jojo, Ayo and I after we were done singing.

Pictures from my weekend in Cannon Town

2006-08-29T09:16:00.000-07:00

Just a few pictures from my time singing at the revivial. And from that weekend in general.

And another one...

2006-08-27T13:18:00.000-07:00

This past week (or two), I’ve been in Worthing at the WORTH office, and this week I spent Wednesday in Chichester with Guy and the other team members of the Community Safety team of the West Sussex Council. He ( and the team) deals more with justice and judiciary issues. The WORTH project is apparently a subsidiary of what they do. The team trains different agents and agencies to be able to work with people who are in an abusive situation at home, and support them. They also helped developed a domestic violence workplace policy, and are now working to get a fast track specialist court that will hear both the civil and criminal aspects of a DV case at a specific time. The way it will hopefully work, for a time span on one particular day, the magistrate or judge will only hear DV cases, so that the issues are not spread out, and all the facts will be weighed in making a decision concerning the victim’s safety and that of any children involved.

Rewind: on Tuesday I went to a bookstore and bought three books for about 13 pounds. I also bought a Hindu pocketbook, some bookmarks, and the GI diet book. I felt really bad that I had spent that much money, so I returned the books on Thursday. However, I had found a charity shop that sold books from 50p, so I went in to “Help the Aged” and helped myself to nine books. Grand total of 11 pounds. Not bad at all!

I have Mondays and Fridays off, so I slept in today. J Now I’m trying to decide whether I should go up to Thornton Heath or not. And I have to type up my notes from my time at WORTH.

See ya! J

PS: I like comments, so leave them, and let me know how you are also doing.

Addendum: I’m already in Thornton Heath, and we are having a movie night, staying in and watching both Ghanaian & Nigerian movies, and some US movies. Fun, fun, fun! I also finally finished my red poncho. I'll put up a picture of it soon. :)

Oh blogger!

2006-08-27T13:15:00.000-07:00

I haven’t been on here in a while. I warned you about this happening, didn’t I? I only get internet access at work, and I feel bad updating my blog when I’m supposed to be working. The other place I access the internet at, this Clarion hotel in Crawley, has its CPU locked up so people can’t play with it. Moreover, you can only open one window at a time, so I can’t do much except check email. I’ve been here for almost a month. Scary, isn’t it?

Last week I went to Tottenham to sing at a church revival service with my friend Jojo and his team of instrumentalists. It was an interesting experience. J Teeheehee…! I left Crawley on Friday evening, after spending the whole day sleeping. I didn’t realize I was that tired. I told Nan I liked sausages with fried eggs and baked beans, so she made that for me, and added oven-baked French fries. Very lovely meal! She made the eggs overeasy though, and I had to convince her that I liked my eggs really well done. She said that it would be as hard as leather. LOL!

When I arrived at the Seven Sisters station in one of the zones of London, I called Jojo to come get me. While I waited, this English man walked up to me and asked if I could speak English. I said I could, and he said that the country (UK) was getting f’ed up. (He was a little drunk!). I asked him why he had come to that conclusion, and he said it was because he had just been on the bus and no one on that bus spoke English. I guess my English accent reeks of the US, because he mentioned something about that happening in the US, and I said that I’m actually from Ghana. Immediately he said he had a friend from Ghana, actually pronouncing the name properly: Michael Quartey. He said his friend owned a lot of houses in Ghana, and asked me about the real estate business in Ghana. LOL!! Then he asked if I felt safe standing there on my own because it was a rough neighbourhood. Honestly, I never felt unsafe there, which might be a little weird. I could see the station, and there were people constantly entering and leaving, so I felt safe. I thanked him for his offer, and he strayed off. Another girl came up to me to ask if I knew where the Tesco’s was, because I think she was also meeting someone, just like me. I told her I had no idea where it was because I was also new there. She hailed one passerby who ignored her completely, actually sidestepping her in order to move on. We both commented on that and laughed. Another man passed by (I’m actually sure he was Ghanaian! We are everywhere!), and he gave her directions to the store, which turned out to be around the corner. Jojo called then to ask if I was near the Tesco’s, and because I had an idea of where it was, I could give him better direction to where I was standing.

He took me with him to the church where they were having the revival, and we left around 11pm. He took me to stay with this very nice lady called Vero, and she made a lot of good food for me. I had some rice with stew, boiled egg and friend plantain on Friday evening. The next morning I had milo with some very good bread and fried egg! Lovely meal! (Yes I know, I love food! My dad said I always write about food on this blog and not about the gym I signed up for. I have signed up for a gym, and I go there at least three times a week, after work.) We were supposed to sing at 7pm, but things were a little behind schedule, and I don’t think we started till almost 8pm. I was singing backing vocals, with a nice Nigerian guy called Ayo. My voice was not in top form, but people said I sounded good. I’m sure they were just being nice. I think I was coming down with a cold, so I had to keep singing high notes because I couldn’t maintain the normal range without croaking. I met some really accomplished musicians, like Borax, a lead guitarist who apparently plays for Joyful Way, and George, a really good keyboard player. He was one the original John Teye band members, along with Otoo, the drummer who is the founder of John Teye’s son. The conga player and bassist were also original John Teye members (I think). I haven’t had such a wonderful session with great music played like that. ( In fact, I haven’t sung solo in a while because I’ve been directing for about two years now). I took some pictures which I'll put up later.

On Sunday Jojo came for me around noon, after his church service, to go sing at another church. We were going to stay at this other church the whole time, but after Jojo had led praise and worship we left. As we were driving past, I saw a girl I had been in Gey Hey with, Shole Gerber. It was really nice to see her. She was looking great! Jojo drove me to Kathy’s place, and I went to the movies later on that evening with them. I saw “John Tucker must die.” Very funny movie. I watched that with Annabelle, while Kathy, Thomas and Ato watched “Snakes on a plane.” I’m already uncomfortable about flying, and I don’t want to add that level of fear to my flight experience.

After the movie I had a very uncomfortable conversation with Sammy, my friend in Birmingham. We had had an argument just before I left his place when I visited, and I hadn’t heard from him since, although I had been texting him. He said he was mad at me, for getting mad at that. I’m not going to go into the details, but I still am not feeling too good about it.

Weekend Bonanza Pictures

2006-08-15T07:29:00.000-07:00

These are a few of the pictures that I took at Kathy's place. First there's Jojo, a friend of mine (the one who sings), Ato (Kathy's cousin), Kathy, me and Kathy's twin siblings, Annabelle and Thomas.

Weekend Bonanza Part II

2006-08-15T07:24:00.000-07:00

The next day was Sunday, and I woke up at almost noon. I had to return to Crawley. My friend Jojo wanted to meet me at Victoria Station. It was raining cats and dogs. What to do, what to do. I didn’t want to go out into the rain (duh!). Even more, I didn’t want to go back to Crawley and back to work because I was relaxing and getting reacquainted with my friend. I decided to back a cake for Kathy and her family, and also to make my favorite meal, boiled yam with corned beef and egg stew. Kathy and I went shopping once the rain had stopped. I texted Jojo to come over to Thornton’s Heath since he had a car, and he said he would after church. Ato, Kathy’s cousin, helped me very much with the creaming of the cake, so that I had very little to do, and could concentrate on making the corned beef stew, which turned out really well.

When Jojo turned up, he was quite surprised to see how I had changed, because we hadn’t seen each other in eleven years. J. It took him a while to get over how much I had changed. I introduced him to Kathy’s siblings and cousin, and we all basically sat in the kitchen, cooking and talking. Jojo made to leave many times, and we even wrapped a bit of the cake for him to take with him. As an aside, I made about a pound of the cheese pound cake, and thirty minutes after the cake was done, almost two-thirds of it was gone. Hehhee….(giving myself a pat on the shoulder). Back to Jojo. He didn’t want dinner, but since we had made him stay that long, we forced him to have a bit. A bit turned into a second helping as he enjoyed the meal immensely. (Yes, I am a bit vain, but whatever. Giving myself another pat on the shoulder.) After the meal, a new side of Jojo that I had never seen emerged. I got a phone call from Twum, my honey, so I went into the bedroom to speak to him. We both could hear (him through the phone) raucous laughter coming from the kitchen. It turned out that Jojo was quite the comedian, telling such funny stories that had the others doubled over with laughter. I don’t think he let till after 10pm. All in all, it was a fun night.

I then called Nan to tell her that I couldn’t make it back to Crawley that night. She said she had been worried because she hadn’t heard from me, and I felt a bit guilty. As I didn’t have any clothes but the ones I had worn there, I had to do laundry. However, by the time we had finished cleaning and all that good stuff, it was almost 1am. I started doing laundry at 1am. I knew there and then that I wouldn’t be able to make it to work, but I was hoping for the best. We put it in the dryer around 2:30am, and that’s when I went to bed. I woke up at 8:30 Monday morning to get ready for work, but couldn’t stay up, so I called to say I’ll be in a bit later. I woke up again at 10:30am and decided to get my clothes out of the dryer. They were by no means dry! L. I was definitely going to be way too late to go to work. I called in and said I wasn’t feeling well and would come in on another day. It wasn’t a complete lie because I was really drowsy and coming down with a cold. I slept till noon, had some cereal, and lay in bed reading for a while. I got cleaned and dressed around 3pm, and just kept lazing about and resting. Around 4pm, Ato came to remind me that I had to go to town to change some money and return some things I had bought. I took my handbag and left with him. It wasn’t till we got to town that I realized that I didn’t need to go back home with him, but I could leave from there since I had everything I had come with on me.

I got a little snack from Gregg’s as I was hungry, and then he walked me to the East Croydon train station after I had done all that I needed to do. Ato was really helpful, taking me where I needed to be to change money (Marks and Spencer) and to return two tops I had bought on impulse (Dorothy Perkins). Kathy had had to leave for work, which is why Ato was the one who helped me. I didn’t know how to thank him, but he said he would just wait for more cake the next time I visited. At the train station I bought a story book and a Fanta, but I was told the drink was cheaper if I bought two of them, so I did just that and gave one to Ato. I bought my ticket, got on my platform, and chatted with Twum on the phone until my train came.

The trip to Crawley was only about 20-25 minutes long, which was nice to know, as it meant I could hop over to visit Kathy without spending a long time on the train. Right as I arrived at the Crawley station, I got a call from Nan asking where I was and when I would be getting home for dinner. I told her I had just arrived, and that I would walk home to familiarize myself with the route. I thought I was lost initially, but I wasn’t, and found myself very soon at the Clarion Hotel which was near Nan’s house. I went in and signed up for the gym membership deal they are having, and also booked an appointment for a free consultation with the on-site personal trainer. I hope to go twice a day. Please pray for me so I stick to that. J

I had arrived at the train station at 7pm, and I got home before 8pm. It was about a thirty minute walk from the train station to Nan’s house, which is not a bad walk. I’m still not too used to the roads and the flipping of the sides where the cars drive. I’ve just told myself that most of the time the on-coming car is to my right, instead of my left, so I should just keep that in mind.

I’m in bed now, about to go to bed so I can wake up early tomorrow morning to get to the gym, then catch the train to work in Worthing. I hope I make it. I start my third week tomorrow. It feels like I’ve been here longer than that.

Stay blessed, and enjoy the week!

Weekend Bonanza Part I

2006-08-15T07:13:00.000-07:00

Saturday, I was supposed to meet Kathy, a very good friend from my secondary school days in Wesley Girls, in Brighton. The weather decided that it was a good day to be uncooperative. It kept raining and the atmosphere was just grey and depressing. I didn’t want to leave the house. However, Kathy had already set out. Then, as if clueing in to the weather and sharing in it’s sadness, my phone signal went out, and I couldn’t make or receive calls. Of course, I didn’t know this till about an hour later, and then I began to panic that Kathy might have arrived, waited for a while, and thought I wasn’t coming. I didn’t know whether to stay or go. I decided to go, then started worrying whether I should just go back with her to her London apartment or come back home. I thought I would come back home, so I just left with my handbag and an umbrella. I walked up to the top of the road where the bus stop was, and decided not to walk to the train station because I wasn’t really sure how to get there although it had been pointed out to me, and I was already a couple of hours late. So, I waited for the bus with this young man who was dressed in all black, had tattoos on both arms and was finishing up a cigarette. I asked him which bus to take to get to the train station, and he said all buses went there, so I got on the next one, paid my fare, and got down at the station. I bought a return ticket to Brighton, because once again, I was deluding myself that I would be back home that evening. Why do I say deluding? Because I haven’t seen Kathy in six years, and I knew that we would want to spend a lot of time catching up. It was already 4pm when I got to the train station, which meant that we wouldn’t have a lot of time together before it got dark. Silly silly Denise! Wasting money on a return ticket. Teeheehee.

I had to switch trains at Three Bridges, which is pretty close to Gatwick Airport. Twum called me while I was on the platform and we had a really fun conversation. I got to Brighton at almost 4pm, and picked Kathy out immediately because she is tall. J She has always been tall. She is now 6ft tall. Yup! Pretty intimidating for most guys, especially Ghanaian guys who are usually of average height. We walked down to the center of the town, to Pret A Manger, where one of her friends worked. We asked for a good place to eat and were directed to a Chinese buffet restaurant nearby. Kathy and I had a lot of fun, chatting and filling up on Chinese food. After lunch/dinner, we went into the shopping mall and got a few things we both needed, then went back to Pret A Manger to meet up with Kathy’s friend. Two other friends had turned up, and we had a grand time poking fun at each other’s secondary schools. Kathy and I left Brighton around 7pm I think (it could have been 8pm), and took a train back to London, where we got off at East Croydon, which is on the outskirts of London in one of the zones. I don’t get the zone thing.

Anyway, Kathy has a house that she lives in with her siblings and a cousin. Really lovely house in Thornton Heath. I went in and met them, and Kathy mentioned that there was a Ghanaian restaurant a few minutes away. I wanted to eat banku and okro soup. I don’t know why, but each time I hear about a Ghanaian restaurant, the first thing I want is banku and okro soup. So, after we had relaxed a bit and I had gotten to know the rest of the family, we went out to the bus stop and went on to the restaurant, called Baba Foundation, a Ghanaian community center. On the bus ride there, we encountered quite a few Ghanaian men who proceeded to propose to us and ask us out on dates. LOL! They complained when I told them I was married, saying that all the Ghanaian women they met claimed they were married. It was pretty funny.

I got my banku and had it to my satisfaction, to Kathy’s amazement, since it was almost 1am. Oh yeah! It was that late. A friend of Kathy’s, William, came to join us after he closed from work, and we went upstairs for about ten minutes to dance to the hiplife songs they were playing, then we left in William’s car back to Kathy’s house. We didn’t go to bed till after 4am. Lovely night.

I love Primark

2006-08-15T07:08:00.000-07:00

I didn’t go to work on Friday because I was tired, and also because it was Chris’s birthday and she wasn’t going to work. I live with Chris’s mom here in Crawley, UK, so Chris takes me to work and brings me back after work. I was so tired on that I woke up almost noon on Friday. Actually, Nan woke me up because she said Amy, her granddaughter, who was coming to take me to town, would be arriving soon.

I went with Amy to her house where she parked her car, then we walked into town. It was a nice walk. I toyed briefly with getting a nose stud because quite frankly, it looks pretty sexy. We came across an open air market with both farm produce and clothing. It was quite fun. From there we walked into the center of the town where I found my new love, Primark (sorry honey! J). Primark is this store in the UK where really nice, stylish clothes and accessories are sold for very cheap. To give you an idea of how cheap these things are, I’ll tell you all that I bought and how much it cost. I got three necklaces, seven pairs of earrings, a set of ten bracelets, six other individual bracelets, three head ties, a belt, a red handbag, two wallets, five blouses and a pair of pants for a grand total of 42 pounds! Not bad, eh? I must admit I went a bit crazy on the red though…oh well, I only live once, right?

I then had the most delicious sandwich, made of chicken, bacon, green onions and avocado on wheat bread. Just amazing! Then I had ice cream from Baskin Robbins, and went into this store called Boots for a make-up tutorial and makeover from the Clinique counter. I looked okay. I don’t think heavy make-up looks good on me, so I didn’t like the final product that much. However, when most of it had faded a little, I was quite striking, if I may say so myself. LOL!

We got picked up by Chris after I had been shown the train station, and we went back home, where Amy, Nan and I took this picture. What a lovely day!!

Random pictures

2006-08-15T06:42:00.000-07:00

I have some pictures from Christelle's visit, and from my first day at Nan's place (That's Chris's mum). I've been wanting to put those up for a while but I hadn't really gotten a chance to do so, so here we go. There is a picture of Skippy the dog, a really lovely creature, some pictures of my rooms( I sleep in one and keep my suitcases in another), my shoe collection (which keeps growing...LOL!), and of me posing in the mirror (as usual).

Tough Stuff

2006-08-15T06:28:00.000-07:00

It looks like the last time I updated this blog was last week Wednesday, which is almost a week ago. Since then, I sat in on two of the caseworkers’ meetings with clients, some old and some new. One of them, a new referral, was quite emotional and I left the hour and a half meeting feeling physically and emotionally drained. I couldn’t believe that another human being could treat someone they claimed to love so callously. The poor woman totally believed the man she was with when he said he would find her if she tried to run away. Although the WORTH project did not push anyone to choose one mode of action over the other, whenever the woman mentioned that she wanted to leave and we told her we would support whatever decision she made, she always backed out, saying that maybe she should just go back, keep quiet, and take whatever the man was doling out, because she didn’t want to cause trouble. What? What what what?

In situations like these where the woman believes it would be easier to just go back and accept the abuse so as not to cause trouble and involve the police, the case workers had to be blunt, letting the women know that if they stayed, there might be even more trouble if their partners ended up killing them. That thought sends shivers down my spine….

Even more chilling was the case of this old woman whose son was abusing her. I was told that in one instance, the son beat his mother up, threw her around and pushed her onto the floor (this woman was about 74 years old), took a knife and brought it close to her eyes, telling her that he could kill whenever he wanted. When the woman reported the case, she said she didn’t want to press charges because she didn’t want to cause trouble for her son but wanted to help her. One of the caseworkers told her bluntly that the next time it could be murder her son would be up for, and that convinced her. She pressed charges and her son was put in jail for eighteen months. He was however let out after nine months on good behavior. I wonder how this old lady is doing now, whether she is afraid her son will come back to find her and kill her.

And that’s the thing with domestic violence, I’ve realized. Because it’s got more to do with power than anything else, I’m sure most of the women are afraid that if they leave, their abuser would chase them down and find them, in order to exert control over them and not lose their control. As much as I would like to say that this does not happen, that when the women leave the perpetrator doesn’t track them down, there have been incidents where the women have been found by their abusers, and have been forced to live a nomadic life, moving frequently to cause the perp to lose the trail. Once again, I think, “What? What what what?,” and “Why why why?”

In response to your question, Henry, about how the case workers deal with such disturbing issues on a daily basis, I was told that most of them went to see their own counselors often to relieve the stress. Also, they had a scheduling grid where anyone who was on the schedule as the Blue person would not see any clients for two days even though they were present at the office, taking that time to de-stress and touch base with the coordinator. That person also usually got two days off, so that they could work the weekend shift. I hope that answers your question a bit.

I've been around

2006-08-09T03:44:00.000-07:00

On my way back from Birmingham on Sunday, I was supposed to meet and have lunch with a couple of friends in London. However, I was tired and had a bit of luggage on me, so I cancelled all that and just took the train back to Worthing, got a taxi, and went back to where I was staying. My hosts arrived just a few minutes later, also from London, and then Paul took me to Devil's Dyke to look at the whole of West Sussex from up a hill. I put up a few pictures of the place, and also of people who were hang gliding.

Anyway, Monday I was supposed to go in to the offices of the WORTH project, but I woke up really exhausted. I made my excuses to Paul and went back to bed till noon when Christelle told me that she wanted to come up to Worthing to meet with me since I was unable to meet with her the day before. I met with her at the train station and we went into a Wimpy restaurant (I think it's a fast food joint), and had this delicious grilled chicken sandwich, and shared a treacle sponge dessert (really yummy!). We walked about a bit, and then took the train to Brighton because I was looking at other accomodation. The house was dirty and bad, and it was located in this alley place that did not look safe at all. Chri and I left and I told the guy I would contact him and let him know.

Tuesday morning I left the house around 11am and came to the WORTH office by bus, where I shadowed two of the case workers as they talked to their clients. It was really physically and emotionally draining, and I had a headache after that. I couldn't believe that they went through this day in and day out, seeing numerous people a day whose lives were a living hell. I took some Advil, and needed to take a nap. There was an open office as someone is on leave this week, so I was given a pillow and I slept under the table in the office. :)

Later that evening we all went to a Spanish tapa restaurant called Capricho's to eat tapas, and then we went to a bingo hall to play bingo. It was mad hilarious! :) As they say here, "It was wicked!" After bingo, Chris, one of the ladies, took me to her mom's house, which is where I'll be staying from now on till whenever I want. Her mom is really nice and sweet, and has this cute dog called Skippy. Even better, her mom is really good at knitting, so I hope to pick up a few skills before I leave England.

Today, I had to be up by 7am so I could be ready by 8am for Chris to pick me up, in order to make it to the office by 9am. I didn't fall asleep till almost 3am. As you can probably guess, I'm drinking a lot of coffee. I went to see another client with one of the case workers, and it's heartbreaking when a woman is trying to move on with her life after suffering abuse, and her former partner uses her love for her children to manipulate himself back into her life and try to wield some control over here. Really heavy stuff over here.

This is quite a condensed version of all the things that have been happening, but I don't have regular access to the net now, so I'm afraid this will be how I blog for a while.

Oh, also, a friend of mine from a long time ago, when I used to live in North Kaneshie in Ghana, is here in the UK working as a musician. He got my email addy from our choir director from back then, who I keep in touch with infrequently, and we've been communicating. He's pretty well-known among local churches, and is planning a few concerts this month and the next. I've been invited to sing at some of these concerts. Isn't that just cool?

I should go now. I've been here for too long. I'll put up pictures later, when I can.

Stay safe, and God bless.

So tired already...

2006-08-06T16:38:00.000-07:00

I was going to update this blog with a lot of info about what I've been up to and what I've experienced, but I'm pretty tired from all my train rides, and I also have to go to work tomorrow, so I'll just wait for another chance. I did a bit of sightseeing with Pauline when I got back to Worthing, to a hilltop called Devil's Dyke where all of West Sussex can be seen from, so that is also something to share. To make you happy though, I'm just going to put up a few pictures of what I did, and hope to give u the full scoop later. I do have about a paragraph written up though, so here goes.

"I arrived in Birmingham late Friday night, and I was met by Angela, Sammy’s wife and my childhood friend from church. They have a ten-month old son Adrian, who has the most beautiful smile ever. It seems to light up the room, and he always flashes it and turns, as if he is teasing you with the smile. Sammy had to go to work as he works the late night shift at his job. Angie and I sat around and chatted for a while, actually till almost 1am about random stuff, and I had some gooooooooood rice and stew with some lovely meat ( I think it was goat…not too sure! It was still very tasty!).

Sammy arrived from work at 8am and woke me up with a loud shout. We hadn’t seen each other in five years, so it was pretty nice to see him. He hasn’t changed much physically, and still fun and outgoing and God fearing. He made all of us a lovely omelette with vegetables and mincemeat, and we had that for breakfast, with bread and hot chocolate. We spent most of the morning chatting and catching up on each other’s escapades since we last met. Angela actually went to high school with Twum, my fiancé, so that made for some interesting conversation. We then went to Birmingham to look around the mall and do a little bit of shopping. I bought two shoes, really cute ones. :)."

I'll continue later. (Yawn!)

In Birmingham, UK

2006-08-05T10:04:00.000-07:00

I have this friend that I hadn't seen in about five years who is currently living in Birmingham with his wife and son. I therefore decided to go up there this weekend to visit them. I am in Birmingham right now. It's a pretty nice city, and it seems relatively cheap compared to London.

On Friday I had training for working with the WORTH project, so I had to walk to the Berkely Hotel in Worthing, right by the sea. My host gave me some directions to the place, but she wasn't very specific on how far or how long it would take me to get there. Birmingham is north of Worthing and London, and the trip was projected to take 3hrs by train. Consequently I had to take my weekend bag to the training session, along with my tote bag. Bad idea!

It took me 45minutes to get to the hotel, and my feet were killing me, not to mention my back which felt like it was breaking! The training session wasn't bad though, and the ladies I met there were very charming and nice. :) I think I'm starting to pick up a bit of the British accent. LOL!

More to come later... right now I have the itis!

Smile!

What the....?

2006-08-05T10:02:00.000-07:00

I know the internet is a free space and all that, and people are free to leave their comments and stuff all over, but NOT ON MY BLOG! Someone left a really horrid comment on my Thursday entry, and I am not tickled in the least bit! I responded to them as another comment, so you can check that out. Not funny, not funny, not funny!!

Being a bum and messing around with Picasa

2006-08-03T08:17:00.000-07:00

I went to bed late last night because I was trying to upload lots of pictures from my first day in the UK. I didn't wake up till almost noon today, and I've just been in the apartment chatting online and reading a storybook. After all, it IS my reading and rest day. Teeheehee...

I downloaded Picasa onto my host's computer and I've just been playing around with it's features. I made a collage of pictures taken during my last year in college. I think it looks good. What do you think? Budding photographer?

More pics from first day

2006-08-02T18:40:00.000-07:00

Just trying something out. Trust me, my blogs will probably not be this detailed once I start my research in earnest.

So, I found this new website that hosts pics, and I created an account. I'm sorry I have to split up my writing and my pics, but it's taking too long to upload pics onto this blog. The url is http://www.photoblog.com/user/awurama.

My first full day in the UK

2006-08-02T16:17:00.000-07:00

Last night, after succumbing to jetlag at 5pm, I woke up at 9pm and had dinner that my hosts had made. Lovely vegetable and turkey curry with brown rice. This brown rice was pretty good because it wasn't like the round-seed-looking one in the US. I was actually able to eat this brown rice! LOL! Apparently, my host dad is a fan of Big Brother, a reality series here in the UK. We therefore watched a bit of it, followed by another reality show called Love Island, which has UK celebrities living on an island and hoping to find love. LOL!

I woke up pretty early, with the sun streaming across my bed. I had gone to bed around 2am, and it was now 9:30am UK time. My hostess Pauline was just rushing out the door to work. I was a bit excited, though I felt languid and lazy, in no hurry to get out of my pjs and out the door into town. I had a nectarine after brushing my teeth, and spent about three or more hours online looking for phones. I had been told that i needed phones that worked on GSM bands available in the various countries I'll be visiting. I did a bit of research on that (www.celluloco.com was a very helpful website in sorting out what those different band phones mean). I found I needed a triband phone, so I looked up phone stores here in Worthing. I found about five, all on the same street: Montague! Isn't that charming!

I also chatted with my dad, my friend Phoebe in Ghana, another friend KD in the US, and my fiance Twum in Cali (who was up at 4am for some weird reason!! :P. My dad kept nagging me (teeheehee!) to hurry up and update my blog for the day, because he was anxious to read it. I told him I had not done anything yet, but he said he wanted to see my itinerary for the day. Love you dad!

So, after having breakfast of 2 slices of bread and a mocha ( i added cocoa to the coffee because I couldn't find the sugar! LOL!), I went to take a long shower! I actually had a funny incident during breakfast. I saw this spread in the fridge that had Omega-3 oils, which are supposed to be good for the heart or so. Now most (or all?) Omega-3 oils come from fish. I however didn't expect the spread (like margarine) to smell fishy. So I spread it liberally on my first slice of bread, only to realize I couldn't eat it. I forced myself to take two bites, then I used a knife to slice off the top of the bread. I had a second nectarine then, finished my breakfast, took a shower(around 2pm), and had a KitKat. :)

Armed with my camera, my ipod, a bottle of water and a banana, the names of the stores, and a general sense of where the center of town was, I started walking along the beach towards Worthing. I took quite a number of pictures because I kept telling people how pretty it was to live across the street from the sea. It was about a mile and a half to the center of town. I came across a needlecraft store with lots of stuff for knitting, crocheting, cross stitching and beading. I am planning to go there tomorrow for some yarn to start my crocheting binge! :) I also found a number of jewelry stores that had some of the most beautiful rings I have ever seen. Honey, I need to take you to this place...:P.

Let's talk culture shock and funny surprises. I still can't get over the driving on the "wrong" side of the road, and the use of double-decker buses. I squeal everytime I see one of those buses. :)Then, in the middle of this quaint seaside town, I found a KFC, a Subway and a Pizza Hut!! I couldn't help laughing to myself! Then, because of the beautiful view (I think), there were dozens of guesthouses (bed and breakfast houses) along the street parallel to the beach.

I went into three phone stores without finding anything I like, but I found a nice Nokia 3220 in the fourth store, and got a Pay As You Go plan with O2, one of the networks over here. The other competitors are T-Mobile, Orange and Virgin Mobile. I also got directions to an internet cafe on the way back where I got my phone unlocked for £10. All in all, it cost me £70 to get the phone and get it unlocked. That's a little over $140. Nice chunk of change.

My contact at the Worthing Project, Trish, actually had an itinerary planned out for me when I got in, all the way till 25th August. Today and tomorrow are my rest days, and then I have training on Friday. Exciting! I'm hoping to go visit a friend, Sammy, and his family in Birmingham on Friday evening and Saturday, and meet up with Christelle for church and brunch in London on Sunday. Yes, I'm chilling already! :)

After getting the phone, I got lunch at Caffe Nero, this lovely cafe on Montague road. I got a ham and provolone sandwich, a mocha and a bag of bite-size chocolate chip shortbread cookies. The total for all that was about £8.20. Let's not even bother converting into dollars anymore.

Pauline had invited me to yoga at Aquarena, the gym in town, but I had just had lunch so I couldn't participate. I went to wait for her there, but she went out through another door, so I began walking back home after I left her voicemail. She met me on the way home and took me back. We had savory pancakes for dinner. Pauline is vegetarian and eats pretty healthy. She made the pancakes with eggs, brown flour and some milk, and after they were done, we filled them with avocado, sundried tomatoes, spinach and hummus, or with baked beans an chickpeas. It was quite delicious. Then, we decided to go shopping, to ASDA, the UK version of Walmart (it is actually part of the Walmart family!).

The store was actually a bit far from the house, so we drove there with one of Paul's friends, Claire. It was fun! We passed by this private school that is reported to have the largest stained glass window, and I was also told that the makers of Harry Potter had wanted to film there, but the headteacher thought it would be too distracting. I bought some nectarines and apples, and got a small bathrobe to wear in the house ( I don't want to be walking about in just a towel.)I also got a cute red top for £6.

We got back home and Paul and I chatted for a bit before she went off to bed. I have quite a number of pictures to put up from today. I doubt I'll be able to blog this extensively everyday of this year, but I'll do my best to keep it recent. :) I hope you enjoyed reading this!

My Luggage Woes

2006-08-01T08:16:00.000-07:00

I honestly cannot believe that I'm here in Britain. It still hasn't really dawned on me that I'm away, and that I'm going to be away for a year. The flight here wasn't too bad, and we actually landed at London Heathrow airport an hour ahead of schedule. I got some money changed into pounds, surfed the web at the airport, then went in search of my luggage. That's when it all started. I took a medium sized suitcase and a medium sized duffel bag. Both seemed pretty light when I left Mountain View. In London, now armed with the two aforementioned bags, a tote bag, and a backpack, I started to feel the weight. It didn't help that the underground train I was supposed to take was about two terminals away, and I had to drag all this stuff around. Then, to make matters worse, once I got to Victoria Station where I was to change trains to get to Worthing (where I'll be staying for a week), they had no elevators or escalators. I had to carry these bags up a lot of stairs. In fact, after the climb, I stopped at a cafe, had some breakfast, and lounged for about an hour and a half.

At the cafe I met a nice Australian girl who allowed me to sit at her table whilst I ate, and we chatted a bit. She's working in the UK for a year. She was also kind enough to watch my bags while I looked for a restroom after my long trip. I finally boarded the train to Worthing, only to find out that I was in the last coach, and had to move to one of the first four coaches because the train actually separated into two at one of the stations. I had to make mad dashes from one coach to the other whenever the train stopped at a station, and it was no easy feat, with all these four bags hanging on me. The funny thing is that I actually thought I had packed light this time. I need to do some serious reevaluation before I travel again.

My contact here in the UK was very nice, and actually found me a host family to live with while I'm here. The lady who is hosting me, Pauline, came to meet me at the train station and brought me to her house, where I'm sending this from. She's really nice, and she also recently started knitting. I'm pretty excited. She was also telling me about cheap tickets to fly to various European countries around. I hope to get a visa for one of the EU countries so I can do some sightseeing before leaving the UK.

Okay, I need to take a shower and/or a nap, because I feel pretty tired. Oh, and the house is right by the beach too...Worthing Beach! Lovely! I'll put up some pictures soon once I have the chance. Yay!!

Just checking..

2006-08-01T02:41:00.000-07:00

To see whether this mail to blogger thing works.

Just checking..

2006-07-24T12:24:00.000-07:00

To see whether this mail to blogger feature works.

Not chilling so much

2006-07-24T11:55:00.000-07:00

There is this crazy heat wave in California that has apparently killed some people already. I tell you, we had to find an airconditioned place to hide out in yesterday just because it was so hot. We live on the top floor of a three-storey building, so all the heat rises, and we get baked up there. Apparently the heat wave won't be breaking till Wednesday or so. My oh my! Staying at home used to be fun till all this heat! LOL! I know I'm supposed to be used to heat, coming from Ghana and all, but this heat is different. I don't know what it is, but Lawdy Lord! it's really hot! What am I gon do???

On another subject, does anyone know any hair stylists in the Palo Alto area who work with black natural hair? My hair needs a good trim!

Chilling in California

2006-07-20T17:42:00.000-07:00

I am still relaxing in Mountain View with Twum while waiting for my visa documents to arrive. I must say that I am a bit nervous about travelling for a whole year. I am not sure what to pack for such a trip, but I would appreciate any suggestions. I am supposed to leave on July 31st for my first stop, the UK. Should be fun, I guess. :)